Pointless Prizeless Challenge #87: Render A Ridiculous RPG Character

3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
edited November 2020 in Art Studio

(Pointless Prizeless Challenge Index | Next challenge: Pointless Prizeless Challenge #53: Using 3D models in unusual ways (stop giggling at the back!) )

Note: a lot of this thread probably won't make much sense unless you've been following since the thread started, because the panel of serious gamers and the were-Squeakums have been messing with the posts...

A word to the wise: If you're totally confused by all the rubbish I'm talking in this thread, here's the simple version. The challenge is simply to do a render of a ridiculous RPG (Role-Playing Game) character. You can either make up your own name for a character, or choose one of the official names in this thread, and then render a character to match the chosen name. You can include as much/little detail about the character as you want when you post the render, but you MUST include the character's name (and the name MUST be ridiculous). Either the character's appearance or something in the characters back-story (or both) must be ridiculous too. So you can render a sensible-looking character if you put something ridiculous in the back-story. If you've just got an idea for a ridiculous name and would like to see what other people do with it then that's fine, you don't need to post a render - just the name (and some character details if you want) will do.

Any RPG related renders, pictures, or conversation are also fine, but silly stuff is preferred over serious stuff !

*** Warning: The Panel Of Serious Gamers are liable to make stupid comments about any render you post here***

As a quick taster here are the four entries so far (clicking on an image takes you to the post containing that entry - nice to see that displaying the images in a row here works seemlessly)...

    .

"What's the point of a challenge without prizes?" I hear you ask. Well...there isn't any, which is why I said it's pointless ! But looking on the bright side, without prizes there are are no losers - so everybody's a winner !
(of course you could argue that without prizes there are no winners so everybody's a loser, but that would make you a pointless nihilistic pessimist, so yah boo sucks to you! )

 

So without further ado (or adon't if you're that way inclined) it's on to the challenge.

 

Did (or do) you ever play one of those tabletop Role-Playing Games (RPGs to the cognoscenti) such as D&D™©☠, T&T, M&Ms, GURPS, RQ, CoC (we/they/you surely loved acronyms didn't us?), etc?

Were (or are) you one of those individuals who, when you sit down for the start of a new adventure, can see that look in the eyes of your fellow gamers ? You know, that "You're not going to spoil this adventure by having a stupid character again are you ?" look ?

If you are then this challenge could be for you. (If you're not you might still want to have a go.Even if you know nothing about RPGs and couldn't tell a gelatinous D12 from a mimic masquerading as a D20.)

~~~~~

I'll start with a little bit of background to the challenge. Last month's(September 2017's) freebie challenge inspired me to do an RPG themed render and the first thing I did was to create a traditional (at least (or more accurately, only) in terms of character class) D&D™©☠ party comprising consisting of with a cleric (Gotterdammerung Battletank), a magic user (Pussywillow), a thief (Dilbo Daggins), and a fighter (Cybersonja).

The names really came first*, and the characters themselves just seemed to develop from these names.

So the idea of this challenge is to render an RPG character who is your interpretation of one of the names given later in this thread. You can render the character either as an individual model on a base (like each of my four above), as a character in a scene (with or without model bases), or in whatever other setup you can imagine.

To help you here's a summary of the official names so far (no guarantee that it'll be kept up-to date though):

  • Gotterdammerung Battletank
  • Pussywillow
  • Cybersonja
  • Dilbo Daggins
  • Penitenziagite Thwackmallet
  • Torquey Mulder Tounguetwister
  • Grizhelda Gray-Grackles
  • Sir Smuggly Smuggins
  • Weirdwulf Weaslewhiskers (or any of the alternatives from the associated stream of conciousness)
  • Nocan Dizlectiqus the Bearabrain
  • Sir Fartsalot

The next few posts will contain a few names to get you started, including the four characters already noted (yes, feel free to render your versions of those names).

The second part of this challenge is to come up with your own character names. Post them here in a similar format to my next few posts (i.e. typing "Name: [Your Ridiculous RPG Character Name]" at the top of your post and applying the 'Heading 1' font style to it (see the screenshot below showing how to apply 'Heading 1 font). By posting a name here you're inviting all and sundry (they'd make a couple of interesting characters...) to render their own personal version of a character with that name. You can give notes on how you think that character should be, but nobody is under any obligation to pay any attention. You can also include a render of your version of the character, but that's not obligatory.

 

Answers to FAQ that nobody's asked yet:

1) No, you're not restricted to fantasy RPGs. You can do Science-Fiction, horror, western, historical, superhero, etc - whatever you like.

2) No, we're not going to be overly strict on the "clerics can only use blunt weapons" rule.

3) I'm using 'Heading 1' format (from the 'Normal' drop-down to the right above the Leave A Comment pane) for the name when I make apost with a new Ridiculous RPG Character name. Using the same format when you post makes it easier for challengees to spot the posts with challenge names. Here's a screenshot:

4) That's a difficult one and it's really a matter of personal opinion, since one person's sensible is another person's ridiculous. So for judgements on ridiculousness (is that a real word?) I turn to my panel of totally imaginary sensible gamers. I look mainly at the expressions on their faces. Personally I think the best names are the ones that, when spoken out loud, provoke an immediate "Oh no, that's such a stupid name!" reaction; but then you can see a look of hope in the serious gamers' eyes ("Ah! I see, that's actually quite clever - this could actually be a good character!"); and then you deliver the coup de grace - you place your lovingly painted ridiculous model on the table, and the serious gamers burst into tears! Double whammy!

5) No, you don't have to stick rigidly to the names exactly as they're given - you can modify them as you wish. This is especially true where a name appears to be gender-specific.

6) Yes, I added that bit specifically to allow myself to post more stupid pictures, and to recycle some of my old ones.

 

*I vaguely recall writing a program in BBC Basic to come up with character names based on the random selection of four words (not necessarily real words) from four predefined lists**, and having hours of fun just generating names. Eddie Izzard's take on 'how they came up with the name Engelbert Humperdinck for Gerry Dorsey' is a good laugh along those lines

 

**Not a novel idea - I'd seen something similar and simply did my own version of it.

If you're wondering how you missed Pointless Prizeless Challenges #1 to #86, well you didn't. It's a ploy- known in advertising circles as "lying". This is actually the first (and probably the only) Pointless Prizeless Challenge.

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Comments

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited April 2020

    Name: Gotterdammerung Battletank

    What sort of a character does this name bring to your mind? Render your own version and post it here.

    My vision of him was as a level 3 dwarven cleric, devoted to the dwarven deity Bongo Bong, the god of bashing things with big hammers.

    However I now think that he should be a lot more Wagnerian, with a lot more armour. Probably female too - I'm thinking Valkyries...

    ...Evil chuckling from the Panel Of Serious Gamers...

    [Second Serious Gamer (whispering)]: "Shhhhh! Rejected ! One down, two more to go..."

    [Third Serious Gamer]: "Don't forget to un-reject Pussywillow though!"

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    Name: Pussywillow

    What sort of a character do you imagine with this name? (Stop giggling at the back of the class!) Let's see a render of your character of this name.

    To me she's a level 4 elven mage with a very small wardrobe. I think she's probably a bit too normal - the looks in the eyes of the other gamers were more the "A lady,eh? With a very small outfit ? I think our party might errr... actually need one of those." type...

    Panel of serious gamers: "Figments of your imagination,eh? We're not sitting on a panel of figments of your imagination! Not again - remember what happened last time... ? Just for that we're going to REJECT her !"

    cheekycheekyno This Pussywillow has been REJECTED as a ridiculous RPG character ! Far too sensible ! nocheekycheeky

    [pause]

    [Second Serious Gamer]: Errrr... why did we do that? Have you forgotten that she's a lady... with a very small wardrobe*. Personally I think she'd be a major benefit to our party. Can't we un-reject her, and reject one of the cheapskate's other characters instead.

    [Third serious gamer]: Yeah, let's un-reject Pussywillow, but let's reject all three of the others.They're stupid. AndI know that Cybersonja's a lady too, but she's a bit too scary for me.

    ...pause while the PanelOf Serious Gamers sneak off and perform their nefarious deed...

    yeskissheartThis Pussywillow has been UN-rejected because the Third Serious Gamer is in love with her! heartkissyes

    [Third Serious Gamer]: Who wrote that! Don't say that !

    *This made me think of The Luggage from Terry Partchett's books, so picture a very small wardrobe with lots of legs running around after her. Don't you just love it when the serious gamers unwittingly give you even more stupid ideas !

     

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited April 2020

    Name: Dilbo Daggins

    I've already warned you once - stop giggling at the back of the class! If I have to warn you a third time it'll be detentions!

    So what sort of a character does this name conjure up for you? Let's see your render.

    My version was a level 1 human thief who thinks he's much smaller and sneakier than he actually is. His wardrobe is actually smaller then Pussywillow's. His brain is also very, very small - that's why he's so happy most of the time.

    ...Evil chuckling from the Panel Of Serious Gamers...

    [Sixth Serious Gamer]: "Rejected ! That'll teach him to mess with us !"

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited April 2020

    Name: Cybersonja

    I was planning on a female barbarian character when I spotted a cyberbabe outfit in my runtime, so the name in this case came last. In my view she's a level 2 human fighter who goes into a beserk rage if Duran Duran (or any other 'New Romantic' band) is played on the radio.

    ...more naughty schoolboy type chuckling...

    [First Serious Gamer]: "And... Rejected ! Mission accomplished!"

    But what do you make of the name ? Show us your renders of your Cybersonja.

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    Name: Penitenziagite Thwackmallet

    This just sounded like a good name for a cleric (or paladin- see mori_mann's comment)...

    Let's see what you come upwith for this name.

    A strangescene just sprang to mind - a be-cassocked priest walking down a street with his hands clasped together but obscured by his sleeves. A goblin walks past and, quick as a flash, the priest pulls a giant mallet from his sleeve, clobbers the goblin, returns the mallet to his sleeve, and quietly mumbles "Bless you my son" - sort of Jim Carrey in The Mask style.

    "Penitenziagite" - read Umberto Eco's Name Of The Rose,watch the movieof the same name with Sean Connery, Christian Slater and Ron Perlman, or google the word.

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited August 2020

    Name: Torquey Mudder Mulder* Tonguetwister

    I like the torque/twist thingy in this name. Probably a cleric Probably not a very nice one, bearing in mind the echo of old Tom in the name. Also brings to mind Grima Wormtongue perhaps ?

    What do you make of this name ? What sort of character can you make for this ?

    *I think that adding an L to the name, which I did by accident in a later post, opens up some intriguing new possibilities... You can still use the old version with the double D if you prefer !

    For some bizarre reason I'm now imagining him as a necromancer-assassin exploring the pages of the Necrosamicon**...

     

    **I discovered later that the book's actually called the Necrosamiamicon...

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • mori_mannmori_mann Posts: 1,150
    edited October 2017

    Name:Penitenziagite Thwackmallet

    This just sounded like a good name for a cleric...

    "Penitenziagite" - read Umberto Eco's Name Of The Rose,watch the movieof the same name with Sean Connery, Christian Slater and Ron Perlman, or google the word.

     

    Cleric? Are you sure you didn't spell paladin wrong? It's just about the right amount of obnixious to be the only (l)awful goody two shoes from a long lineage of.. Thwackmallets. 

    Perhaps I can do something with that..

    And what about..

    Name: Grizhelda Gray-Grackles (the excentric branch of the Clay-Cackles family)

    the thrice widowed witch sorceress? I'm sure she deserves a place here.

    Post edited by mori_mann on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2019

    "Cleric? Are you sure you didn't spell paladin wrong?" - Errrrr... it's a paladindrome!laugh

    The name Thwackmallet does have a certain ring of chaos about it (and by ring I mean sound/feel rather than a metal band around the finger (and by metal band I mean a metal ring rather than Metallica et al)), so a wayward LG son (or daughter) becoming a palindrome paladin sounds good. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

    The name "Grizhelda Gray-Grackles" is certainly provoking disapproving looks from the 'serious' gamers ("She's gonna be a wiiiiiiiiitch*, with a pointy hat and warts! I'm not going down a dungeon with a witch! Not again - remember what happened last time... ?") so yes, she's in! To make it official could you post the name using the same format I'm using just to make it stand out? (Either edit your post or post a new post. I used 'Heading1' from the drop-down entitled 'Normal' at the top of the 'Leave A Comment' pane - I've added a note about how todo that to the OP just in case anyone has trouble). Also you can (if you want) include further details of the character (as you see her) and/or a render. Neither is obligatory. And it's fine to edit your post at a later stage to add more detail or to add a render, or to repost as a new post if you prefer. That's another advantage of a prizeless challenge - nobody has to really keep track of what's going on!

    *I added several more lowercase letter i's to 'witch' because when the serious gamer said it he did a creepy witch impression, making his hands like claws, holding them near his face and wiggling the fingers. I think that comes across better by using'wiiiiiiiiitch' instead of just plain 'witch'

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited February 2019

    I just found an old picture that I posted at Renderosity in 2014 and at RDNA a bit later. Since I removed my gallery from Renderosity, and since RDNA's now gone, I thought I'd post it here...

    Name:Sir Smuggly Smuggins (of the Smuggville Smuggworthys of course)

    The original picture was entitled "How To Subdue A Troll", with a subtitle "Sneak up behind him while the little fellas are keeping him busy !" and the character's name was never mentioned - although I've always thought of him as Smuggly Smuggins - you can probably see why. This is another name that came after the character had been created. The knight had a pose that reminded me of C3PO, and the expression on his face once rendered looked, well, just so smug !

    But if you were creating a character called Sir Smuggly Smuggins what would he look like ? (We should also allow for Dame Smuggly Smuggins I guess ?)

     

    The following script developed through interaction with commenters:

    "Eegad! and Gadzooks! boys, I think this is by far the ugliest troll we've caught this week!"
    [Elf]: "Can I shoot him? Pleeeease."
    [Dwarf]: "Can I whack his foot?"
    [Knight]:"No boys, he's surrendered..."
    TWANG!
    [Troll]:"Owwwww! The dude in the metal suit said not to shoot me!"
    WHACK!
    [Troll]: "Owwwww!"
    ...pause...
    [Elf]: "Sorry, it went off by accident..."
    [Dwarf]: "Errr... same here...."
    ...pause...
    [Dwarf and Elf in unison]: "Can we do it again?"

    Note: This particular ugly troll is the original huntress quarry* - the one who didn't run off to the northern highlands**. Having a touch of the Colin Farrell type good looks about him he fully expected to find himself, in a very male fantasy sort of way, in the clutches of the huntress twins. But he must have taken a wrong turn somewhere...

    (Apparently Tolkien's books were never published in this particular realm...)

    *A reference to a picture "Huntress Twins"posted in various places, including my gallery here - https://www.daz3d.com/gallery/#images/30863

    **A reference to a picture "A Parting Shot" that I posted at ShareCG - http://www.sharecg.com/v/76442/gallery/1/3D-and-2D-Art/A-Parting-Shot

    P.S. I've no idea of the names of Sir Smuggly's (very non-Tolkien / very non-D&D™©☠) elfish and dwarfish companions, but they seem like a bundle of laughs to me. I imagine them with high-pitched squeaky voices, a bit like Pinky and Perky perhaps?

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600

    Does anybody recall a radio programme some time in the 1970s or 1980s (a British one on Radio 4) called "Hordes Of The Things" (nothing to do with the RPG HOTT) ? That had some great character names.

  • IceDragonArtIceDragonArt Posts: 12,468
    edited October 2017

    Good lord how did I miss this thread?  I am going to have to work on this as soon as I get a chance. Its hilarious!  And I am so going ot have to do something with CyberSonja.  I mean, how can I not lol!

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited April 2020

    Wonderful, and thank you ! Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

    So we now have first dibs on two character names:

    For those who aren't familiar with the dibs system*, here's how it will work in the context of this challenge.The person who calls** dibs first on a character name gets the right to do the first render of that character - that's 'first dibs'. After first dibs have been called on a character, the next person to call dibs on that character gets 'second dibs', the next gets 'third dibs', etc. Each 'level of dibbage' has a proscribed time-limit calculated as 24/L hours, where L is the level of dibbage. Thus the person with first dibs has a proscribed time-limit of 24 hours, second dibs has 12 hours, 3rd dibs has 6 hours, etc. A dibee's proscribed time-limit starts counting down when the current dibbage rights of the previous dibbee lapse. Current dibbage rights lapse under three conditions: (1) the dibee with current dibbage rights posts a render of the character for which they have dibs (this is known as fulfilled dibbage); (2) the proscribed time-limit for the dibee with current dibbage rights expires (expired dibbage, obviously);(3) the dibee with current dibbage rights opts to forego their dibs (I can't recall the correct term for this - edit 2Apr2020: it's foregone dibbage of course !).

    If that's too complicated for you then just keep your fingers crossed behind your back (technically known as 'vainites' ). Doing this allows you to totally ignore the dibs system. Use this word if somebody accuses you of usurping their dibs. (But be aware that if there is any disagreement about whether you really had your fingers crossed behind your back when the usurped dibs was called, then the adjudicators may request you to provide a render of the crossed fingers as proof)

     

    On second thoughts a free-for-all sounds simpler than a dibs system ! wink

     

    *I prefer the dibs system over the bagsy system, as the dibs system allows for more flexibility.

    **I know that mori_mann and IceDragonArt didn't actually call dibs on those names, but I only just realized how much simpler and better organized this challenge wouldbe if we used the dibs system. So I've retrospectively called proxy dibs for them, which I'm allowed to do - vainites!

     

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    I noticed that mori_mann has upgraded Grizhelda Gray-Grackles (the excentric branch of the Clay-Cackles family) with a Heading 1 font, which makes that name challenge-ready, so as of now we have eight official names so far for contestants to choose from:

    (1) Gotterdammerung Battletank; (2) Pussywillow; (3) Dilbo Daggins; (4) Cybersonja; (5) PenitenziagiteThwackmallet; (6) Torquey Mudder Tonguetwister; (7) Grizhelda Gray-Grackles; (8) Sir/Dame Smuggley Smuggins

    In the interests of sexual equality male or female variants of each name will be accepted. I've already specified Sir/Dame for (8) to cover this, and some names aren't gender-specific, but you'll have to use your imagination for the rest.

    And I think I have an idea for a Grizhelda Gray-Grackles, so I'll call dibs on that name (even though I've unilaterally decided not to go with the dibs system for this challenge). Just in case.

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • mori_mannmori_mann Posts: 1,150
    edited October 2017

    Penitenziagite Thwackmallet loved his mother even though she cared little for him. His parents worried about their little boy never starting fights or bullying other kids. They were in for a nasty shock when one day, their little Penitenziagite announced that he wanted to make renown as a valiant fighter of good, backed by the wondrous powers of some god or other.

    In their grief, his mother wept, his father broke down one tavern's common room and started a brawl in another - both times succesfully blaming the event on an innocent bystander - but they let their son go. Both to chase his dreams and to have him out of the way so they could pretend to spend more time with his older siblings, Cabbage, Button and Knot, occasionally wondering if giving their youngest such a fancy name simply had gotten to his head.

    Penitenziagite in the meantime, swore he'd smite evil with anything but mallets in honour of his family name. One could hardly kill with his own family's namesake, after all. The rainbow is his favourite colour. Other than that, he's pretty much the average insufferable holier than thou flavour of paladin. 

    Something along those lines anyway ;)

    EDIT:

    I'm sure the Panel of Serious Gamers are in for a little surprise when they discover Penny is not only a metaphorical beacon of light. His rainbow armour happens to glow in the dark.

     

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017
    mori_mann said:

                                            

    Penitenziagite Thwackmallet loved his mother even though she cared little for him. His parents worried about their little boy never starting fights or bullying other kids. They were in for a nasty shock when one day, their little Penitenziagite announced that he wanted to make renown as a valiant fighter of good, backed by the wondrous powers of some god or other.

    In their grief, his mother wept, his father broke down one tavern's common room and started a brawl in another - both times succesfully blaming the event on an innocent bystander - but they let their son go. Both to chase his dreams and to have him out of the way so they could pretend to spend more time with his older siblings, Cabbage, Button and Knot, occasionally wondering if giving their youngest such a fancy name simply had gotten to his head.

    Penitenziagite in the meantime, swore he'd smite evil with anything but mallets in honour of his family name. One could hardly kill with his own family's namesake, after all. The rainbow is his favourite colour. Other than that, he's pretty much the average insufferable holier than thou flavour of paladin. 

    Something along those lines anyway ;)

    And that's the first entry posted! You've taken the name in a completely different direction from anything I'd expected, and I really like the write-up - I had a few good chuckles reading it.

    The render's really nice too - I especially love his "Don't disturb me while I gaze into the distance in a superior, holier-than-thou way and commune with my deity!" expression - so very paladinesque! I'm sure that he must be a terrible disappointment to the rest of the Thwackmallets.

    (edit:I hadn't invented the stamp of approval when I originally wrote this post, so I'm adding it retrospectively)

    yes This Penitenziagite Thwackmallet gets the stamp of approval as a ridiculous RPG character ! yes

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • mori_mannmori_mann Posts: 1,150

    Glad you approve :D I had fun tossing it together.

     

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    My approval isn't really important - it's the disapproval on the faces of the panel of serious gamers that really counts ! At least that's what I thought. But their reaction to your picture showed that there's more than one way to have fun with a ridiculous RPG character:

    • First there was (like myself) a look of disbelief and confusion - "Penitenziagite Thwackmallet? So where's the mallet ?"
    • Next they (and I) noticed the technicolour armour - further bewilderment.
    • Then we read the accompanying text - this is where our reactions diverged. I heard them mutter things like "Good show!" and "Good man!" , and much talk of integrity, honour, and higher purposes. And the looks on their faces were full of... approval ! "Welcome to our humble party, brother Thwackmallet!" one of the serious gamers said, extending both arms in a welcoming gesture.

    So you get to play a ridiculous RPG character and the serious gamers don't have a clue that you're actually taking the mickey...

    I like that !

    Note: without the description, the only unusual thing about the character seems to be  the colour of the armour. So you've effectively created a new category for this challenge (which I'll add to the OP) - a more-or-less normal looking character where the ridiculous part is mainly in the back-story. I like that too!

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • mori_mannmori_mann Posts: 1,150

    Looks can be deceiving. I won't be surprised if this guy brings some odd quirks and idiosyncrasies to the party to make the rest of the group rethink their warm welcome and keeps them on their toes. Everyone is eventually shaped by their past, after all ;) 

    I like it when characters surprise even the one(s) playing or writing them.

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    I didn't see that coming ! wink

    (Sir Smuggley is actually on the panel of serious gamers. Or to be more precise he plays one of the serious gamers. )

    And I'd agree - I do find that characters, whether in an RPG or in a render, do sometimes seem to take on a life of their own... are we likely to find out anything more about your Penitenziagite's quirks? I'm wondering whether the design on his shield might give us a clue - it looks circular, so I'm putting two and two together to make five and suggesting that maybe he's communing with Zippy ?!

    I'm also intrigued about Cabbage, Button and Knot - did any of them make a name for themselves in the RPG character world ? Just playing with the sounds of the names I'd guess not. Maybe Mr and Mrs Thwackmallet were right - don't give your child a fancy name.

     

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    And I've finished my take on Grizhelda Gray-Grackles. Despite being a witch sorceress, she's quite lively and fun to be around.

    (mori_mann's model made me embarassed about the plain plastic snap-on bases I've been using for my characters, so I went out and bought an expensive carved wooden base and spent a lot of time on the groundwork, using Goblin Green Putty, bits of wire, etc for the grass and flowers.)

    She does a marvellous impersonation of Julie Andrews singing "The Sound Of Music". And she also does a marvellous rendition of Iron Maiden's "The Number Of The Beast" - but you really don't want to hear that...

    Hmmm... I wonder how susceptible to the subliminal implantation of ideas the readers of this story will be... Her Howlin' Wolf's "Killing Floor" is absolutely brilliant, as is her rendition of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves Of London"...

     

    ...because she has a dark secret, which will only become apparent to her fellow adventurers later in the adventure. I'll be gradually adding the background to her dark secret below:

    It all started one evening when her parents found her sobbing. "Squeakums bit me!" she sobbed.

    "What?" said her dad. Turn down that darn music - darn Julie Andrews! That's better. What did you say?

    "Squeakums bit me!" she huffed.

    Her parents looked at each other in disbelief. Then her dad shrugged and they started looking around for Squeakums.

    "You won't find him though" she said in slow menacing manner, "cos I gobbled him all up!" the last four words very quickly.

    "She's bonkers" mouthed her dad to his wife.

    And then she cackled (his daughter, not his wife) - which is rather disturbing coming from a four year old.

    "Witch. She's definitely gonna be a witch" said her dad, in that exasperated  'I told you so' tone of voice.

    "Not a witch, a sorceress!" chided his wife.

    As expected the young Grizhelda ended up going to WitchSorceress school, the prestigious Poptarts School Of Witchcraft Sorcery And Wizardry Witchcraft Sorcery (sorcerry twice? that sound stupid) Magic. She shared a dorm with three other would-be witches sorceresses - Grotknees Bears, Grossdina Ugly-Eelears, and Smelly Corpus. Like most youngsters they shared an interest in loud music that annoyed their elders.

    Two of their favourite jokes were to change the words, and to segue between unlikely songs. Their signature one was "The hills are alive,with the sound of howling.... aaaaOOOO! werewolves of London, aaaaOOOOOOOOOOO!"

    But then small furry animals started to inexplicably vanish...

    And when Grizhelda's room-mates disappeared without trace suspicion naturally fell on her. (In actual fact her room-mates were finding witchery sorcery to be a bit dull and had used a triumvirate spell to cross to our plane of existence where, in case you hadn't guessed, they changed their names slightly and each became individually successful in the music industry).

    It wasn't too long before the college scryers discovered what had really happened to the three room-mates. But they never discovered the fate of the small furry animals.

    Grizhelda still loved singing, so she went back to singing solo. But she wasvery careful to sing just the proper words. And to sing each song right until the very last note. No segues. And she stopped singing songs that had any association in the minds of would-be listeners with werewolves or monsters or beasts.

    But occasionally, just very occasionally, she would accidentally get a word wrong.... and guess what ? A small furry animal would disappear. But they were always at least a mile away from the college, so no suspicion fellon Grizhelda. Exactly a mile...

    ...years passed...

    Grizhelda's now (as previously expounded in a later post here)  in a party of adventurers  (played by serious gamers) who are really, really in Dire Straits (do you like that musical pun?) and cry out "For Jiminy's sake Grizhelda, do something!"...

    She suddenly freezes, and her eyes appear to glaze over...

    And then she bursts into song,

    "The hills are alive...", and starts to remove her clothing (but keeps strictly within the ToS) - as she does so her whole body turns inside out (picture this however you wish... or not)...

    "...with the sound of..." - in her place stand a giant, very, very angry Squeakums!  

    "...[insert whatever word you were expecting in place of 'music']" and Squeakums squeaks her loudest, angriest squeak and beings to tear everything in sight to shreds!

    >>> At last we're there. All the alternative endings that didn't make the final cut will be available as extras in the Director's Cut DVD) <<<

    Anticlimax ? Probably. But the looks of despair on the the faces of the gamers playing the other members of the DireStraits party were priceless...

    Uh-oh! Where's Squeakums gone ?

     

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  • isidornisidorn Posts: 1,570
    edited October 2017

    The Pussywillow, named so due to its popularity among the local felines, is something as unusual as an adventuring willow tree! It claims to be a fighter, but its constant use of the barkskin spell and its affinity with animals makes it more likely to be a ranger or a druid. Or perhaps a multiclass? Surely, Fighter/Ranger/Druid is a valid multiclass for willow trees?

    However, being a tree and firmly rooted in place makes it completely immobile, which is somewhat of a disadvantage for anyone aiming to seek out adventure. So far, the only adventure The Pussywillow has had was the time a wandering lumberjack came by and tried to chop it down. But The Pussywillow was up to the task and after an epic fight, the lumberjack had to find himself defeated and running away in terror.

    (Truth of the matter though, is that The Pussywillow is in fact not at all special to the local felines. It's the sandy ground it grows in that they come for, a perfect giant litter box, and the wandering lumberjack ran away quickly because he simply couldn't stand the smell.)

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017
    isidorn said:

    The Pussywillow, named so due to its popularity among the local felines, is something as unusual as an adventuring willow tree! It claims to be a fighter, but its constant use of the barkskin spell and its affinity with animals makes it more likely to be a ranger or a druid. Or perhaps a multiclass? Surely, Fighter/Ranger/Druid is a valid multiclass for willow trees?

    However, being a tree and firmly rooted in place makes it completely immobile, which is somewhat of a disadvantage for anyone aiming to seek out adventure. So far, the only adventure The Pussywillow has had was the time a wandering lumberjack came by and tried to chop it down. But The Pussywillow was up to the task and after an epic fight, the lumberjack had to find himself defeated and running away in terror.

                 

    (Truth of the matter though, is that The Pussywillow is in fact not at all special to the local felines. It's the sandy ground it grows in that they come for, a perfect giant litter box, and the wandering lumberjack ran away quickly because he simply couldn't stand the smell.)

    Wonderful ! An entirely unexpected version of the character.

    The reactions of the the panel of serious gamers were interesting:

    • First, there was puzzlement - where's the character ? She must be hiding behind the tree. So the panel of serious gamers used their ability to go into a render and look at it from the other side to check.They soon realized that she wasn't behind the tree, or hiding in the branches.
    • Then one of them realized that the character was in plain sight - "It's the cats! I'm not going down a dungeon with a cat! Not again - remember what happened last time... ?"
    • Some of the panel of serious gamers are obviously cat lovers, because a discussion on the merits of cats as members of adventuring parties began, including the classic comment "There are lots of cases of adventuring cats... take Fafhrd's cat, the Gray Mouser* for example..."
    • Then one of the gamers, who'd actually been reading what isidorn wrote interrupted with "Ahem! It's not the cats,it's the tree!" ... I'm sure that you can guess what happened next...
    • "A tree! I'm not going down a dungeon with a tree! Not again - remember what happened last time... ?"

    Perhaps this Pussywillow is not be as immobile as you suggest? I'm thinking of Treebeard© and the Ents© in The Hobbit© (Treants™©☠ if you're a D&D™©☠ player), and Groot© in Guardians Of The Galaxy©. And assuming that Pussywillow is a druid I do believe that there's a spell she could use on herself to make herself more mobile? But even if Pussywillow is firmly rooted there are other options - e.g. "tree transplanting" (Google image search). Of course machines would be out of the question but a team of horse or maybe an elephant or two ?

    I think ranger/druid is an appropriate combination of classes (f I recall correctly a ranger is a sub-class of fighter, making the addition of 'fighter' unnecessary?). Even though druids (who I believe are a sub-class of cleric) aren't restricted by the 'blunt weapons only' rule, I think that Pussywillow probably has an aversion to sharp weapons. And I'd guess that her main offensive weapon is definitely blunt - falling on people, especially lumberjacks. She probably gets +2 on her rolls to squish lumberjacks.

    yes So this Pussywillow gets the stamp of approval as a ridiculous RPG character ! yes

    *For anybody who's unaware this particular serious gamer is also seriously ignorant of his fantasy stories ! See Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser

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  • mori_mannmori_mann Posts: 1,150

    And I've finished my take on Grizhelda Gray-Grackles. Despite being a witch sorceress, she's quite lively and fun to be around.

    (mori_mann's model made me embarassed about the plain plastic snap-on bases I've been using for my characters, so I went out and bought an expensive carved wooden base and spent a lot of time on the groundwork, using Goblin Green Putty, bits of wire, etc forthe grass and flowers.)

    She does a marvellous impersonation of Julie Andrews singing "The Sound Of Music". And she also does a marvellous rendition of Iron Maiden's "The Number Of The Beast" - but you really don't want to hear that...

     

    ...because she has a dark secret, which will only become apparent later in the adventure...

    > > > Space reserved for render of revelation of Grizhelda's dark secret later in the adventure < < <

     

    *claps hands* That'sone epic witch sorceress Grizhelda you got there. Dark secrets are the best kind of secrets to throw at unsuspecting Serious Gamers when you're in the middle of things.

    The litterbox version of Pussywillow is all kinds of amazing, too :D

     

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited December 2018

    Thank you mori_mann, I'm so pleased that you approve. I'm a little bit perplexed though about how we get the panel of serious gamers to approve my entry - seeing as they're purely a figment of my imagination....

    Edit: Hey, where do you think you're going? You're just figments of my imagination... no, leave that post alone...

    ~~~~~~~~~

    I have a beautiful movie scene forming in my mind (provided that the alignments of Penitenziagite the paladin (LG) and Pussywillow the druidic tree (possibly LG or LN?) allow them to team up)...

    isidorn: Did you see the Peter Jackson movie "The Hobbit"? If so,do you remember Radagast's rabbit-powered sled ? Thinking along those lines (and assuming that druids can levitate things, including themselves - isn't that's how Stonehenge was built ? ;o) ), I'm now imagining Pussywillow, the ranger/druid pussywillow, travelling on a self-levitated island of soil pulled by birds of some sort. Eagles, pigeons, ducks, albatrosses, hummingbirds, whatever meets the mood.

    mori_mann: Imagine how magnificent this would look - Penitenziagite the paladin standing proudly at the front (in terms of the direction that the birds are pulling) of Pussywillow's floating island, staring meaningfully into the distance as the sun sets, his magnificent floppy-foppish hair wafting magnificently in the gentle breeze, as the waning sunlight glitters off his iridescent armour*...

     

    *it reminds me of soap bubbles, beautiful soap bubbles, floating in the air - I wonder if he'll pop if you shoot a couple of arrows into it ?

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    How about

    Name: Weirdwulf Weaslewhiskers ?

     

    Wolfie Weezlechops ? Dogweazle Muttonchops ? Gherkin Weezleblossom ?

     

    (I was actually in physical pain from laughing as I typed that... I guess you probably had to be there.)

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    So far we've had renders of three of the eight official names (nine if you include the new addition Weirdwulf Weaslewhiskers):

    1) Penitenziagite Thwackmallet the paladin

    2) Grizhelda Gray-Grackles the witch sorceress wacky old crone with a dark secret

    3) Pussywillow the ranger-druid tree

    (just because people have already done renders of those three doesn't mean that you can't do your version - go ahead, give it a go)

    That leaves three of the original characters from my introductory render to be re-imagined (the first of whom we're expecting to see in a render in the near future). Why not have a go at one of these?

    4) Cybersonja

    5) Gotterdammerung Battletank

    6) Dilbo Daggins

    And a further two characters for whom we have no renders yetl:

    7) Torquey Mudder Tounguetwister

    8) Weirdwulf Weaslewhiskers

    And of course you can do renders using character names that you make up yourself.

    No, I didn't forget Sir Smuggly Smuggins (well actually I did, but I'm pretending I left him out deliberately) - didn't you notice that he's sitting over there with his tea and cakes watching this thread, waiting for somebody to drop by for a chinwag?

     

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  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600
    edited October 2017

    By the way - the story of my Grizhelda's dark secret has started mysteriously appearing back in that post. (I'm not editing it, honest - it's magic !)

    Post edited by 3dcheapskate on
  • IceDragonArtIceDragonArt Posts: 12,468

    Miss Sonja is rendering now.  Will post tomorrow. She is not happy lol.

    I laughted pretty hard that these as well.

    How about

    Name: Weirdwulf Weaslewhiskers ?

     

    Wolfie Weezlechops ? Dogweazle Muttonchops ? Gherkin Weezleblossom ?

     

    (I was actually in physical pain from laughing as I typed that... I guess you probably had to be there.)

     

  • isidornisidorn Posts: 1,570

    I'm happy to see The Pussywillow recieving the coveted Stamp of Approval, especially after seeing the fate the original Pussywillow suffered. I'm also glad it was an unexpected incarnation of the character. After all, NOBODY EXPECTS THE SP.... err... I better stop there before revealing that The Pussywillow is in fact a covert agent for a certain religious organisation. Which I guess I just did anyway... But as NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPA.... err... I think its secret will still be safe.

    As for The Pussywillow's potential movement, I kind of added that to make sure it is indeed a ridiculous character. After all, its walking cousins in that story about the dude with a serious small-circular-shaped-item-fetish were rather impressive. For the very same reason, to not risk swaying the Panel of Serious Gamers in favour, I neglected to mention that this Pussywillow is in fact wearing even less clothes than the original one... Unless, perhaps, you count the leaves, which apparently were high fashion at one point in history. But even so, they are still revealing most of its... err... trunk! (Makes me wonder if there is an "adult entertainment" genre for "exotic" trees? There probably is, but I'm not brave enough to search the internets for it.)

    However, that epic movie scene suggested, reminds me a bit of the two characters at the front of that "unsinkable" ship that of course had to sink on its maiden voyage, which was rather bad for the ship and most of its passengers, but made a heap of money for some film studio and some movie makers. And who doesn't want to reap the benefits from a blockbuster movie?

    I did see that movie with the bunny-powered sled, and no, not that kind of movie with that kind of bunnies associated with a recently deceased magazine maker. I suppose if someone managed to pull up The Pussywillow with roots and all, preferable with a bit of the surrounding ground too, it would be possible to make a sled for it to travel on. First choise for musclepowers pulling the sled would probably be cats, as they are both plentiful and close at hand. But good luck trying to train a cat into doing physical labour! Not to mention an entire herd of them! So considering that, the levitation/bird combo sounds more likely, even if The Pussywillow most likely is far too low level to know any such useful spell. That one lumberjack encounter did not grant many XP.

    So while The Pussywillow most likely indeed is immobile, in the name of of blockbuster movie making, I think some artistic licence could be granted. Besides, with a movie villain (?) like Grizhelda Gray-Grackles the witch sorceress wacky old crone with a dark secret, the movie can be nothing but a success! Not to mention, the probably most interesting supporting cast ever.

  • 3dcheapskate3dcheapskate Posts: 2,600

    Miss Sonja is rendering now.  Will post tomorrow. She is not happy lol.

    Looking forward to seeing her... I think?

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