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barbult's take on the lives of Jack and Richard

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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 17

    Look, No Paws!

    Milly: Richard, the trick to riding a bike that is too big, is to stand on the pedals. Don't sit on the seat. Luckily you have a girl's bike so there is no bar in your way. 
    Richard: I've got it now! Wheee, I can go fast. I have an excellent sense of balance. Look, Milly, no paws!

     

    Richard Milly Bike Stairs_004_Camera 1.jpg
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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 17

    Watch Out!

    Milly: Richard! Look where you are going. Watch out for the stairs!

    Richard Milly Bike Stairs_005_Camera 4.jpg
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  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,763

    Uh-oh!

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    Ron Knights said:

    Uh-oh!

    That's an appropriate response to many renders of Richard, isn't it! laugh 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 17

    Uh Oh!

    Richard had already built up a good head of steam when he reached the edge of the stairs. It was too late to stop. Milly couldn't run fast enough to grab him. Over the edge he flew.

    Richard Angel_002_Camera 3.jpg
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  • backgroundbackground Posts: 940
    edited May 17

    Well at least he's not imagining a devil with a pointy trident waiting for him.

    Post edited by background on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 111,598

    background said:

    Well at least he's not imagining a devil with a pointy trident waiting for him.

    Feathered wings are better for chasing birds (I hope that incentivises Barbult to save me in the next render).

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    Richard has to hang in midair a little longer. Life got in the way for a bit. 

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 111,598

    barbult said:

    Richard has to hang in midair a little longer. Life got in the way for a bit. 

    If that is it being unhelpful then I hope that it can be brought back into line shortly and smoothly.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard has to hang in midair a little longer. Life got in the way for a bit. 

    If that is it being unhelpful then I hope that it can be brought back into line shortly and smoothly.

    It's annoying when I can't render you 24/7 laugh. I'll be back to rendering soon. We must resolve your current dilemma with the bike and the stairs. 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 22

    Flip

    Richard flew over the handlebars and did a flip, as his bike clattered down the stairs ahead of him. 

    Thanks to Other Richard for the washing pose, which I modified just slightly for the flip here.

    Richard bike flip_Camera 2 PS.jpg
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  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 41,617

    he looks like a furry prawncheeky

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    he looks like a furry prawncheeky

    Hmm. You're right. 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 22

    Triumph

    After two full forward flips, Richard sticks the landing!

    Richard: Wow! I'm an excellent Gymnast! I think I should try out for the Catlympics.

    Richard nails landing_Camera 6 PS.jpg
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  • backgroundbackground Posts: 940
    edited May 22

    Send for 'Bicycle repair man!"  I could include a link to the Python sketch. but it turns into a joke political rant, so better not. 

    Post edited by background on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 111,598

    Hmm, well I guess Milly will not be getting a new (undersized) bicycle after all. Though at least I can say "I am ready for my close-up, Miss Milly".

  • backgroundbackground Posts: 940
    edited May 22

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Hmm, well I guess Milly will not be getting a new (undersized) bicycle after all. Though at least I can say "I am ready for my close-up, Miss Milly".

    Milly could go anf get her camera, and then ask you to do it again, so that she can get some dramatic pictures for 'show and tell'. 

    The 'prawn' pic brings to mind one of Billiy Connolly's comedy stories 'Ivan the Terrible' The gist of which is that a little Glaswegian guy is in a wresting match with Ivan. Ivan is much feared and has two signature wrestling holds,  The 'Half Pretzel' which breaks his opponents back, and the 'Full Pretzel' which kills the opponent. At the start of the match the crowd are behind the little guy because , well everybody loves the underdog, but then! Ivan gets the little guy in the Half Pretzel!, and the crowd are saying "Oh Nooooo" and looking away, Suddenly Ivan flies across the ring and collapses in a heap. The crowd goes wild and the little guy is interviewed about what happened.. He says "Ivan got me in the Half Pretzel and I could feel the life draining out of me, just before I was about to pass out I saw this 'willy' right in front of my eyes, so I thought 'Why Not?" and sank my teeth into it as hard as I could. It's amazing the burst of strength you get if you bite your own willy".

    I apologise for the off topic content, but that's what you picture brought to mind laugh 

    Post edited by background on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 25

    What the Heck Happened Here?

    Jack: Milly, I'm here to take you and your mother home. Where is she? And Richard, what are you doing here; why are you wearing that silly outfit, and what the heck happened here?
    Milly: Mama went to the shoe store. I had to help Richard ride his bike better...Look, here comes Mama now! Wow, new shoes!
    Richard: To sum it up, I was an excellent cyclist right before I went over the edge and became an excellent gymnast. The mice stole my onions, and my bike broke. Please give me a ride home, Jack.
    Jack: Ah, I see; just the normal stuff. Let's go. I'll drop you off at home. I'm going to put that bike in the dumpster.
    Richard: OK, I won't need it at the Catlympics.
    Jack: The Catlympics????


     

    Jack picks up Richard and Family_004_Camera 6.jpg
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  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 111,598

    Never stand still, never be where they expect you (and hope they don't tread on your unexpected tail).

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Never stand still, never be where they expect you (and hope they don't tread on your unexpected tail).

    Your tail is very agile. I bet you could whip it out of the way in time. 

  • backgroundbackground Posts: 940
    edited May 26

    I bet Jack could turn the remains of the bike into a little unicycle for Richard. It just so happens there's one in the store that is on sale, and looks a bit like Richards bike. ( a bit of scaling and a coat of paint is all it needs really ).

    Post edited by background on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 111,598

    background said:

    I bet Jack could turn the remains of the bike into a little unicycle for Richard. It just so happens there's one in the store that is on sale, and looks a bit like Richards bike. ( a bit of scaling and a coat of paint is all it needs really ).

    Ooh, I am sure one wheel would be easier to manage than two (or four, which after all require a special license).

  • felisfelis Posts: 6,536

    Like this cheeky

  • backgroundbackground Posts: 940
    edited May 26

    See now that would have avoided the first accident ( falling sideways ) but not the second one, unless his little paws could reach the brake levers. On the other hand he would be much more likely to mow down innocent bystanders on this larger and heavier machine. I now have an image in my head of Richard riding down the street on this, and bystanders sent flying one both sides, like the bow wave of a ship.

    Post edited by background on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 111,598

    background said:

    See now that would have avoided the first accident ( falling sideways ) but not the second one, unless his little paws could reach the brake levers. On the other hand he would be much more likely to mow down innocent bystanders on this larger and heavier machine. I now have an image in my head of Richard riding down the street on this, and bystanders sent flying one both sides, like the bow wave of a ship.

    Where did Jack leave hi...the credit card?

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550
    edited May 29

    Big News!

    Richard arrives home and throws open the kitchen door.

    Richard: Lola, I'm home!
    Lola: Richard, where on earth have you been all this time? It's almost dark outside. Did you sell all the onions? Where's your bike? Why are you so late? I had to go ahead and eat dinner without you.
    Richard: None of that matters - I have big news! I'm an excellent Gymnast. I'm going to try out for the Catlympics. I need a leotard. Oh, I see you filled my bowl with treats from Other Richard. Thanks. I'm pretty hungry after my long day.
    Lola: The Catlympics????

    Richard Gymnast Comes Home_002 hidden removed_001_Camera 1.jpg
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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    Anyway, Richard is busy ordering some gymnastic leotards from the Big River company, and looking forward to the boxes they will come in. He can hardly wait to start practicing for the Catlympics tryouts.
    Huh, the spellchecker refuses to accept "Catlympics" as a valid spelling.

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 41,617
    edited May 29

    I think you call that a pogo stick

    be interesting to see Richard on one

    some I have in

    https://www.daz3d.com/playtime

    https://www.daz3d.com/santa-s-toy-workshop

    Post edited by WendyLuvsCatz on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,550

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    I think you call that a pogo stick

    be interesting to see Richard on one

    some I have in

    https://www.daz3d.com/playtime

    https://www.daz3d.com/santa-s-toy-workshop

    Did you not see when Richard thought Jack's jackhammer was a pogo stick and tore up Jack's whole driveway by riding it? It's part of the story about how Jack repaired Richard's horse, which was the follow on to the Posse infiltration story.

  • WendyLuvsCatzWendyLuvsCatz Posts: 41,617

    barbult said:

    WendyLuvsCatz said:

    I think you call that a pogo stick

    be interesting to see Richard on one

    some I have in

    https://www.daz3d.com/playtime

    https://www.daz3d.com/santa-s-toy-workshop

    Did you not see when Richard thought Jack's jackhammer was a pogo stick and tore up Jack's whole driveway by riding it? It's part of the story about how Jack repaired Richard's horse, which was the follow on to the Posse infiltration story.

    I may not have looked back that far, or its old age, unsure TBH blush 

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