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Nap Time
Richard Haseltine: I just kicked a few of these stuffed animals out of the way and now I have a nice nap spot. I love it when Grandma scratches me behind my ears. It is so relaxing. Zzzzzzzzzz...
[Thanks to "Other-Richard" for the sleeping cat pose.]
Ah, that looks much better.
A Swinging Good Time
Richard got bored with stuffed animals, and he heard laughter next door. He hopped out of the crib and went out to play with the boy next door. I hope Richard doesn't suffer from motion sickness on that tree swing.
[OK, these are not exciting stories. While waiting for inspiration, I'm playing with things I've purchased and haven't used yet. I'm following my often repeated motto: "Any render with Richard Haseltine is better than a render without Richard Haseltine."
]
Do my legs look extra skinny there?
I wondered is that was it, I haven't used Filament that much (and didn't realise how skinny I was under the fluff).
Have you ever given a cat a bath? They look scrawny with their fur all soaked down. That reminds me. "You" had a nice bubble bath after the solvent incident at Ron's apartment.
See other Richard's answer re cat bathing. Though some of them have come in pretty sliicked down from rain.
And now we return to Richard in the funnel...
Jack walks into the Daz+ lab and sees Richard Haseltine upside down, head first, in the funnel.
Jack: Richard, what the heck???!!! This is the Daz+ lab where we crank out black rooms by the dozen. What are you doing in here? And why on earth are you in the funnel?
Richard: Get me out of here! It's all barbult's fault. I said fun; she heard funnel.
Jack: If I turn the funnel upside down and shake it vigorously, gravity should free you...Huh, you're stuck tight.
Image later. The forum won't upload anything for me now.
I've tried multiple times. It seems to be dead again. They must have fixed something. The image uploads in a couple seconds now.
Blow Hard
Jack: Maybe if I blow in the little end, you'll pop out the big end...Nope. My mouth isn't big enough to make enough wind force. We need someone else. Maybe Rob.
Still Stuck
Rob: My mouth is way too big and my teeth are way too sharp to seal around this funnel end.
Jack: What can we do now? Who else can we call?
Jack and Rob (in unison): Lola!
If you were to poke a cucumber into the small end I think Richard would suddenly find the means to escape. ( In real-life, never scare your cat with a cucumber, but since it's only Richard it would probably be ok ).
Just connect a high preassure air compressor to the funnels small end, and Richard will be the first cat orbiting the moon :-)
Oooh, lots of cheese.
Nope, I'm afraid not. Wallace and Gromit ate the lot years ago, which is why the moon looks white now instead of the Wensleydale Yellow it's supposed to be.
It Takes a Woman
So, the guys call Lola to come and help get Richard out of the funnel. After all, she was the one to rescue the Daz server when it went black, and Jack nearly froze to death. She has a history of saving the day.
Lola: You guys are ridiculous. All you have to do is reach in and slide him out of the BIG END.
Jack: Gosh, we never thought of that!
Rob: You make it look so easy.
(No cucumbers or other vegetables required.)
Well, sure - if you want to take the easy route. Though cats tend to have balky reverse gears.
I'm waiting for Richard to 'accidenatally' cause chaos. We know he's at his best in a crisis, and what better way to demonstrate his strengths than for him to initiate the crisis if there isn't one in progress.
Maybe Richard needs a nemesis... like um, 'Monty'.. Picture the scene Richard is tied down while the laser beam inches closer...
Richard "I suppose you expect me to talk?"
Monty "No Mr Heseltine, I expect you to" drringggg dringggg ( telephone )
Monty "Hello? Yes this is he"
Monty "Look I kind of busy right now taunting a captive" .... "Well no it's not convenient to be honest , and I don't really need a timeshare"
Monty " Look I know it's a good deal but you've really spoiled the moment, and If I don't turn off the laser quickly .. er oops".
Under Lola's careful guidance, I'm sure you can reverse gears with no problem. I imagine you regret having failed in your attempt at a narrow escape, but I do believe a wide escape was best this time.
Oh, you want chaos?
Well, I wasn't headed in that direction, but perhaps that can be arranged yet. However, Richard must always survive to live another adventure another day, so that "oops laser" is OUT!
(Monty should buy that timeshare. Maybe then he would torture himself for that decision, rather than torture poor cats.)
A Good Stretch
Lola: Let's go home, Richard.
Richard: Ah, it feels good to stretch out after being balled up in the funnel for so long. This center hump under my back really arches me up and feels great.
(Thanks to Other-Richard for the nice flat cat stretch pose.)
Flashing his bits again I see :-D
I don't know what it is that Richard has over Lola, but whatever it is, I sure wish he'd bottle and sell it to those of us less sucessful with the ladies!
Hmm, I hope Lola doesn't have to brake suddenly - I might have to dig my claws in to save myself (I have excellent reactions).
That's another way of Richard being catapulted like a missile.
Oooh, a lot of activity here while I was off rendering chaos! Cat nudity is allowed in the forum, and Richard is not unnecessarily modest. He is not overly fond of clothes, except when necessary to disguise himself as human or please Lola by wearing the pajamas she bought him. A fur coat is all he really needs on most days like today.
Chaos on Main Street
Lola braked suddenly when the light on the corner of Main Street turned red. Richard was catapulted over the front seat and into Lola's lap.
Lola: Oh! Richard you scared me!
Richard: I'd better drive. I'm an excellent driver.
Lola: (amidst lots of honking and public screaming): Richard! You turned the wrong way onto a one way street! Stop! This is chaos!!
(Hm... How did Richard reach the gas pedal? I bet when he startled Lola by landing in her lap, she took her foot of of the brake and the car rolled forward and he turned the steering wheel to the right. Yeah, we'll go with that.)
It doesn't help that the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car, and the cars are on the wrong side of the road.
With a one way street, is there a wrong side of the road?
Yes, both sides.
Ah, I can see your interpretation of the situation.