I Forgot What My Complaint Was - Complaint Thread
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I’m never coming down!! WoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooooo!
I have two, three pound cans of Kirkland Supremo Bean Dark Roast and three gallons of coffee I pre-brewed, sitting in the refrigerator, I have a bag of plantain chips on my hand, six cans of halved peaches, a magical batter whisk and this package of sweat socks... I don’t know what, or how it’s going down, but something epic is gonna happen! I’m on the edge of that point in “2001 A Space Odyssey” where Arnold or whatever the astronaut’s name was, looked into the obelisk and saw whatever the hell that was that he saw, because forty years after I first saw that, still don’t know what the hell was going on except it was full of cats... or stars... I forgot which was the parody... but I’m standing here and I feel it happening.... oh my god... its... full of... its full of coats?... Damn... that was disappointing, it was the hall closet... oh snap, it’s full of spiders too...
I’ll leave those in there for my wife to discover... she loves spiders... she makes this joyous shrieking sound and dances around when they drop on her...
And there’s a bunch of em in there now... she is going to be so excited!
By the way, did you know it’s hard to drive with your hand stuck in a bag of plantain chips? I’m not driving now but the bag is still on my hand... it got stuck in there when I was driving and I couldn’t resist the greasy allure of fried bananas in a Mylar sack... actually steering is fine, it’s like driving with oven mits on, the only problem is you can’t show your appreciation for other people’s bad driving if if your turn signal finger is stuck in a bag... I did feel a little like one of those raccoons with a peanut butter jar stuck on his head... which I can double relate to because I once got my chin stuck in an eight pound pudding can I was licking clean...
I miss my eight pound cans of pudding... Costco and BJs stopped carrying them... probably because gorging yourself on eight pounds of pudding isn’t as fashionable as it used to be, and people are such wussies with their “that much pudding isn’t good for you” and “you’ll get heart disease”... first they tell me I’m a heartless bastard and then they are convinced I’ll get a disease for something they claim I don’t have... unless they mean too much pudding can give you a disease where you sprout mutated hearts all over... that’s too confusing...
By the way, I still have that plantain chip bag on hand because if I take my hand out, I’ll eat all the plantain chips and that glorious plantain dust that congeals in the corners... oh fu.. fungus... the bag is open on the bottom... actually the top, I opened it upside down... I was upside down, having fallen over the junk in the back of my van while trying to open the bag... but now the top opened too and the plantain chips and their dust are all gone... this is sad... now I really want to kick Hitler in the nuts... I mean, if you wanna take your anger out on someone, it should be someone evil that nobody in their right mind would like...
I was eating a bag of plantain chips upside down before, so it’s possible one could bake a cake upside down... don’t they bake everything upside down and counter clockwise up in Australia?... actually it’s “down”, but if you go to far north you either end up in space or down around Antarctica or Australia... wait, which way do toilets rotate in Australia?... clockwise or counter clockwise?... I’ll look that up...
Oh... it’s the water...
Now I don’t care which way it rotates... rotating toilets sounded like fun... or a challenge... either way it was something different... my friend has a toilet seat that randomly drops down when you are using it, which make it a challenge not to pee on the fancy lid cover... I have never lost so far... mostly because I cheat and just use the sink.
I need more caffeine... this is my life now... I’m Coffee-Man!
One of the places I worked at used to have a food service truck visit... not one of those fancy modern ones where they serve hot tacos, shawarma or baked gorilla, this was one of those old quilted steel ones without refrigeration, just ice and rotting egg salad sandwiches... god, I used to get so sick from that terrible food...I miss the 80s... anyway... the bookkeeper there used to always call out “Coffee man is here” when he’d show up and I’d always be disappointed that it wasn’t some coffee based superhero... so I’d just have a coffee and egg salad or tuna salad or month old fuzzy cheese danish, get sick and swear one day I’d become Coffee-Man!
I’m gonna do it... I’m gonna be Coffee-Man!
But first I have to go to Best Buy and see if they have a cheap hard drive that’s on sale....
Coffee Man awaaaaaaaay!
Somebody tackle him quickly!
Pppfftttt !!! can you catch him?
nob complaint the other store has none of that webp nonense
new kittens entered the world a few hours ago
mommy earned well earned rest
I’m back... the caffeine is working! I’ve altered the future somehow...
When I came home it was sunny, and in the short amount of time I was writing here, I must have gone back or forward in time, because when I went out just now it was raining and really cloudy and when I went to Best Buy it didn’t suck... they actually had the hard drive I went there for and it didn’t take two hours... or it might have, I don’t know... time is meaningless to me now... I exist in a world where time can be manipulated like the lint in my pockets...
There is a lot of lint in my pockets... it’s like someone washed a six pack of hamsters in my pants and they fell apart in the dryer.
I have to make another pot of coffee before my wife gets home because I know she’ll be all like “you are being obnoxious”, like that’s something new... she’s never on board with my crazy ideas or experiments... especially ones that involve heat, fire or time travel... it’s always “Is that going to blow up? Take it outside...”
I found those plantain chips... they were in the driveway... they were soggy.
I’m never going to sleep tonight... or ever... sleep is for losers... I’m going to stay up all night and watch all the movies on Netflix and Amazon and Hulu... why do we have three streaming services?
Oooh... Pizzza! My wife came home with Pizza!... She is so cool! I’m gonna feel so bad about the spider thing tomorrow... But Pizza!
lint gets into the darndest places ... how does it get in there?
is friday yes?
last sat i got up and got ready for work doh before i fogured out was saturday
Lint fairies and belly button gnomes... they are elusive, but one day I’ll catch one and the world will know the truth... well, catch one alive... well, at least maybe in one piece.
Coffee-man is vanquished... apparently his kryptonite is pizza and a lot of beer...
Oh well... it was a good run... still, I’m checking the history channel to see if the pink tutu thing panned out.
and now he is glitching ......scary
My three streaming services are Netflix, amazon prime and sling. I still have difficulty finding something to watch. Now I forgot my sling password.
edit turns out I was using the wrong email address instead of the wrong password for sling.
How am I watching CBS all access when I am not subscribed to CBS All access? I went to the app to see how much it was and it started playing a show. It is about a comedian who wants to be funny so he talks about his dog.
Complaint: Turkey bacon .......nuff said.
WAtching the 2nd narnia In game of thrones they usually fight withba battle strategy. They dont just stand in a fueld and yell attack.
Fru fru?
...you may be bordering on becoming "Too Much Coffee Man".
..sounds like it may be part of the diabolical plot of none other than Dr. Decaff.
...or maybe Stuporman, the Man of Beer.
I am debating between Genesis 3 or Genesis 8. Which one do you prefer?
Non-complaint: Music to DAZ by: Poking through my music collection today I stabbed at an area I hadn't visited in a while and landed on Kabalevsky's 3rd Piano Concerto. Joyful punctuated play! Wonderful precursor to, or review of, a wonderful day.
Dimitri Kabalevsky: Piano Concerto #3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg9sEiFVcWA
Dimitri Kabalevsky: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dmitry_Kabalevsky
I am wasting time watching YouTube but I keep seeing DAZ ads.
I saw a new DAZ3D and it had a blue fox in it. Where can I find that blue fox?
This one maybe? https://www.daz3d.com/fennec-for-foxes-by-am
We are not amused.
Oh, look! It's gram'ma Europe. Talk about a "power base".
I got a Major complaint. I either do not have many elf ears for G8M or they are not installed ergo not showing up.
theres something special about starting a fresh jar of peanutbutter
...for me first it's trying to get that inner seal off in one piece (which has no tab to grasp onto) so it doesn't shred and drop pieces into the PB, and since I purchase the natural brands, next it's that layer of oil on top that has to be stirred in first (which makes getting that inner seal off in one piece a necessity).
..ugh weather 'plaint. All those nice days that were being forecast for next week are pretty much gone save for Thursday. Other than that more rain and cool if not chilly temps (only 50° for today and tomorrow with lows of 40° both nights). With all this rain, there is actually concern that there may be flooding in the city along the Willamette, similar to what we experienced in 1996. Corvallis, OR upriver, has already been experiencing it.
Spring Complaint: Ants!
Yes, spring has sprung.
The new batch of ants have left their burrows and are actively investigating the the big world around them, which includes my kitchen and other parts of my apartment.
However, I have learned that talking sternly to them and feeding them devious snacks to take back to their mother works quietly and quite well. Murdering their whole family for the rest of the warm seasons. Time to get another box of Ant-Bait.
I don't mind the big ones, the size of deshelled pistacios, that send lone scouts into the house and scare the bezezus out of me when they crawl across my bare foot, because they are quickly dealt with. But I hate the leetle teeny ones that come in mobs and gather around a bread crumb on the kitchen counter overnight and when I notice the dime sized black spot on the counter and investigate, it dissolves into a hundred specks running in every direction, evading total erasure without instant panic on my part or vast quantities of poison sprayed onto my food areas, requiring my evacuation of the premises for a couple hours until the noxious fumes dissipate.