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Still Stuck
Rob: My mouth is way too big and my teeth are way too sharp to seal around this funnel end.
Jack: What can we do now? Who else can we call?
Jack and Rob (in unison): Lola!
If you were to poke a cucumber into the small end I think Richard would suddenly find the means to escape. ( In real-life, never scare your cat with a cucumber, but since it's only Richard it would probably be ok ).
Just connect a high preassure air compressor to the funnels small end, and Richard will be the first cat orbiting the moon :-)
Oooh, lots of cheese.
One of our cats got into a staring match with a marrow. I mean its cylindrical, it swells out at the back, and area where the stalk attached is a bit like a face.
I wonder if there's a ranking of vegetable scaryness for cats, like 'Leek' that's fine, 'Melon' that's sort of ok, 'Corgette' um a bit close for comfort, 'Cucumber' NOPE, 'Peapod' Yup that's no problem...
Also, what about the big cats? If you were to prod a huge lion with a cucumber would it be upset? Would you survive? I mean, we know what happened to Albert in Albert and the Lion, and that was just a stick ( albeit it had a horse's head handle which might be triggering for a big cat ). And is it only cats that suffer from Cucurbitophobia ( had to look that one up ), what about Owls?? Doesn't the ancient book of Celts say "Suffer Ye Not Thine Owle Be Proddeth With An Cucumbre".?
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Nope, I'm afraid not. Wallace and Gromit ate the lot years ago, which is why the moon looks white now instead of the Wensleydale Yellow it's supposed to be.
It Takes a Woman
So, the guys call Lola to come and help get Richard out of the funnel. After all, she was the one to rescue the Daz server when it went black, and Jack nearly froze to death. She has a history of saving the day.
Lola: You guys are ridiculous. All you have to do is reach in and slide him out of the BIG END.
Jack: Gosh, we never thought of that!
Rob: You make it look so easy.
(No cucumbers or other vegetables required.)
Well, sure - if you want to take the easy route. Though cats tend to have balky reverse gears.
I'm waiting for Richard to 'accidenatally' cause chaos. We know he's at his best in a crisis, and what better way to demonstrate his strengths than for him to initiate the crisis if there isn't one in progress.
Maybe Richard needs a nemesis... like um, 'Monty'.. Picture the scene Richard is tied down while the laser beam inches closer...
Richard "I suppose you expect me to talk?"
Monty "No Mr Heseltine, I expect you to" drringggg dringggg ( telephone )
Monty "Hello? Yes this is he"
Monty "Look I kind of busy right now taunting a captive" .... "Well no it's not convenient to be honest , and I don't really need a timeshare"
Monty " Look I know it's a good deal but you've really spoiled the moment, and If I don't turn off the laser quickly .. er oops".
Under Lola's careful guidance, I'm sure you can reverse gears with no problem. I imagine you regret having failed in your attempt at a narrow escape, but I do believe a wide escape was best this time.
Oh, you want chaos?
Well, I wasn't headed in that direction, but perhaps that can be arranged yet. However, Richard must always survive to live another adventure another day, so that "oops laser" is OUT!
(Monty should buy that timeshare. Maybe then he would torture himself for that decision, rather than torture poor cats.)
A Good Stretch
Lola: Let's go home, Richard.
Richard: Ah, it feels good to stretch out after being balled up in the funnel for so long. This center hump under my back really arches me up and feels great.
(Thanks to Other-Richard for the nice flat cat stretch pose.)
Flashing his bits again I see :-D
I don't know what it is that Richard has over Lola, but whatever it is, I sure wish he'd bottle and sell it to those of us less sucessful with the ladies!
Hmm, I hope Lola doesn't have to brake suddenly - I might have to dig my claws in to save myself (I have excellent reactions).
Yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar.
I've got a crush on a lady friend who already has a boyfriend.
She's allergic to cats also.
I had a crush on another woman who thought the dog in my painting was a cow.
That's another way of Richard being catapulted like a missile.
Poor Ron, lol, then might I suggest that what you really need is a She-Devil.
Come to think of it, I think I do as well :-D
The Life and Loves of Ron Knights
Actually, I'll have to pick that up myself since I remember her vividly. I last saw her in the 80s, so she must have done something memorable!
Oooh, a lot of activity here while I was off rendering chaos! Cat nudity is allowed in the forum, and Richard is not unnecessarily modest. He is not overly fond of clothes, except when necessary to disguise himself as human or please Lola by wearing the pajamas she bought him. A fur coat is all he really needs on most days like today.
Chaos on Main Street
Lola braked suddenly when the light on the corner of Main Street turned red. Richard was catapulted over the front seat and into Lola's lap.
Lola: Oh! Richard you scared me!
Richard: I'd better drive. I'm an excellent driver.
Lola: (amidst lots of honking and public screaming): Richard! You turned the wrong way onto a one way street! Stop! This is chaos!!
(Hm... How did Richard reach the gas pedal? I bet when he startled Lola by landing in her lap, she took her foot of of the brake and the car rolled forward and he turned the steering wheel to the right. Yeah, we'll go with that.)
It doesn't help that the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car, and the cars are on the wrong side of the road.
With a one way street, is there a wrong side of the road?
Yes, both sides.
Ah, I can see your interpretation of the situation.
Well, you Brits drive on the wrong side of the road.
Multi-Vehicle Pile Up on Main Street
Multiple vehicles were severely damaged and injuries occurred this afternoon in a chaotic collision on Main Street. A tanker truck exploded after colliding with a van that had hit a fire department vehicle. A silver convertible being driven by an orange cat was seen fleeing the scene. Witnesses said the cat made an illegal right turn against traffic, then immediately swerved left behind a taxi and directly into the path of the van and fire vehicle. The convertible then veered right again and continued at high speed down Cross Street. Tire tracks left at the scene are being analyzed. Police suspect this may be the same orange cat that was observed delivering hydrogen filled balloons to a birthday party earlier this year, causing horrific explosions and great property damage. This cat is extremely dangerous. Do not approach. Report any sightings to the nearest police station immediately.
This thread gets a lot of good use out of Stonemason's Main Street USA, all three Suburbs sets, and even the Neon Bazaar. With Stonemason's efficiency, I can get a lot of extra elements into the scenes. That's what I need for these stories. I think Richard should take more trips to visit some of the other Stonemason sets I own.
Edit, Oh, I can't forget to mention Streets of the Wild West where the whole Posse story took place! I'm sure there are others that I don't remember right now either.
If you eject him into space, he can visit Mars Habitat ...
I have 80 Stonemason products, but not Mars Habitat.