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Your only job is to inspire my next render.
Uh Oh!
Lola: Richard! What are you doing sprawling across the dining table when I'm trying to set it for dinner? You're knocking things on the floor and making a mess. Go watch TV or something. Get out of the dining room.
Richard Haseltine: Sprawling is what a cat does. You should be used to that by now. OK, I'll go check the news.
Richard turns on the local evening news and sees the headlines about the explosions at Ron's birthday BBQ.
Richard Haseltine: Lola, I need to borrow your phone to check something on Google!
Richard Haseltine: Hey Google, H is Helium, isn't it?
Google: No, H is the symbol for Hydrogen, a highly explosive and flammable gas when mixed with air.
Richard Haseltine: Oops. Hey Google, what is the best way for a cat hide from the FBI?
Google: The FBI is unlikely to suspect a cat of any crime. The best course of action would be for the cat to remain in plain sight and continue it's normal activities. That is, unless the cat normally causes an excessive amount of trouble and frequently gets itself and others into difficult situations. In that case, well, all bets are off. That cat might already be on the FBI's most wanted list.
DDT? In large cylinders? Surly not, even if said cat has a serious flea issue.
R134a is covered by the Montreal Protocol, and storing oxidants (O2) near fuels (H2) is really bad practice, to the extent it's slightly illegal in most jurisdictions for storage like that at work, and the application of the regulations to home storage is a bit fuzzy.. I was once in a lecture and saw something moving very rapidly out of the corner of my eye through the window wall to my left. Swiveled round to look just as the pressure wave of a huge explosion hit the building and seemed to rock it backwards (no windows smashed in the building I was in, but they did nearer to the source. Just as everyone was jumping up and crowding to the windows, the remains of a Propane cylinder smashed down onto the roof of a nearby building and punched through into the upper rooms with the force of its arrival. I had obviously seen the cylinder blasting skywards out of the corner of my eye, and it had been airbourne for maybe 15 seconds before returning to earth. A roofing bitumen boiler had been left unattended and something went wrong, the propane cylinder exploded and it came back to earth eventually. Fortunately nobody was hurt, but the roofers responsible were shaken rigid.
Apart from that, a reasonable range of tools. More hammers than most people need. I try to get by with one, a 16lb sledge. You can hit things gently with a big hammer, but you can't hit things hard with a small hammer.
Regards,
Richard
It is best not to try to analyze the rationality of Richard Haseltine related renders.
There is no pretense of reality here.
Trying to highlight further things that could go wrong, completely by accident of course, that's all.
Regards,
Richard
Sorry, could not resist...
Everyone looks very cheerful, even though they almost got badly injured. Kind of like "Ooh look there's an unexploded ordnance form WWII, let's throw bricks at it an see if it goes off."
@ Artini: Yep, it was surprisingly like that.
Regards,
Richard
Surely I am on everyone's "most wanted" list? (Hopefully not most anted as I initially typed. Some of these are attributable to the keyboard.)
.
You top my list of "most wanted" cat forumers. Forumers?? I think that is a new word.
You know he just wanted the box it came in.
Nightmares
Although Richard is proud of being "Most Wanted" by everyone, he has nightmares about being arrested again if the FBI is able to pin the BBQ bombing on his careless balloon inflating.
Hmm, I don't think I am that short normally. Maybe I was slumping a bit.
True.
And if they do use photo ID, there iis at least some room for confusion thanks to the little Jacks.
You mean the little Toms - Tom, Tommy, Tomalin, Thomas and Tom boy. That's a good plan! Tom is Ron's cat, after all. Who's to say that Tom was not the one to fill the balloons for his human's party. Good thinking, Richard. We can always count on you to get out of a jam - and get into another one later.
I beg your pardon. I am innocent.
Yah, that's what all the cats claim.
He was with me.
Jam yesterday, jam tomorrow, but never jam today.
That alibi is unconvincing, Ron. I don't see him there. Are you sure you know where he is at all times? Maybe he sneaks out while you are napping. Just sayin'. Could be.
You always amaze me with the breadth of your knowledge. I always have to Google these things to see where they come from.
Jam TODAY! Jam Gone Away
TLDR: Richard and four Toms got out of the jam they got in, when they looked so much alike, no individual one of them could be positively identified as the balloon deliverer.
The Story: The FBI agents scoured the area of the BBQ bombing for evidence. They found balloon shards that had been blasted around to periphery. Forensic testing found hydrogen contamination on those balloon shards. Aha! Bombing by hydrogen filled balloon.
The FBI canvased the area for possible eye witnesses. Several people reported an orange cat delivering red and white balloons to the party. This cat was seen driving a large brown delivery van. Reports stated that he was an excellent driver. At one point the van broke down and he managed to repair it quickly; he was an excellent auto mechanic. When the van finally just quit, he gathered all the balloons from the van and commandeered a police horse to get to the BBQ location. He was reported to be an excellent equestrian, riding skillfully while having a firm grasp on the balloons. When he arrived at the BBQ location, he saw that a water main had broken and had flooded the street. He grasped all the balloon strings in his teeth and swam across the flooded street. He was reported to be an excellent swimmer. Judging from the accuracy with which the BBQ party site was destroyed, he must have been an excellent marksman.
The FBI agents were tasked with rounding up all of the suspicious orange cats in the vicinity. "We'll put them in a lineup and get the balloon store salesman to identify the culprit", they thought. Each cat was lined up with a number. When the balloon salesman looked them over, he said "They all look the same. I can't tell one from another." So, the lineup was a bust. Without positive identification, no charges could be filed. The cats were free to go. Tom, Thomas, Richard, Tomalin and Tom Boy left the station, relieved to be off the hook. Tommy was safe all the time, having made it back to Miss Kitty in Dodge City, following the detailed map that Richard had drawn for him.
[ Too many words, I know. Some days I just can't stop writing about Richard and his adventures. This sort of ties together some earlier escapades. ]
Yay!
Yes, indeed. Another narrow escape for Richard and Tom, and the other Toms.
My friends and I are still enjoying your (our) story.
Narrow escapes are always the most fun.
So I guess I can't upload any images here anymore?