barbult's take on the lives of Jack and Richard

13468926

Comments

  • SimonJMSimonJM Posts: 6,097

    acb said:

    Nooo! The rocking owl! Misstreated and brutally murdered for being different and inconvenient. I can totally see how the handcuffs fit in there.

     Don't worry, as Arnie says, "Owl be back .." :)

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    ...
    I am relieved to see that Jack was finally able to sort out the head/body junction - not usually a problem for cats.

    I get it! laughBiting the head off of a mouse, etc. 

    Richard Haseltine said:

    I suspect the handcuffs may originally be left over from a member-retention experiment.

    So that is why I have been a member for 13 years, in spite of all my complaints about Daz+ items and promotions over the years. My wrists are a little sore, now that you bring that up.

  • ArtAngelArtAngel Posts: 2,092

    barbult said:

    It's Working!

    Jack grabbed the coping saw from his workbench pegboard. It's working! The body will be separated soon. Thank goodness. The next attempt was going to be the jackhammer. Nothing good could have come from that!

    (Note: When I added the coping saw to the pegboard several renders ago, I had no idea that it would have any other use than to hang there. I simply looked in my library for skinny tools that could hang from those tiny pegs. I found that saw. I also found a pair of handcuffs. Nobody has wondered why Jack has handcuffs on his workbench pegboard. I guess it must be obvious to the most casual observer. I figure maybe it is a souvenir from his arrest and incarceration due to the hosta hijinks with Richard.)

    Did anyone notice that joyous smile on Jacks face as he beheaded the horse? And the handcuffs? And subconsciously he is fixated on the word rope. Precious told me. "Me thinks Jack has the makings of a serial killer."

    acb said:

    Then I advice avoiding back alleys. 

    Yep! you never know where Jack may be lurking. And I am not talking about Jack the Ripper . . . or am I . . .  devil

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085
    edited August 2025

    Nightmares!

    Jack fell into a deep sleep, until he began tossing and turning with nightmares about Richard's horse. In his dream, he woke covered in glue. Aaaahhh!!! He threw back the covers to find that pesky glue covered horse head at his feet. Thank goodness it was only a dream.

    Richard put on his new kitten head pajamas to please Lola. Sure enough, as he had predicted, they caused him nightmares!. In his dream, Lola was shocked to find the house full of little ginger kittens, and she asked Richard for an explanation of where they came from. Thank goodness it was only a dream.

    Jack nightmare POV_Right Eye POV Camera SAVE.jpg
    2000 x 1500 - 1M
    Lola Kittens Richard Nightmare_003_Camera 1 PS.jpg
    2000 x 1500 - 2M
    Post edited by barbult on
  • Oh dear, poor Richard.

     

     

     

    Poor Jack, too, of course.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Oh dear, poor Richard.

     

     

     

    Poor Jack, too, of course.

    Of course. Considerate of you to include him in your afterthoughts. 

  • We had one kitten, that was a certain amount of work. Then we had two together. That was at least four times as much work as one. Given the squared relationship, I fear to think how much extra work that number of kittens would be. Best of luck to you, RichardH.
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    richardandtracy said:

    We had one kitten, that was a certain amount of work. Then we had two together. That was at least four times as much work as one. Given the squared relationship, I fear to think how much extra work that number of kittens would be. Best of luck to you, RichardH.

    Luckily, it was just a nightmare. 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085
    edited August 2025

    The Horse is Done

    Jack: (waking relieved to see no glue and no horse head.) Yikes it's late. The rest of the family is already up. I'd better shower and get out to the garage to paint that horse. I set it up on the drop cloth, ready to go, last night. Richard will be over for afternoon tea in a few hours. He'll want to get the horse then.

    Jack drags himself to the garage...

    Milly: Look, Papa! I finished the horse for you. This horse loves me. I want to keep him forever. He's mine!
    Jack: Uh Oh... We'll have to talk to Richard about that.

    Horse ready to paint_001_Default Camera.jpg
    2000 x 1500 - 2M
    Post edited by barbult on
  • That horse is definitely a "paint" now - ideal fro riding out west. Now, having had a scare from the kittens perhapsssss I might be more accomodating about the demands of a single human child re horse-ownership.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    That horse is definitely a "paint" now - ideal fro riding out west. Now, having had a scare from the kittens perhapsssss I might be more accomodating about the demands of a single human child re horse-ownership.

    That would be very generous of you, but then you're that kind of cat. 

  • barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    That horse is definitely a "paint" now - ideal fro riding out west. Now, having had a scare from the kittens perhapsssss I might be more accomodating about the demands of a single human child re horse-ownership.

    That would be very generous of you, but then you're that kind of cat. 

    I did consider thanking Jack by bringing Milly a stetson when I come over for tea...

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085
    edited August 2025

    Tea and Negotiation

    Richard showed up at Jack's house for Wednesday afternoon tea, as usual. This time, he was prepared to take his mended horse back home. (Note: Since Jack's wife has once again banned Richard from entering the house, Richard and Jack always have their tea outside on the patio or out back on the picnic table.)

    Jack: Richard, I've got a problem.
    Richard: So do I.
    Jack: OK, you go first.
    Richard: Did you tell anyone about what I told you happened in Dodge City? 
    Jack: Not yet, but it's a great story worth sharing.
    Richard:  Well Lola bought me some new pajamas with little orange kitten faces on them. She said the kittens looked just like me. That sounded mighty familiar. If you haven't told her about the posse and the kittens, just keep it a secret. I don't want to give her any reason to doubt my honorable character. So, what problem is bothering you?
    Jack: I got your horse all cleaned up and put back together, but then Milly latched on to it, scribbled all over it with her crayons, and calls it her own. She wants to keep it forever, because your horse loves her! Let's make a deal. I'll keep your secrets about Dodge City, if you'll let Milly keep your horse.
    Richard: Well, I guess that is a fair trade. I think my cowboy days are behind me. I'm an excellent equestrian. I have nothing left to prove in that regard. So, I guess it's time for Milly to learn to ride.
    Jack: Thank you, Richard, you're very generous.
    Richard: I'm an excellent philanthropist.

    Tea and Negitiation.jpg
    2600 x 2000 - 4M
    Post edited by barbult on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    That horse is definitely a "paint" now - ideal fro riding out west. Now, having had a scare from the kittens perhapsssss I might be more accomodating about the demands of a single human child re horse-ownership.

    That would be very generous of you, but then you're that kind of cat. 

    I did consider thanking Jack by bringing Milly a stetson when I come over for tea...

    Oh, I didn't see your message in time before I posted. Maybe you were preoccupied and forgot the hat. Anyway, it is all turning out well for everyone. 

  • Ooooh, Jack was sneaky (except, of course, I just wanted an excuse to let Milly have the horse. Obviously.)

    I would consider giving her a toy six-shooter to reward Jack, but it is possibly going to be a while before I feel entirely happy around guns that go bang (or pop).

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Ooooh, Jack was sneaky (except, of course, I just wanted an excuse to let Milly have the horse. Obviously.)

    I would consider giving her a toy six-shooter to reward Jack, but it is possibly going to be a while before I feel entirely happy around guns that go bang (or pop).

    You could give her your dart gun - the one you shot your horse with when you were showing Lola what an excellent marksman you were. After all, Milly has the horse now. She might has well have the gun too. (Poor horse!) 

  • barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Ooooh, Jack was sneaky (except, of course, I just wanted an excuse to let Milly have the horse. Obviously.)

    I would consider giving her a toy six-shooter to reward Jack, but it is possibly going to be a while before I feel entirely happy around guns that go bang (or pop).

    You could give her your dart gun - the one you shot your horse with when you were showing Lola what an excellent marksman you were. After all, Milly has the horse now. She might has well have the gun too. (Poor horse!) 

    Ah, yes - that should delight her (and Jack).

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Ooooh, Jack was sneaky (except, of course, I just wanted an excuse to let Milly have the horse. Obviously.)

    I would consider giving her a toy six-shooter to reward Jack, but it is possibly going to be a while before I feel entirely happy around guns that go bang (or pop).

    You could give her your dart gun - the one you shot your horse with when you were showing Lola what an excellent marksman you were. After all, Milly has the horse now. She might has well have the gun too. (Poor horse!) 

    Ah, yes - that should delight her (and Jack).

    On second thought, Jack's wife would probably ban you from all their lives and property forever. Gosh, she has no sense of adventure.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085
    edited August 2025

    I Love you, Richard

    Milly grabs Richard and gives him a huge hug. Richard tries to purr in response, but Milly has hugged all the air out of his lungs.

    Milly: I love you Richard. Thank you for the pretty horse.

    (Don't worry. Milly will put Richard down before he passes out from lack of oxygen.)

    Milly Hugs Richard_001_Camera 1.jpg
    2000 x 1500 - 3M
    Post edited by barbult on
  • barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Ooooh, Jack was sneaky (except, of course, I just wanted an excuse to let Milly have the horse. Obviously.)

    I would consider giving her a toy six-shooter to reward Jack, but it is possibly going to be a while before I feel entirely happy around guns that go bang (or pop).

    You could give her your dart gun - the one you shot your horse with when you were showing Lola what an excellent marksman you were. After all, Milly has the horse now. She might has well have the gun too. (Poor horse!) 

    Ah, yes - that should delight her (and Jack).

    On second thought, Jack's wife would probably ban you from all their lives and property forever. Gosh, she has no sense of adventure.

    I don't know, she has been pretty intrepid pursuing me with a broom.

  • barbult said:

    I Love you, Richard

    Milly grabs Richard and gives him a huge hug. Richard tries to purr in response, but Milly has hugged all the air out of his lungs.

    Milly: I love you Richard. Thank you for the pretty horse.

    (Don't worry. Milly will put Richard down before he passes out from lack of oxygen.)

    Oof.

  • backgroundbackground Posts: 906

    For a small child, a drum and a trumpet are great gifts ( even better if there are twins ), so long as you don't have to live there.

  • memcneil70memcneil70 Posts: 5,912

    And the giver will never be invited again.

  • backgroundbackground Posts: 906

    Oh that's why I don't hear from that family any more!

  • background said:

    For a small child, a drum and a trumpet are great gifts ( even better if there are twins ), so long as you don't have to live there.

    I was trying to stay on theme  with the horse and western setting though, otherwise that is an excellent idea and I will make a note for future use.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085
    edited August 2025

    Pogo Stick?

    Richard: (to himself) Well, time to go home. I hate the idea of walking all the way back. I thought I'd be able to ride my horse back. Oh, look! Jack has a Pogo stick out here in the garage. I'll just borrow it and bring it back next Wednesday. Hey, it has a motor! I won't even have to wear my legs out hopping. This is awesome - even better than riding a horse! it's awful noisy, though, and the ride is a little rough.

    Richard with Pogo Stick on Driveway.jpg
    2600 x 2000 - 4M
    Post edited by barbult on
  • Well, Jack did want to try it out - by proxy is better than nothing.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Well, Jack did want to try it out - by proxy is better than nothing.

    I hope Jack was planning to tear up that concrete slab and put down pavers. Maybe you are being more helpful that anyone realizes. 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085
    edited August 2025

    ROLF!

    Inspiration comes from many places. Thank you, Mary, Richard, and Simon.
    Richard can't stop twitching after riding the jackhammer "Pogo stick" all the way home.

    Richard ROLF_002_Camera 1.jpg
    2600 x 2000 - 2M
    Post edited by barbult on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,085

    I like the way these stories get me to use things in my library. My husband was the one who mentioned using a jackhammer. I went looking for one in the store and discovered that I already had purchased it. I wonder when and why that happened? The old battered furniture in this latest render is something I bought from my wishlist very recently, so I used it. It seems to go with the linoleum idea. The "linoleum" in the scene is a Filter Forge texture.

Sign In or Register to comment.