barbult's take on the lives of Jack and Richard
barbult
Posts: 26,156
I have no obvious place to post my latest render of Jack Tomalin and Richard Haseltine, so I'm starting a whole new discussion. They tend to find themselves in various predicaments, as depicted in my renders scattered throughout the forum. Even I can't track down all those renders anymore, so this can be their home going forward. I can't even remember what got me started on the Jack and Richard thing in the first place, but now it is tradition.
Feel free to comment.
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Comments
A Bad Idea
Jack took Richard punting on the river. As soon as they left dry land, it was obvioulsy a big mistake.
Oh no! Hahaha. Poor Jack. Richard managed to done some serious damage in no time at all...
I'm glad they've got their own thread now for their renders!! I hope you're able to round up the others and put them in here, so people can catch up on the rich history. (I know - it's really hard to track down all our previous forum uploads. Having the gallery option made that so much easier. Too bad that's gone... )
Panic is the mother of laceration, or something like that.
SapphireBlue and Richard, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I always get a kick of seeing your reactions. Yes, poor Jack. Throughout these adventures he has suffered incarcerations, humiliations, lacerations, and probably a few other "ations".
Well, I didn't have Richard down as a "scaredy-cat"!
I'm glad you started this thread - I love watching the evolving stories of Jack and Richard.
TangoAlpha privately brought to my attention that I missed an opportunity to use his narrow canal boat named "Jack Attack". OMG. I have that boat. How could I have missed that? Well, I'll just have to do another episode in the story, I guess. That's how these Jack and Richard stories often progress - based on people's comments.
I'm glad you enjoy them, MelanieL. Even Richard has phobias, I guess.
Love it & the idea.
I imagine Richard's phobia surround's the punt. Cats Fleabags are not normally very appreciative of large bodies of water.
I suspect my tabby (Jack, as it happens) would have climbed right up me and would have tried to sit/stand on my head to get as far away from the evil water as possible. So in my case it'd have been Jack climbing up Richard, but that's a by-the-by.
Also reminds me of this image from Icanhascheeseburger:
Regards,
Richard
The only time I ever went punting was with a friend who turns out to have a phobia about birds. She flinched every time we passed a goose. Then a pigeon landed on the bow and I had to chase it away with a spare paddle before she panicked and overturned the whole boat. Fun times …
That's pretty funny about your reverse Richard and Jack. Maybe you should start a render thread of your adventures with your Jack. In one of my previous stories about celebrating Richard Haseltine's 100,000th forum posting, Richard had to pose as Jack's support animal to be able to fly to Utah for a celebratory parade. So your Support Cat picture was right on targt here, too.
I never realized punting was such a traumatic and dangerous undertaking. I live in the US and had never heard of punting before TangoAlpha released his products here.
The Rescue
When Jack failed to return the rented punt on time, the police were summoned to track him down. A crowd had started to form, watching the punting fiasco on the river. To get things under control, Richard had to be tranquilized and air lifted out of there (poor guy). The appropriately named canal boat "Jack Attack" was called in to haul the punt and a mortified Jack back to the dock.
A saucer of milk and a side dish of the creamiest Potato Dauphinoise, and I reckon Richard will be alright.
Not sure how Jack's gonna explain away those claw marks though.
It's a damn shame I missed the others in the series, cause quite honestly this thread is a bit surreal!
No reinforced cage or Hannibal Lecter-style restraints*? Those tranquilisers must be the good ones.
* OK, that would probably need the assistance of Matt Castle.
Isn't Matt the centaur guy? Most of his forum thread looks bare because of the Daz Gallery changes, so I didn't come across anything related to restraints there when i looked briefly today.
But anyway - only the good ones for you, of course!
Although he mostly posts centaurs he does have a very solid techniique for covnerting fitted items from one human figure to just about anything that cn be posed, though whether he already has the specifics for any cat I don't know.
That's a relief.
I would take him to the vet to be fixed
Oh, I understand now. You could slip right out of human restraints. A cat mod would be needed for sure.
Oh no! Ouch.
I'm dredging up some of my old Jack and Richard renders, many of which are spread out in various PC+ forum threads, so only members could even see those.
These are the earliest I found so far. In 2016, Jack went on vacation, and we were invited to render our thoughts on where he went and what he did. Totte ran a contest: https://www.daz3d.com/forums/discussion/72888/the-b-w-c-render-jack-tomalin-on-vacation-contest. Rules stipulated that they had to be new renders and feature at least one PC item. We were limited to three entries. I'm not sure Jack could have survived any more of mine!
Wet T-Shirt Contest - Daytona Beach, Florida
Jack and his wife fly to Daytona Beach for Bike Week. Jack starts the weekend by enjoying a wet T-shirt contest while his wife works on her tan. You're a lucky man, Jack. Not all wives would let their husband get by with that! And wow, your wife is gorgeous!
Edited to add: The PC item in this render is a beach chair from The Promenade Deck.
Jack's Zoo Disaster
Honey, come and pet the baby anteater!
PC Items: Dark Trees Pack 1 and Dark Trees Pack 1 - Ivy
Jack's Balcony Blunder
Jack, they retrieved your phone. You got a great selfie as you fell off the balcony!
PC item: Cosy (sic) Kitsch Living Room Props retextured with PD Iray Shader Kit 2.
@COMIXIANT Yes, my imagination can get out of hand! I'm adding a few old renders here as I track them down. Here's the start.
In July 2016, Jack wrote "Jen's off at the moment with an infection, following more surgery on her foot." So we users had a Get Well Jen --- Render-A-Thon. Here are a few of my renders from that thread.
Jaaaaack!!!!
Jen, in shock: Put me down! You're going to get my clothes filthy! When you said you were going to haul me into work in a Firemans's carry, I thought you were insane! Are you insane, Jack?
Jack, matter of factly: We need you, Jen. We can't wait any longer. I don't care if your foot is still red and swollen. You have readmes to release and products to update. I'll carry you in in the mornings, and DAZ_Steve can carry you home at night. It'll work great, and I can wear this nifty suit! I got it on sale in the Daz Store. Wait until you see what DAZ_Steve got!
Uhhhh...No Thanks...I Think I'll Make Other Plans...
DAZ_Steve: Jack says I should give you a ride home. Bad foot or something? Oh, this, I got it free! Nice, huh!!! Gotta love DAZ freebies!
Jen: Uhhhh...No Thanks...I Think I'll Make Other Plans...And tell Jack I won't be needing his assistance in the morning!
Meanwhile, back at the office...
Richaaaard!!!
Jen, fed up: Richard, get off my keyboard! Can't you see I'm researching my vacation to Tibet?
Richard, paw-typing rapidly: I heard you needed a script to fix your foot. I've got the IDE up, and I'll have it done in no time.
Jen, flabbergasted: I need a PRESCRIPTION refill from the doctor, not a Daz Studio SCRIPT!!!! And, Richard, that's not even your kind of mouse.
This may be the point where Richard Haseltine entered my stories. I had a pretty scruffy cat model at the time.
I am so glad I clicked on the Art Studio this morning. @barbult you started my morning on a happy note with your renders. Jack, Richard and Jen, good times.
Right now my own Ginger, Charlie is giving me a run for my money by destroying my bedding on a daily basis. Two more pillows are going to the dumpster. And both he and Simon had zoomies at 2am today, and I was their springboard.
What is it about Gingers?!
Mary
@Wendy
I dunno, seems bit rad that does, although a cat manucure to keep the claws in check might be in order!
@barbult
The link doesn't work for me, but funny stuff, and I'll be watching this thread!
I believe in Spaying/Neutering pets to avoid unwanted litters
He has to breed in order to produce future generations of Master Daz Moderator.
It's not easy, it's down to a rare DNA mutation and the DNA line must never be severed.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/05/15/reason-more-ginger-cats-male-gene/
@memcneil70 I also feel a renewed sense of joy when looking back at some of my favorite old renders and stories.
From the Daz+ Anniverary Sale 2022 - Render Contest!
This started as a simple contest entry, but because of reader comments, it grew into a huge story starring (of course) Jack and Richard. Even I, barbult (see forum avatar) became a major focus of the story.
Jack Seeks Richard's Advice
I don't know, Richard. They all seem so blah this year. Is this the one? What do you think?...Richard? What's that racket back there? Are you paying attention? I need your help to pick a hat for the Daz+ contest.
I Was Only Trying to Help
Jack: (alarmed) Richard! What have you done to barbult?
Richard: (contrite) I was just trying to help! Her feathers would really spruce up your hat.
Jack: (reconsidering) Well, she was kind of a thorn in our side, complaining all the time. Maybe this is a good thing...
More Flare
Jack: I don't like that hat anymore. This yellow one has more flare [shout out @Diomede] and will look fabulous with those blue feathers. Richard, run and get me some of those big ones back there. Uh oh, I hear the baby crying. I've got to go check on her. Maybe you can work on the hat while I'm busy. Maybe add some of those flowers from the vase on the console table, or maybe some of those ferns...
Unseen Narrator: But wait, ladies and gentlemen - is that a blue feather outside the window in the flower bed? Did barbult escape? [dramatic music fades to mysterious silence]
The Hat in the Mess
Jack: Ok, I'm back. Gah! Richard! Look at this mess you made! Are you all thumbs, or what? Hey, that hat is looking sharp, though!
Richard: I don't have thumbs.
Jack: We've got to get this mess cleaned up before my wife gets home.
Richard: Will you look at the time! It's my turn to be forum administrator. Gotta go!
She's Alive!
[Not a Render; Not a contestr entry]
Meanwhile, @SapphireBlue was strolling by Jack's house when something blue caught her eye. It's a bird! "It needs my help", she said. "I'm going to take it home and nurse it back to health." barbult was relieved to be in such good hands.
Continued below...