Pointless Prizeless Challenge #12: Render A (Stupid) Story Title

3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
edited November 13 in Art Studio

(Edit: I've only just realized that there's a genuine, serious Book Covers thread here. But it seems far too serious for the rubbish I'm coming up with ! )

Today I'm not bored, I'm inspired ! Yes, there's no escape  - it's time to inflict another one of these on the unsuspecting sensible people of the forum...

(If you don't know what a Pointless, Prizeless Challenge is... well, you should be able to work it out for yourself, shouldn't you? Hint: The key is in the two adjectives - 'Pointless' and 'Prizeless'. The word 'Stupid' also comes to mind, but it doesn't begin with P and would ruin the alliteration.  For more information see the Pointless Prizeless Challenge Index and the previous challenge - Pointless Prizeless Challenge #2,486: Render the building of an Interociter)

A while back I did a cover for the pulp magazine "Unbelievable Stories" illustrating the story "The Cement Jungle" and came up with a few additional story titles for the cover:

For people who can't read pictures the other stories listed on the cover are:

  • The Pixie Men Of Pangolin
  • "Alas!" Cried The Opossum
  • Santa Cthlaus Is Coming To Town
  • The Pig Who Knew
  • The Atomic Aubergine
  • Ron Quixote And The Windmills Of Jupiter

The challenge is to render a teaser image for one of the story titles above*

The teaser image can be a magazine cover, a movie poster, a plain old picture.In fact whatever you want.

 

*.If none of those titles get your creative juices flowing, then try one of the story titles listed in the next post**

**If the story titles in the next post don't do it for you either, then go ahead and come up with your own story title.

Post edited by 3dcheapskate on

Comments

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 2019

    {This post originally had a short list of additional titles. After a few days I added the tumbleweed comment at the bottom. A while later I decided to use this post to keep a master list of stupid titles}

    Master List (part 1) Of Story/Book/Periodical Titles (Including Those Mentioned In The Post Above)

    Link to part 2

    The (M-C-R) code in brackets after the title is just to remind me which 64-book texture I used it in. M is the texture image (A,B,C as below), C is the column(0 left or 1 right) and R is row (0 bottom to 31 top)

    • A is the 'Pulp 1' 64 book texture (64-Book-UV1-Texture01.jpg)
    • B is the 'Pulp 1' 64 book texture (64-Book-UV1-Texture02.jpg)
    • C is the 'Classics 1' 64 book texture (64-Book-UV1-Texture03.jpg)

    ( Note:I have a suspicion that at least one of these titles may actually exist.That's not my fault! )

    • From the post above:Crapunzel: The Princess And The Pee ... (A-0-17)
    • Little Snow White Riding Hood Goes To Grannys On A Wednesday ... (A-0-19)
    • Pinnochia In Toyland ... (A-0-18)
    • The Spoons Of Doom ... (A-0-20)
    • Death Knell/Nell, Death Rattle ? Death Nell And The Rattle Of Hades ?  ... (B-1-29)
    • Obidiah My Darling Clementine ?  ... (B-1-24)
    • Reaper Grim  ... (B-1-21)
    • The Doggerel Of Dr Moreau ... (A-0-21)
    • Circe's Piggery ... (A-0-22)
    • The Reticent Extrovert ... (B-1-8)
    • The Sextrovert ... (A-0-24)
    • The Sintrovert ... (A-0-25)
    • The Adventures of Rodin 'Ziggy' Machiavelli ... (A-0-26)
    • The Kiddies Pop-Up Necronomicon ... (A-0-27)
    • Dagon's Dinner Party ... (A-0-23)
    • The Thoughtocrats ... (A-0-29)
    • Martin Wugglechops ... (A-0-30)
    • Goodbye Joe ... (A-0-28)
    • A Fool's Wisdom ... (B-1-31)
    • The Tuba Of Lust ... (B-1-5)
    • Rent-A-Cod ... (A-0-31)
    • The Pleiades Plague ... (B-1-0)
    • Alice Aforethought (39) ... (B-1-6)
    • The Linguists Of Babel III ... (B-1-4)
    • The Woebegone Wobbegong ... (B-1-3)
    • Something Nautical (by 'Salty' C.Dogg) ... (B-1-2)
    • The Chedi Jedi Of Giedi Prime (40) ... (B-1-7)
    • Benny Gesserit And Gom-Jabba The Nut ... (B-0-7)
    • Benny Gesserit And The Ramen Of Arakis ... (B-0-29)
    • Do Mandroids Dream Of Electric Somethings   ...by Philip K Dork ... (B-0-6)
    • Do Gynoids Dream Of Electric Somethings   ...by Philip K Dork ... (B-0-4)
    • Do Electric Sheep Dream Of Virtual Grass  ..by Philip K Dork ... (B-1-28)
    • The Hamdroid  ... (B-1-20)
    • Auntie Virus And The Case Of The Mal-Wear  ... (B-1-30)
    • The Linguini Farmers  ... (B-1-18)
    • Gogol's Gorgonzola  ... (B-1-25)
    • Delousing The Gorgonzola Camembert ... (B-1-23)
    • Medusa's Sisters  ... (B-1-19)
    • Zola's Other Zither  ... (B-1-22)
    • I Dont Recall That/I Forget   ...by Mark L Prowst ... (C-1-4)
    • Everybody Writes To The General  ... (B-1-26)
    • The Macro$haft Principle  ... (B-1-27)
    • The Balti Falcon ... (B-0-15)
    • The Malty Maltese Multiplex Mystery ... (B-0-23)

    Other books (also from later posts in this thread, or from random squalls) that probably don't contain 'stories', but sound quite interesting:

    • The Big Book Of Random Numbers
    • The Look It Up Book Of Sandwiches
    • Fish Slapping Made Easy (by M.P.F.Sirkus) The Fish Slapping Knight ... (B-1-1)
    • The Culinary Delights Of Spiced Ham (by M.Python)
    • The Jolly Good Read Guide
    • Renaissance Overlord's Weekly
    • Scathing Reviews by Bradley Spudgeon
    • The Connoisseurs Book Of Insults
    • Gentlemans Relish/The "Gentleman's Delight" ... (C-1-18) ...(a series of top-shelf leatherbound publications for a Gentleman's Club, with double-entendre titles. I have a marvellous title for the one about  hats... if you want to go there see the notes about Cocklaurel's hat and work it out for yourself. But you have been warned !  )
    • On Cod Philosophy And Halibut Morality
    • π    ...(pages and pages of digits? Not related to the movie - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138704/ )

    Further additional extra extra titles on temporary loan to this thread:

    • Dumpster Diving Delicacies by Chef Pork-Out
    • Curdled Cuisine by Chef Pork-Out
    • Moldy Morselsby Chef Pork-Out
    • Roadkill Rewards! by Chef Pork-Out

    {first edit to the post began here}

    I think I can hear the "...whooooosh!" of tumble weed rolling past ? No matter. I'll just add some stupid pictures (and even more stupid words) to this post. Doing that doesn't even bump the thread.

    (No prizes for guessing what story titles I was really doodling with when I did the renders)

     

    Hammurabi's Vimmana

    (This pig's name is Ham-murabi. 'Vimmana' is a  Piggy word meaning 'a request'. Ham Murabi also happens to be a ninja-pig)

     

    The Atomic Aubergine

    This one's too complicated to explain. It's probably got something to do with radioactivity-induced vegetable mutation into lumps of rock...

    .

     

    "Alas!" Cried The Opossum

    It was snowing a lot, almost a total whiteout, and opossums don't like snow. Especially when it causes their nuclear powered underpants to break down.

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    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • luci45luci45 Posts: 2,338

    Awesome! I'm a bit overly involved with the so-called real world right now. But I will find time to get a silly render in hopefully. I love these!

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 2018

    Me too (i.e. as in "I love these too". Not as in "I'm overly involved with the 'real' world too") - I'm still not sure which title is my favourite. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with. smiley

    (Interesting* aside: Believe it or not this was inspired by a book I read many, many years ago - Stanislaw Lem's "A Perfect Vacuum". I think the review of Gigamesh was my favourite...)

    *For those who find it interesting. If you don't, then it won't be.

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 2018

    Well, no renders of any story titles yet (apart from me messing about in the second post).

    Not to worry.

    I've been sidetracked from the sidetrack I'd previously been sidetracked to anyway, and I've been playing around modeling bookshelf contents*. I found that I needed some book spines, so I decided to play with the titles I gave in the OP here...

    Doesn't that make you want to pick them up and read them,eh?

    ... or even render a cover ? cheeky

    I think this is a much more entertaining idea than just photographing real books !

    (P.S. Yes, I know that the width:height ratio of these spines probably means that these books are rather thin paperbacks, but like I said - I'm just playing at the moment. I actually had a lot of fun doing these. The reason some of text is still just black is that stupid fun does have its limit,and I got bored. Anyway, how about a Pointless Prizeless Sub-Challenge ? Can you spot which of my gallery/thread pictures I've used on the spines ?)

    Edit: Posted a very simple 2048x2048 texture based on this to the freebie forum - (N.B. Texture ONLY At Present) Books To Populate All Those Empty Virtual Bookshelves The whole morphing row of books is now linked from that (now slightly retitled) thread "Books To Populate All Those Empty Virtual Bookshelves (Poser Prop PP2 - DAZ Studio Compatible!)"  . Here's the texture map I created, which was basically duplicating the 17 book spines in this post a couple of times:

    *No, not as in prancing up and down a catwalk in some bizarre designer biblio-attire !

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    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 575

    I'm new here, so bear with me.  Can anyone post renders, or you're just having a bit of fun?

    The possum idea sounds like it could be funny.  And a talking pig + the word 'possum' = pig latin?

    "Non possum credere me opossum edisse.  Fallaces sunt rerum species.  Te cogitere cunniculus chocolate!"

    (I cannot believe I ate a possum.  The appearances of things are deceptive.  I thought it was a chocolate bunny!)

    On that feeble attempt at humor and terrible latin, I'd better return to lurking! 

    Best wishes tho.  Will be keeping an eye on this topic. :-)

    --Bruce

     

     

     

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 2018
    Tynkere said:

    I'm new here, so bear with me.  Can anyone post renders, or you're just having a bit of fun? ...

    The more the merrier ! Anyone can post renders on this (and any other) Pointless Prizeless Challenge thread. Ideally the pictures should be at least vaguely related to the theme of the thread. And you've probably realized that the main focus is the sort of 'humour' that makes ordinary sensible grown up people go... "Whaaaat?"

    And yes, I'm having a lot of fun - regardless of whether or not anybody else joins in !

    Tynkere said:
    ...The possum idea sounds like it could be funny.  And a talking pig + the word 'possum' = pig latin?

    "Non possum credere me opossum edisse.  Fallaces sunt rerum species.  Te cogitere cunniculus chocolate!"

    (I cannot believe I ate a possum.  The appearances of things are deceptive.  I thought it was a chocolate bunny!) ...

    Ah, so it's a pig latin* duel then ! My best shot would be "Caesar adsum iam forte. Pompey aderat." (Molesworth, Down wiv skool! - iirc?)

    Tynkere said:
    ...On that feeble attempt at humor and terrible latin, I'd better return to lurking! ...

    Ah! But once you've unlurked your Klingon lurking device will never work properly again ! Didn't you read the manual ?

    Tynkere said:
    Best wishes tho.  Will be keeping an eye on this topic. :-)

    --Bruce

    Thanks ! I hope you like watching tumbleweed rolling past ! laugh

     

    Edit: Just been browsing through one of my other threads and found a couple of fairytale-ish titles. Also the Brothers Grimm gave me an idea:

    • Crapunzel: The Princess And The Pee ...by Groucho Grim
    • Little Snow White Riding Hood Goes To Grannys On A Wednesday ...by Harpo Grim
    • Pinnochia In Toyland ...by Chico Grim

    The second and third of those already have published storylines.

     

    Edit2: I'm reserving this space for some more stupid titles that I may think up.  I'll add them here whenever I feel so inclined:

    • The Spoons Of Doom

    There now follow some vaguely half-formed ideas,wordplays,puns,wotsits,etc that are not yet ready for fully-fledged titledom:

    • Death Knell/Nell, Death Rattle ? Death Nell And The Rattle Of Hades ?
    • Obidiah My Darling Clementine ?
    • Reaper Grim

     

    *I actually had no idea what pig latin was - I had a vague picture in my head of senators snuffling for truffles on Circe's island. However, Google just told me that I was actually thinking of cod latin. But what does Google know? It was actually halibut Latin, with a soupçon of mackerel...

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 575

    Heh.  Well not really pig Latin, and not sure about ‘scholarly’ Latin either.  Been decades since they inflicted it on hapless undergrads.  

    Surprising (or maybe not) that no one makes a 3D possum model.  A shame.  Would’ve been fun going nostalgic with ‘Possible Possum’ and 'Porky Pig.’   Did find a couple of related props tho....

    Hopefully can post something in next day or so.  Whether it’s *funny* or not...  Have to see I guess. ;-)

    Best

    --Bruce

  • IceDragonArtIceDragonArt Posts: 12,464

    No idea how I missed these.  I don't know if I will be able to get anything done but I'm definitely intrigued!

  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 575
    edited December 2018

    Hopefully this is playing the game as intended.  If not will just edit

    "Alas!"  Cried the possum.  "I should not have tried answering the old question-- why did the chicken cross the road.  Now I fear I have met my end as roadkill.  Dolor oh so dolorous!"

    Meanwhile on the Cooking Channel...


    Hello!  Chef Pork-Out here and welcome to my show!  Check out my books-- Dumpster Diving Delicacies, Curdled Cuisine, and Moldy Morsels.   

    But lets get to my latest book-- Roadkill Rewards!    Folks, how much free food is left out there on our highways?  Tons!  

    But is it safe?  Here at Piggin-Out-- we've solved that worry.  Fresh roadkill is in a delicious chemical sludge along with a fantastic collection of orange and green bits that could be anything!  Eating is not only fun, it’s an adventure!

    So until next time, this is Chef-Pork-Out saying, “Food shouldn’t go to waste. It should go to waist!”

    (sponsored by Dow Chemical)

    ---
    Edit: replacing imgur links w/attachments when I can find where I put them... O_o

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492

    No idea how I missed these.  I don't know if I will be able to get anything done but I'm definitely intrigued!

    Don't forget that being 'Prizeless' has the advantage of also being 'Closing-Date-less'... smiley

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 2018
    Tynkere said:

    Hopefully this is playing the game as intended.  If not will just edit

    "Alas!"  Cried the possum.  "I should not have tried answering the old question-- why did the chicken cross the road.  Now I fear I have met my end as roadkill.  Dolor oh so dolorous!"

    Meanwhile on the Cooking Channel...


     

    Hello!  Chef Pork-Out here and welcome to my show!  Check out my books-- Dumpster Diving Delicacies, Curdled Cuisine, and Moldy Morsels.   

    But lets get to my latest book-- Roadkill Rewards!    Folks, how much free food is left out there on our highways?  Tons!  

    But is it safe?  Here at Piggin-Out-- we've solved that worry.  Fresh roadkill is in a delicious chemical sludge along with a fantastic collection of orange and green bits that could be anything!  Eating is not only fun, it’s an adventure!

    So until next time, this is Chef-Pork-Out saying, “Food shouldn’t go to waste. It should go to waist!”

    (sponsored by Dow Chemical)

    yesyesyes Yay! We have a first entry in the Pointless Prizeless challenge! I'd totally forgotten about McGyver's 'Possum Surprise Dinner'!

    (although it's not actually a bookcover it's a perfect render for  "Alas!" Cried The Opossum.. so it's a great and valid entry. And at the moment it's winning this Prizeless challenge)

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 575

    Ah.  Think I understand now.  It's not *completely* pointless.  Book covers so anyone interested can use them as texture files?  Be interesting to see what anyone might do with Lovecraft.  Cthulhu could be lots of fun.  Or not very fun at all...

    Anyway, thanks for having me & good idea to credit freebies like the TV dinner 'possum' prop.

    Fridge, Cabinet and stove courtesy of Ockham's 50s Kitchen

    Best wishes

    --Bruce

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited September 2018

    When I originally started this thread it was totally, 100%, pointless - I just have a really stupid sense of humour and wanted a thread to post stupid book titles... (speaking of which, here's a few more before I forget):

    • The Big Book Of Random Numbers
    • The Doggerel Of Dr Moreau
    • Circe's Piggery
    • The Look It Up Book Of Sandwiches
    • Fish Slapping Made Easy (by M.P.F.Sirkus)
    • The Culinary Delights Of Spiced Ham (by M.Python)
    • The Reticent Extrovert
    • The Sextrovert
    • The Sintrovert
    • The Adventures of Rodin 'Ziggy' Machiavelli
    • The Kiddies Pop-Up Necronomicon
    • Dagon's Dinner Party

    ...and (to post) some of the silly half-baked render ideas that the titles kicked off.

    But then I thought, why not do something more with these stupid book titles? And thus the original 17 titles are now immortalized in a freebie row of books prop, currently only as book spines but,yes, if anybody does a good render of a book cover...

    Edit: over on that other thread I'm playing with various book props, including some single book ones. So using a tentative UV mapping for a 17.5cm x 10.5cm x 1cm paperback (which maps each of the 6 faces separately, with no distortion, and makes (almost) the best use of the available space on a square UV image) I've started creating texture maps using some of my old renders and/or fonts and text effects in GIMP...

     

    (And before anyone corrects me: Yes, I know that 'heavilyer' isn't a real word - but it just seemed such a perfect non-word to use here ! )

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 8

    Master List (part 2) Of Story/Book/Periodical Titles

    Link to part 1 ... Link to part 3

    I've been away from computers for a couple of weeks, but I had a notepad. The type that's made of paper, that you write on with pens or pencils.

    And these stupid book titles insisted on being jotted down.
    The quality of the titles is variable.
    There's a certain stream-of-conciousness-ness to some sequences of titles (they're more or less in thought-up-date chronology).
    And there are a few nods to books, movies, old renders, etc.

    • Googonzola The Gondolier / The Gorgondolier ... (B-0-18)
    • Father Mulligatawny ... (A-1-14)
    • The Fourth Traffic Warden ...(or maybe The Fourth Wise Man) ... (B-0-9)
    • Planet Of The Canapés ... (B-0-26)
    • The Malignant Mullet ... (A-1-20)
    • Earwax ... (B-0-13)
    • T*R*A*S*H ... (B-0-1)
    • The Second Minute ... (B-0-16)
    • The Squanderers ... (B-0-21)
    • The Welly Wangers ... (B-0-17)
    • The Codswallop Factor ... (A-1-10)
    • Scary Prairie Tales ... (B-0-27)
    • The Futon Strangler
    • The Elephant Wrangler
    • The Monkey Wrestler ... (B-0-19)
    • And Other Stories ... (A-1-21)
    • A Novel Novella ... (B-0-0)
    • Scary Tails And Hairy Snails ... (B-0-10)
    • A Wide Tale And A Tall Story ... (A-1-19)
    • Zebedee's Doo Dah ... (B-0-25)
    • The Kiddies Book Of Incantations And Curses ... (B-0-24)
    • The Santa Claus Blackmail Letters ... (B-1-11)
    • A Flatulent Fascist ... (A-1-5)
    • Warren Peace /Warren's Peas ... (C-0-17)
    • Seven Samurai Dwarves ... (B-0-3)
    • Saints Preserve Us - Pickled ... (B-0-14)
    • I've Told You Once ... (B-0-28)
    • Saltpeter The Unstable ... (A-1-8)
    • Pianola For Hire ... (B-0-31)
    • Pecadillo The Peccary's Pecado ... (A-1-6)
    • Chilli Soap ... (B-0-20)
    • The Pope's Biscuits ... (B-0-8)
    • The Bumflies ... (B-0-2)
    • Dead Soles ... (B-0-12)
    • Thus Spake Obidiah ... (B-0-22)
    • Oubliette Gentile Oublietee ... (B-0-5)
    • Auntie Haggis ... (B-0-30)
    • Uncle Yuri's Tractor ... (B-0-11)
    • Koo! ... (A-1-16)
    • Buffalo Wings
    • The Fallable Pope ... (A-1-18)
    • Dogwick Catlow
    • Weirdwulf Weaslewhiskers ... (A-1-13)
    • Rumpelangelo's Masterpiece
    • Lo Fat The Swordsman
    • Testostero The Barbarian
    • Eating People
    • The Bucket Kicker
    • Spud
    • Emasculatimilda ... (A-1-15)
    • Pig In A Pi
    • Sock Thieves ... (A-1-22)
    • Green Ballbearings
    • When The Lights Turn Black
    • The Collected TeachingsOf ...
    • Quantum Electrodynamics For Kids
    • Radioactive Burgers At Sams
    • Gang Of One
    • The Dedd Lee Fore
    • Stewart The Sentient Durian
    • Charlie Satan's Exploding Underpants ... (A-1-25)
    • Dogbiscuit AndThunderflash ... (A-1-24)
    • Da Irie Crusoe ... (A-1-12)
    • The Weevil Dead ... (A-1-3)
    • Night Of The Graboids
    • Hollow Fruit ... (A-1-11)
    • The Unchanging Changeling ... (A-1-2)
    • After The End ... (A-1-0)
    • Aloo Gobi And The Forty Vindaloos ... (A-1-1)
    • The Dimac Master ... (B-1-9)
    • Pettigrew's Trousers ... (A-1-26)
    • Zarathustra Never Sprach Thus ! ... (B-1-17)
    • The Economicron Of The Mad Mammocrat ... (A-1-23)
    • Jousting With Fireflies    /    Jousting With Waffles ?
    • At Dally-Three-Wamprats
    • The Short Stories Of ... ... (A-1-27)
    • Duelling With Bananas ... (A-1-28)
    • The Unlikely Adventures Of Captain Cabbage ... (A-1-29)
    • Tilting At Mirages ... (A-1-30)
    • Albert Ross And The Old Sea Dog ... (A-1-31)
    • Devil's Advocaat ... (A-1-9)
    • Morontopia ... (B-1-10)
    • Stinkfoot The Hobbit ... (B-1-14)
    • The Didgeridoo That Didn't ... (B-1-13)
    • Goat Spiders In The Sky ... (B-1-12)
    • The Fisherman's Friend ... (A-1-7)
    • The Flour Fairies ... (A-1-4)
    • Princess Overbite
    • The Gormful Ones
    • Nosbert's Nyctinasty
    • The Palpitation Of The House Of Escher
    • G.P. 'Doc' McCoy's Shelduck and Spectacleman series
    • Shylock Groans And The Case Of Michael's Missing Toast (by Aardvark Cohen-Boyle)
    • Bitten By A Bittern
    • The Unflateable Pony
    • Noctilucent Nostrils

    From the bookshop sketch ("At Last The 1948 Show" and Monty Python variants) and other sketches (Bunniman Gibbonposture is a possible author):

    • 30 Days In The Samarkand Desert With A Spoon by P.J.Elliot ... (C-1-25)
    • 30 Days In The Samarkand Desert With The Duchess Of Kent by AEJ Elliot OBE
    • 101 Ways To Start A Monsoon by An Indian Gentleman
    • 101 Ways To Start A Fight by An Irish Gentleman ... (C-1-26)
    • David Coperfield by  Edmund Wells ... (C-1-9)
    • Grate Expectations by  Edmund Wells ... (C-1-12)
    • Knickerless Nickleby by  Edmund Wells ... (C-1-17)
    • A Christmas Qarol by  Edmund Wells ... (C-1-22)
    • A Christmas Karol by  Edmund Wells
    • A Sale Of Two Titties by  Edmund Wells ... (C-1-24)
    • Rarnaby Budge by Charles Dikkens ... (C-1-31)
    • Carnaby Fudge by  Darles Chickens ... (C-1-10)
    • Farnborough Sludge by Marles Wickens ... (C-1-20)
    • Stickwick Staplersby  Farles Qwickenmmmms ... (C-1-28)
    • The Amazing Adventures Of Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet And Her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Among The Giant Pymgies Of Corsica (Vol 2)
    • The Amazing Adventures Of Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet And Her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Among The Giant Pymgies Of Beccles (Vol 8)
    • Olsen's Standard Book Of British Birds (Expurgated)
    • Biggles Combs His Hair ... (C-1-15)
    • The Gospel According To Charlie Drake
    • Tarzan Shrivels Up ... (C-1-14)
    • Ethel The Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying ... (C-1-21)

    From other "At Last The 1948 Show" and Monty Python sketches:

    • An Illustrated History Of False Teeth ... by Bunniman Gibbonposture ? ... (C-1-30)
    • How To Recognize Different Types Of Tree From Quite A Long Way Away
    • How Not To Be Seen

    And then of course there are all those jokey book titles, such as:

    • Lumps In The Road by G.G.Dunnit
    • On Yer Bike ! by Isabel Necessary

    And I've also been considering adding a few boxed sets, such as:

    • Yves St. Asimov's "Foundation" series (just the original trilogy):
      • Foundation
      • Foundation And Blusher
      • Second Foundation
    • Frank Driedfruit's "Prune" series:
      • Prune
      • Prune Messiah
      • Children Of Prune
      • God EmperorOf Prune
      • Laxatives Of Prune
    • G.P. 'Doc'McCoy's "Shelduck" series (or E.E. 'Duck' Teal?):
      • The Shelduck Of Space
      • Shelduck Forty Two
      • Shelduck On Valium
      • Shelduck DuQuack
    • ..and his Lensman series:
      • Trifocal
      • First Monocleman
      • Optician Patrol
      • Reactolite Spectacleman
      • Second Stage Spectacleman
      • The Cataract Blaster
      • Children Of The Eyetest

    More...

    • Rastasputin
    • Hell Monkeys Of Tartarartarusus
    • The Brain Mincers Of Lobotomus Prime
    • Frank Enstein The Body Builder  ...or perhaps Body Building The Frank Enstein Way ?
    • The Curious Adventures Of Fanny Junket  ...maybe Fanny Junket, Lady Adventurer
    • The Bimblewimbul
    • The Flying Snails Of Benydryl 6
    • The Benydryl Pharmas
    • The Sawdust Factory
    • Suki AndThe Bimbots
    • Trowel And Error
    • Farmer Geddon And The Four Pigs Of The Apocalypse
    • The Peripatetic Peregrination Of Parsifal Peridot
    • Have You Scorched The Ostlers ?
    • Nurk McGurk And The Lurking Jerk With The Quirky Dirk
    • NosferR2D2
    • Hot Vinegar
    • Spode The Toad
    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited October 8

    And a separate post for two that might not pass muster with the mods/admins, because they might sound a bit rude.
    They're not, but they could be. It all depends on how your mind works...

    • Captain Knobjelly's Inflatable Blowfish ... (B-1-16)     ...(I just thought the name was amusingly silly, not rude, so I combined it with a title I already had "The Inflatable Blowfish")
    • Dildano And The Razor Dolls ... (B-1-15)    ...(Two simple references to the classic camp 60s sci-fimovie, "Barbarella")

    A few more titles that might sound rude, but to my mind are just amusingly bizarre:

    • The Scr*t*m Walkers ... (A-1-17)  ...(vowels omitted to protect the stupid)
    • The Spunky Spelunker  ...perfectly fine for American readers, but schoolboy sniggers from English readers

    Edit to the edit: just in case this post does get deleted I've moved the non-controversial titles that I added. They're now in the post above.

     

     

     

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • DiomedeDiomede Posts: 11,437
    edited December 2018

    Hopefully this counts as at least vaguely related to the theme. It is an old render (last July) if that is OK.  Love fake covers.

    Post edited by Diomede on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 11

    Hopefully this counts as at least vaguely related to the theme. It is an old render (last July) if that is OK.  Love fake covers.

    yes Indeed it does ! yes

    (Tomato Boy reminds me of those classic Killer Tomatoes movies!*)

    *I'd forgotten that a young George Clooney wasin them !

     

    Master List (part 3) Of Story/Book/Periodical Titles

    Link to part 1 | Link to part 2

    Something in a more classic literary vein perhaps ?

    Here's afew from karina over on the SM forum:

    • War And A Piece   … ... (C-1-8)
    • Kashka Karinina ... (C-0-31)
    • Eradication ... (C-0-25)
    • Have debts and get away with it   … ... (C-0-11)
    • The Sisters Kamikazov ... (C-0-18)
    • Tara's Bulb (A History of Light)   ...N.Cobol ... (C-0-16)
    • The Newish Prospect ... (C-1-5)
    • The Trenchcoat ... (C-0-28)
    • The "LAZ-695M" Coach ... (C-1-3)
    • Ivan F. Bonkers and his Uncle ... (C-0-22)
    • Old Fashioned Farming ... (C-1-1)
    • The Afternoon of a Busy Woman ... (C-1-7)
    • The Night Before New Year's Eve ... (C-0-20)
    • A Little Vengeance ... (C-1-0)
    • The Ferry of Choroshoska ... (C-0-9)
    • April Day, or the Unsinkable Babushka ... (C-0-13)
    • The Noose ... (C-0-5)
    • Diary of a Perfectly Sane Man ... (C-0-26)
    • The Letter That Never Was ... (C-0-7)
    • The Censor ... (C-1-6)
    • Dead Souls
    • Evenings at the Village Of Proni (a collection containing the above)   

    And a few from anomalaus over on the SM Poser forum::

    • The Bedstead Men ... (C-1-29)
    • Of Boot and Sock ... (C-1-11)
    • Watch the Wall, My Darling ... (C-1-23)
    • The Best of Flounder and Swine ... (C-1-19)
    • The Cable Man Cometh ... (C-1-13)
    • With Drogue and Snood: Trolling Matters ... (C-1-16)

    A few more from karina:

    • Cholodniy Depressiya ... (C-0-0)
    • Kaffka ... (C-0-19)
    • Flourishing Foliage ... (C-0-1)
    • The Goulash Archipelago (101 Hungarian Recipies) ... (C-0-2)

    ... by Etcher Allen Poo:

    • A Narrative of A.G.Plum of Martha's Vineyard
    • Mr. Pit and his Pendulum
    • The Cask of old Sherry
    • The Chatty Heart
    • The Morgue in the Rue Meurtrier
    • The Post-Mortem Burial
    • The Restituded Letter
    • The White Mouse
    • This Fall, in the House Of Asher

    Some more from karina:

    • Albert Campus - Le bien connu
    • Alexandre du Masse - La Comtesse de Valle Diablo ... (C-0-10)
    • Alexandre du Masse - Les Deux Magots
    • Alexandre du Masse - La Dame aux Chameaux
    • Antoine le Saint Exaspèré - La grande Princesse
    • Charles Beau de l'Air - Les pleurs des mauvais
    • Edmond Croissant - Cyrano le Perpignac ... (C-0-12)
    • E. Mille Zola - Le Hors d'Oeuvre
    • Thérèse d'Aquin ... (C-0-4)
    • France Sagane - Au revoir gaieté
    • Guide Malpassant - Belle Pépée ... (C-0-14)
    • Honoré de Zalbac - Le Cousin Bête
    • Honoré de Zalbac - Pierre Loriot
    • Hugo Victoire - Les Joieux
    • Hugo Victoire - Le Beau de Sacré-Coeur
    • Hugo Victoire - Le premier jour d'un amnistié
    • Mme. de Vieuxville - La balle dans la tête
    • Marcel Prout - A la recherche du temps gagné
    • Moulinière - Tartuffo (Mes meilleures recettes du dessert Italien)
    • Donna Juanita ... (C-0-6)
    • Pierre Canaille - Le Cidre (Comment devenir ivre quand même?)
    • Pierre Canaille - Maman!!!
    • Verner Jules - Vingt millimêtres sous les mers
    • Verner Jules - Le tour du monde en vingt-quatre heures
    • Volontaire - Candidat, ou: Le Pessimisme
    • Bill Shakenpears - "Hamlet: A history of small settlements in Britain"? ... (C-0-15)
    • Goethe's "Doctor Fisticuffs"  ... (C-0-3)
    • Robert Wagner's "Donausilber"

    And a few I came up with myself:

    • Westhanger Kebab Shop ... (C-0-8)
    • The Cat,The Wizard, And The Cupboard ... (C-0-21)
    • Adobe Mick ... (C-0-23)
    • Easthanger Pizza Takeaway ... (C-0-24)
    • Southanger All Night Convenience Store ... (C-0-27)
    • Terence The White ... (C-0-29)
    • Donkey Saute ... (C-0-30)
    • The Magic Mushroom ... (C-1-2)
    • The Saucepanmakers Apprentice ... (C-1-27)

    And, reverting the the non-classics, a few more that I've recently (15th Aug 2019 onwards) thunk up:

    • Honey Badger And The Secret Agent     ...(Honey Beaver may be more in keeping with the Mr Bond theme?)
    • The Flugelhorn Of Wrath     ...(this "Brass Emotions" series has a lot of promise...)
    • The Cornet Of Petulance     ...(see, I told you!)
    • I Was An Evolutionary Dead End
    • Eating Anchovies On A Tuesday
    • The Impecunious Rabbit (or Aardvark? Or something else?)
    • Divide And Conquer (How To Destabilize Democracies)     ...by Mark E Avelly (of course)
    • Where Have All The Statesmen Gone ?
    • The Sorcerer Of Worcestershire   ...Tom Artow The Saucerer
    • The Misadventures Of Tampon The Chihuahua   ...Enchilada? Pekinese ?
    • Cockrot The Necromancer ...hes already gone on to appear elsewhere
    • Phyllis The Sylph And The Plague Faeries
    • Schrödinger's Dog, Pavlov's Cat, And Escher's Monkey   ...Squirrel ? Dung Beetle ?
    • A Town Called Fred  ...Phalice ?
    • The Wereman In The Wolfpack / The Wereman In Black
    • Parsifal's Picnic
    • The Selphish Sylf
    • Myriad The Minotaurs  ...Legion The Lycanthropes ? Plethora The Plesiosaurs ?
    • Battle Babes Of The Friggan Empire     ...better than "Battle Boys Of The Trigan Empire" I think ?
    • Battle Bert And The Beetle Bots
    • Charlotte Gherkin
    • Where Have All The Wombats Gone ?
    • Terrible Tommy Tingle \
    • Rocinante's Pajamas
    • Fred Ptolemy And The Archivists Of Ur
    • Fred Quaternion And The Gimbal Unlockers
    • Fashion Faux Pas by Pierre Cardigan
    • Fashion Faux Pas De Deuxby Adolf Nureyev + Maggie Fountain
    • Time For Repentance ! by Penny Tansy Agitee
    • Volotny And The Void ...intriguing - theres a distinct Stanislaw Lem-ness to that
    • The Binbags Of Disorder
    • The Sausage factory/Machine
    • Diocletians Diet
    • In Flagrante Derelicto
    • The Wizard Of Odd
    • The Ocelot, The Warlock, And The Cabinet
    • The Selfish Elfish Shellfish Seller
    • The Fragrant Gherkin
    • Quando The Teller, In Triplicate Quando The Triple Teller
    • TheBimbos Of Infinity
    • The Buttocks Of Doom
    • Eff And Effability
    • The Pantry Thieves ...(or perhaps The Pantie Demon)
    • Dogflash And Thunderbiscuit ...(a jiggle of a previous title)
    • Thunderbiscuit The Devastator
    • Wondermuffin The Unlikely
    • Gobsmack And Thunderbuttocks ...(thighs?)
    • Forkbunny The Preposterous
    • Timbuctoodle-oo
    • Fannypack The Peculiar
    • The Impecunious Sporran
    • A Simple Wimple
    • The Door Hunter
    • Auntie Pasti And The Unsavoury Bruschetta
    • The Outside In, Downside Up, Front To Back Looking Glass
    • The Mirror Crapp'd From Front To Back
    • Stinkerella
    • something by Stefan Onsenz
    • The Mornington Crescent Rulebook (Abridged Version) - Volume 7
    • The Adventures Of Terry Yaki
    • Pork ! (Being The Tale Of Cheeseburger, Bourbon The Pig, and Francis Bacon)
    • The Lunatics HaveTaken Over The Asylum - A Short History Of The Internet
    • The Problem With Gravity
    • The Simpering Prunes
    • The Squamous Sasquatch And The Squeamish Squid
    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited 10:15AM

    A new post for 2020 titles because the previous post is getting too scrolly-scrolly of longness. Only 4½ months late

    • Doctor Phlobber And The Curtains Of Despair   ... perhaps Curtains Of Jelly
    • Bimbofish
    • Tiptoe Through The Toadstools     ...Toad Stools... Toad Turds ?
    • On Pigfaggot's Eve
    • Cinderella Psychedella And The Glass Kipper
    • Yoda Carbuncle Of The Seventh Declension
    • Tabasco Jones And The Chillinauts
    • The Eclectic Electric Dialectic
    • The Tank Of Hooba
    • The Grimoire Arcanus Of Madmagus The Mad Magus
    • Fluttockworth And Floopjelly
    • The Lord High ##### Of Peng   ...or possibly The Grand ##### Of Kwan ? A ##### is a very high-ranking official in Peng/Kwan. Dodos are a lower rank... with smaller hats. Doodahs and Dumbbells are also lesser ranks. All the ranks are amusing words beginning with D. For those who need a clue, ##### is an auto-entertainment device...
    • The Pixie Dancers Of Ping    ...perhaps The GoatDancers Of Broo ?
    • The Goblin Ballerina
    • Mucus Stonebonker
    • The Embiggenment Of Terry Todger
    • Ghoulash The Gobbler   ...not sure whether the extra h works...
    • László's Liquefaction
    • Mudmouth  ...possibly Mudpuppet ?
    • Poopmonkey
    • The Squamous Cyclopean Eldritch Horror Thing
    • The Squamadillo
    • Dropkick The Monkey
    • A Bonobo Called Spank
    • The Dogstink Conundrum
    • Ichabod The Eucrotic
    • Biscuitwitch   ...or perhaps Witchbiscuit ?
    • Poopdangle The Fairy ....Danglepoop ? Floopdangle The Fair ?
    • Hairy Mary The Scary Fairy   ...Scary Mary The Hairy Fairy ?
    • Plopgiblet The Wise And Poopjunket The Insane
    • Glumhilde Fluffmonkey  ...pronounced Gloomhilda obviously
    • Jenny And The Fwops
    • The Autosomnabulations Of Algernon Abergavenny
    • Boomtrousers
    • Tarka The Dahl ... by Roald Otter of course
    • Zen Ben's Dharma Pajamas
    • Ego ... by Hugh Briss
    • Shangorilla-La
    • The Shining Omen ...by Nick Jackalson
    • A Girl, A Pig, And A Bun ... by Ellie Van Kleef
    • Alacritous Jones
    • Stinkompoop ...perhaps Stinkpamphlet ? No Stashpamphlet seems better
    • Mantovani's Molecular Disenfranchiser
    • The Noodle Collector
    • The Eigenvector Of Delusion ...sorry, I'm mixing up Eddy And The Eigenvectors and The Ophicleide Of Delusion. An easy mistake since the stories are quite similar
    • Eddy And The Eigenvectors
    • The Ophicleide Of Delusion
    • Kidneypunch The Goldfish ...I imagine a critic's comment "I read the book three times, but still have no idea why it's called "Kidneypunch The Goldfish"
    • Decadent Dan
    • The Gibbous Gibbon Of Gabon
    • Knot The Inkling ...or Knot, An Inkling
    • Helles Belles ... or maybe Helgas Bells
    • The Squidgerydoo Blower
    • Stinkwitch Of Poodletown
    • The Bugle Of Catharsis
    • The French Horn Of Desire ...or Lust ? Errr, I'm losing track of this Brass series. Haven't we have the Something-Or-Other Of Lust already ?
    • Femme Brûlée
    • Cathy Olé
    • Farqhwit Farqharson
    • The Night Of The Noctonasty ...or The Knight Of The Nyctinasty ?
    • The Kazoo Of Duplicity
    • Blunderpants
    • Terry Tingle's Terrible Trouble
    • Polly Chromatic And The Amazing Technicolour Camiknickers
    • The Sousaphone Of Perjory
    • Strunk
    • Poogle
    • Plop !
    • Rogue Pogue ...Drogue ? Brogue ?
    • Poohbah Doodah
    • The Necrosamiamicon
    • The Cat In The Hat, The Pig In The Wig, The Alpaca In The Refrigerator, And Other Stories     ...other stories included in the collection are The Dog In The Bog, The Gnu In The Restroom,...
    • The Adventures Of Asset The Mule
    • Happyglottis And The Steam Pumpkin
    • Happyglottis And The Umami
    • Fruitzilla
    • Where Pigeons Quail
    • Tristan Grunt
    • Betty The Yeti
    • Happyglottis And The Haggis Of The McBastardvilles   ...I get the impression that Happyglottis is a sort of cordon bleu Carnacki...
    • Plaema     ...don't ask me, I don't have a clue
    • Dr Deadly's Dirigible
    • Thunderpants
    • Fairy Plumpkin
    • On The Good Ship Gondwana   ...(Gono... ?)
    • Agatha Bagatha And The Case Of The Case Of Casebooks
    • Juno Who ?
    • Chilly Chile Chilli Chinchilla Chow
    • The Solitary Somnabulist Unicycler
    • Green Loaves And Fishes ... by Jesus Seuss (pronounced 'hay-soos soos')
    • Catsputin
    • The Sesquipedalophobe And The Floccinaucinihilipilificator
    • The Pianomaker's Accomplice
    • Wally Winka And The Meat Factory     ...Soylent Factory ?
    • Wonky Willy And The Gobstopper Factory   
    • Dr Fallopian's Exploding Bicycle
    • Floopjelly And Dingo
    • Cheese Thieves
    • Cheese Muppets
    • Life Without Cheese ...or Toast ?
    • Greeblechild
    • Dunklemas Eve   ...or Donkeymas ?
    • Idlevice
    • Curlicues And Pearlykings
    • Kick In The Goulash  ...or in the Greensleeves?
    • Gordon's Gonfalon
    • The Flying Snails Of Benedryl IV  ...I have a feeling we've had that one, or something very similar,  already ?
    • Purity Pump And The Sky Kraken   ...Purity being a steampunk adventuress, along similar lines to Fanny Junket, Matilda Gusset, Barnstormley Crumphole, Archie Boomwangler, Dagobert Winkelsnoof, Jock Thruster, Polly Strumpet, Ample Juggs, Fanny McGusset, etc...
    • Kung Fu Pants
    • Gardening For The Clergy ...by Abbot and Compostello
    • The Despicable Ant
    • Boomwacker Choughmuffin And The Spoonbenders Of Spong
    • Spoff The Prodigious
    • Taramasalata The Tumescent ...or Turgid ? or Turbid ?
       
    Post edited by 3dcheapskate at
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited November 12

    I'm beginning to get a bit muddled up - which books from the "Brass Emotions" series have I already listed ? So I've had a dig through my book collection (as listed above) to pick them out. Here they are:

    • The Euphonium Of Derision
    • The Tuba Of Lust
    • The Flugelhorn Of Wrath
    • The Cornet Of Petulance
    • The Ophicleide Of Delusion
    • The Bugle Of Catharsis
    • The French Horn Of Desire
    • The Kazoo Of Duplicity

    But I'm fairly sure that the original edition of the full set from the Brass Monkeys publishing house, ten books in total I think, didn't include the Cornet Of Petulance and The Bugle Of Catharsis. I believe that those were later additions to the Brass mythos by other writers in the genre.

    Edit: as you'll see from a later addition to the previous post, I found a copy of one of the missing books in an old, dusty, cobwebby, antiquarian bookshop. Not that it's an antiquarian book - it's just that the owner was reading it.

    • The Sousaphone Of Perjory

    So that's seven out of the original ten, plus two of the later additions*. I'm now trying to recollect what order the books were in. Also, I vaguely remember that it was never officially known as the "Brass Emotions" series - I think that was just a term that readers started using, based on the publisher and what the book titles had in common.

     

    Edit: Wasn't there on called "The somethinthing-or-other Of Indignation" ?

    Another Edit: While meandering through the interweb I discovered four more instruments - Sackbut, Cimbasso, Buccin and Superbone. However, I don't recall any of those being the instrument of Indignation, although I may be wrong. Sackbut rings a bell, but none of the other three do. And I can't recall what "The Sackbut" was "Of ...". But I do very vaguely recall "The Post Horn Of Secrecy" , although maybe I'm getting mixed up with Thomas Pynchon... frown

    Does anybody else remember the recurring guitar-playing, coffin dragging, soprano character by the name of Django Rheinmaiden ?

     

    *I keep thinking that there's an "...Ocarina Of..." book in the series, but I think I'm getting mixed up with Robert Rankin... wink

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • GordigGordig Posts: 3,443
    edited August 16

    Belly Button Lint is a Character Flaw

    There's No Running From Regina King

    Nobody Wants Your Butt

    Mushrooms Are Rude

    Mushrooms Are Rude_comp.png
    3200 x 3200 - 7M
    Post edited by Gordig on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 19

    Excellent ! yes

    And I see that you've remembered something that I seem to have forgotten (at least since this time last year) - the thread title starts "Render A...", indicating that this thread is intended to include pictures,

    Also, since this is a Pointless Prizeless challenge,  you have been awarded 4 Pointless Non-Points (one for each picture/title combination) for your sterling work.

    And, retrospectively, one Pointless Non-Point has been awarded to Diomede_Carrara and one Pointless Non-Point to Tynkere. Including interest accrued due to late awardment (awardation?) that puts Tynkere on 1.036 Pointless Non-Points and Diomede_Carrara on 1.018 Pointless Non-Points. 

    So Gordig is now way out in front !

    This is so exciting ! ! laugh

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited September 5

    * Watches tumbleweed roll past *

    * Watches paint drying *

    * Watches grass growing *

    * Watches daytime TV * ... errrrr - that would be a step too far...

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • Sven DullahSven Dullah Posts: 5,407
     

    This is so exciting ! ! laugh

    It is!!blush

    (Non-)Question: Do you earn Pointless Non-points for Non-viewing this thread?

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited August 22
     

    This is so exciting ! ! laugh

    It is!!blush

    (Non-)Question: Do you earn Pointless Non-points for Non-viewing this thread?

    Thanks for not asking.
    Unfortunately not.
    Pointless Non-Points™©☠ are reserved exclusively for those people who post pictures.
    (And since the accrued interest rules for the retrospective Awardation™©☠ of Pointless Non-Points™©☠ are rather complex, they have not been applied to any of the other Pointless Prizeless Challenges. Just this one.)

    However, the panel (don't worry, there's not a single serious gamer or criticizer general among them) have suggested that they could institute the Awardment™©☠ of new-fangled Pointy Points™©☠ to people for Non-viewing this thread...

    But from the evil grins on their faces, and their devious glances at the weapons rack in the corner*... I really don't think anyone wants to receive Pointy Points from the panel** !

     

    *Pretend that I posted a picture of that here. My content library and artistic skills can't keep up with what's in my mind's eye. Hmmm... perhaps a "Render an image of the panel looking deviously at the weapons rack in the corner with evil grins on their faces" challenge ?

    **Look at the picture - you see what  I mean ?

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,492
    edited November 8

    Great story Gordig - and who can forget the sequel, "The Goat That Punched Back" laugh

    ... or the sequel to the sequel, "The Oriental Goat-Boxer"

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
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