barbult's take on the lives of Jack and Richard

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Comments

  • memcneil70memcneil70 Posts: 5,993

    How clean is the floor now?

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    I just washed my fur and now I can't do a thing with it.

    Also, I have a feeling that that was not a single-use mini-bottle of bubble bath

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    How clean is the floor now?

    Who can see the floor?
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    I just washed my fur and now I can't do a thing with it.

    Also, I have a feeling that that was not a single-use mini-bottle of bubble bath

    I think it was the 16 ounce value size.
  • backgroundbackground Posts: 920
    edited January 18

    I certainly hope cat hairs haven't blocked the drain, otherwise you might need a leaf-blower.

    Post edited by background on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 19

    I Spilled A Bit of Water

    Richard Haseltine: I washed my fur and now I can't do a thing with it.
    Lola (engrossed in her book): It's probably still damp. I'm sure it'll be fine.
    Richard Haseltine: I spilled a bit of water on the bathroom floor. I couldn't reach the towels on the rack to mop it up.
    Lola: It'll probably evaporate. If not, I'll get a rag and wipe it up after I finish this chapter.
    Richard Haseltine: OK, I'm going back to Ron's apartment to see if he still has those lovely boxes from UPS. I can't get them out of my mind. 
    Lola: Have fun; don't get in any mischief.

     

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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    background said:

    I certainly hope cat hairs haven't blocked the drain, otherwise you might need a leaf-blower.

    It is quite possible that the drain could be somewhat clogged with cat hair, although all the extensions had already fallen out, so we may be in the clear. 

  • Our 8 month old Maine Coon kitten looked like that after 6 minutes in the rain.

    Regards,

    Richard

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,694

    Uh-oh. I should have gotten rid of those boxes!

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    Ron Knights said:

    Uh-oh. I should have gotten rid of those boxes!

    That would probably have been wisest.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 20

    The Toms

    Richard went out the door to head to Ron's. Waiting on the front steps were five ginger tomcats. One spoke up - he must have been the leader.

    Tom: Hello, I'm Tom. Are you Richard? You look a little different than I remember. Do you remember us? Miss Kitty is our mama. She said it is time for us to go out on our own, and you could give us some tips for being successful in the world. 
    Richard: Yes, I'm Richard Haseltine. I remember you all as tiny kittens. I have a wealth of worldly experience that I can share with you. The most important thing is to find a good human who can serve you. A good one will give you a warm safe place to live, buy you tuna to eat, feed you treats, pet you, love you, and give you freedom to have adventures. Mine is named Lola.
    Tom: That's good advice, Richard. Let me introduce my brothers. Here are Tommy, Thomas, Tom-Boy and Tomalin - he's the runt of the litter.
    Richard: Tomalin! Oh my, I know already who is the perfect human to serve you. Her name is Milly. She's small, too.


     

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  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    Nominative determinism in action

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,694

    Looking great as usual.

    I'm letting the paint dry on Richard's portrait.

    I'll probably scan it in the morning. If you're interested, I'd be glad to get you a copy of the scan.

    Just tell me where you want to receive it.

     

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Nominative determinism in action

    Another amazing thing you know about that I never heard of. I had to look it up. Yes, you are right, for sure.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 20

    The Cats Go Marching Two By Two

    Richard Haseltine: Let's take the shortcut through the Bazaar, to go to Milly's house, to get Tomalin settled in the home I have selected for him. Milly's father is Jack, and he and I are BFFs. We have tea together every Wednesday afternoon, so I will be able to check in on Tomalin and make sure he is settling in well. I will be able to give him additional tips, like how to wiggle free when Milly hugs a little too tight and a little too long. I gave Milly my old horse. Tomalin can learn to ride. He'll have a great time there.

    [The bright warm sun is already calming Richard's wild wet fur. Soon he will look like his fine normal self.]
     

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  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    "We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of daz" and we will defintitelyignore the man behind the curtain, unless it suits us to do otherwise.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 21

    Tomalin Gets a Forever Home

    Richard Haseltine: OK, here we are at Milly's home. Tomalin, you go back there into the garden. When Milly comes out to play, make sure she sees you. The rest of us will hide out here and watch what happens. Be your most lovable charming self. You've seen me. Be like me.

    A few minutes pass. Milly comes out to the garden. Jack is not far behind. 

    Milly: Papa, look at the little kitty I found in our garden. He was drinking from the fountain. I think he needs us to feed him. He wants to live here. He's the same color as Richard. I'm going to call him Little Richard.
    Jack: Well, I think you're old enough to have a pet now. But I don't think calling him Little Richard is a good idea. You know how your mother feels about Richard Haseltine. She calls him TROUBLE. I think this cat should have a name that doesn't remind her of Richard Haseltine.
    Tomalin: Tomalin!
    Milly:  Papa, Listen! When he meows, it sounds like "Tomalin"!
    Jack: OK, Tomalin shall be his name. He is Tomalin Tomalin now.
    Richard: OK, guys. Milly already loves Tomalin, and Jack has said she can keep him. So he's all settled. I knew Milly would be perfect for him. Let's go to Ron's now. That is where I was headed before you showed up. I think Ron has boxes.
    The Toms: Boxes! Boxes Let's go!

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  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,694

    Uh-oh! smiley

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    Ron Knights said:

    Uh-oh! smiley

    Oh, you love animals. Everything sould be fine. Well, as fine as it can be when Richard is involved. 

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,694

    Yeah, I love animals. But don't tell Richard!

    laugh

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    Aww, a happy ending. See, I am an excellent match-maker.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    Aww, a happy ending. See, I am an excellent match-maker.

    One down, four to go. Keep up the excellent work.
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 22

    The Origin of Boxes

    Richard: Here we are at Ron's building, across from the park. Ah, see that brown truck at the curb? That is a good sign. This is a good time for me to educate you about where boxes come from. You may think that boxes just magically appear at your doorstep, but that is not the whole story. Last time I was at Ron's apartment, I got the scoop: Your human tells the Big River Company that you want a box. So the Big River Company sends a clumsy man in a brown truck to bring you a box or two. I saw how the man dropped those precious boxes all over the floor. Ron said the clumsy man was called the "U" "P" "S" man. I guess Ron can't spell OOPS, but it is a fitting title for such a clumsy guy. Next, your human takes some junk out of your box to empty it. Then the box is ready for you to play with. So, when you see the brown truck at your house, that is a lucky day!

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  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    I am also excellent at logical analysis, positively Holmesian.

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,694
    edited January 22

    Oh my. I'll be visited by all those beautiful (handsome?!) cats!?

    I've been suffering from a pulled back muscle for a few days. I hope to get a new prescription for a muscle relaxant in the next day or so.

    Until then, I hope Richard and family don't make me scream or laugh too much.

    Oh Richard, that was a neat "cat naming" story!

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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    Richard Haseltine said:

    I am also excellent at logical analysis, positively Holmesian.

    You do have a unique way to interpret what you observe, such as the snow cat.  Your list of excellences is ever growing. smiley

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 22

    Lift Me Up

    Richard: Ok, boys, listen up. Behind this metal curtain is a mysterious floor that goes up and down. To get to Ron and his boxes, we have to go far up. The problem is, we are too short to reach the buttons to make it do our bidding. There are a couple things we can do.

    1. We can get a running start and leap up and try to hit the button, but then when the curtain opens, we can run inside and do the whole run and leap and button thing again. But the problem is, it is easy to hit the wrong button and go someplace we didn't want to go. This is very error prone.
    2. We can lurk over in the corner here and wait for a human to come and press the button. Then when the curtain opens, we dash inside. The human will be so entranced by his phone that he won't notice us. Then we hope he goes all the way to the top. If not, we have to try again. This is very error prone.

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  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 110,964

    The errors can, of course, be serendipitous.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268

    Richard Haseltine said:

    The errors can, of course, be serendipitous.

    Well, I suppose you could, by chance, mis-navigate to a mysterious new world. Perhaps that will happen on the way down. Hmmm. The possibilities!

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 27,268
    edited January 23

    A Better Way

    Thomas: I think I know a better way, Richard! Have you heard of the Bremen Town Musicians?
    Tom-Boy: That's right. We do that when Mama is not looking and we want to get a treat out of the cupboard.
    Tom: We always put Tomalin on top, but today you can be on top. You know what to press.
    Tommy: Tom goes first. Then me. Then Tom-Boy. Then Thomas. Then you, Richard.
    Richard: Huh? You'll have to show me. I'm not very musical. I gave my trumpet and drum to Milly.

    In a tower of paws and tails, Richard reached for the Up button. He pressed.

    Richard: I got it! The curtain is opening. Run inside. 


     

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