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barbult's take on the lives of Jack and Richard

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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    edited January 16

    Snake!!

    Richard made his way home to wash the solvent off of his body. His tail was "normal" looking again - no more tinsel or LEDs. They were all washed off by the solvent in Ron's apartment. Such an unfortunate accident.  

    Richard Haseltine (entering the home he shared with his girlfriend, Lola):  I'm home. Lola, there's a snake on your neck! Don't worry, I'll get it!

    Richard leaped into the air to attack the snake at Lola's neck.

    Lola (snatching Richard mid-flight): Richard, STOP! It's only jewelry. It's the latest Fabiana creation. I just had to have it. Hey, what happened to your tinsel tail?!

    Richard Haseltine (hanging his head, could only say one word): solvent.

    Lola Snake on Neck_Camera 1.jpg
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    Post edited by barbult on
  • richardandtracyrichardandtracy Posts: 7,363

    Yeah, that snake is almost totally irresisable.

    Regards,

    Richard

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 109,102

    I did grab it from the store, without damaging it. 

    I'm sure Lola appreciates my stalwart defence.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439

    Richard Haseltine said:

    I did grab it from the store, without damaging it. 

    I'm sure Lola appreciates my stalwart defence.

    I'm sure she does. She loves you. 

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353

    I have the perfect idea for a portrait of Richard. I think everyone will love him.

    I'll likely start the portrait after lunch on Saturday.

    smiley

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    Great!
  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353

    I had an inspiration for Richard's portrait. I woke up at 5:30 AM and couldn't get back to sleep.

    I turned on the computer near where I do my acrylic painting. Immediately I was swamped with numerous calls for updates of various apps, and Windows 11.

    Then other things went wrong. I tried sketching Richard, but admitted I really don't know how to draw.

    I also had to admit that booze really keeps me confused.

    I hadn't had anything to drink for a couple days. I'll give away my remaining bottle of scotch and Coors Light cans this weekend.

    Maybe my head will clear up in another couple days,

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    That sounds like a responsible plan, Ron. I'm proud of you for putting your health first. I think your improved health has contributed to your overall satisfaction and enjoyment of life.
  • David RDavid R Posts: 470

    barbult said:

    I don't want to stray too far from the life of Richard Haseltine, but I was out in my backyard this afternoon with my camera, (it was about 80 degrees F.) I saw several critters.

    • A lizard was on the dirty porch screen.
    • A squirrel was roaming in the grass looking for food.
    • A hawk (I think) flew overhead. It was sudden and unexpected. My shutter speed was too slow to stop the motion.
    • Then I saw a raccoon. Then he saw me. Then he started running in my direction. But luckily he just ran up a tree and not up me! He did look poised to leap off at me, though, so I went inside!

    If you live in Florida, daytime raccoon sightings are fairly common.  I see them all the time out my office window.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    edited January 17
    Yes, David R, I live in Florida. Our yard is 1 acre, and the back quarter is natural and unlandscaped. I think critters live back there and wander out from time to time.
    Post edited by barbult on
  • RainRain Posts: 353

    David R said:

    barbult said:

    I don't want to stray too far from the life of Richard Haseltine, but I was out in my backyard this afternoon with my camera, (it was about 80 degrees F.) I saw several critters.

    • A lizard was on the dirty porch screen.
    • A squirrel was roaming in the grass looking for food.
    • A hawk (I think) flew overhead. It was sudden and unexpected. My shutter speed was too slow to stop the motion.
    • Then I saw a raccoon. Then he saw me. Then he started running in my direction. But luckily he just ran up a tree and not up me! He did look poised to leap off at me, though, so I went inside!

    If you live in Florida, daytime raccoon sightings are fairly common.  I see them all the time out my office window.

    I live in Vancouver, BC. They're out here all day too.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    edited January 18

    I'm Gonna Wash That Solvent Right Outta My Hair

    Since Richard learned that he was an excellent swimmer, he is no longer afraid of water. Off to the bathroom he goes, to wash away the solvent all over his body.

    Richard Haseltine: This steam jacuzzi is great. I only used one bottle of Lola's bubble bath. I hope that was enough.

     

    Richard Jacuzzi Bath_002_Default Camera PS.jpg
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    Post edited by barbult on
  • memcneil70memcneil70 Posts: 5,529

    How clean is the floor now?

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 109,102

    I just washed my fur and now I can't do a thing with it.

    Also, I have a feeling that that was not a single-use mini-bottle of bubble bath

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    memcneil70 said:

    How clean is the floor now?

    Who can see the floor?
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    Richard Haseltine said:

    I just washed my fur and now I can't do a thing with it.

    Also, I have a feeling that that was not a single-use mini-bottle of bubble bath

    I think it was the 16 ounce value size.
  • backgroundbackground Posts: 624
    edited January 18

    I certainly hope cat hairs haven't blocked the drain, otherwise you might need a leaf-blower.

    Post edited by background on
  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353

    I gave away my scotch, beer, candy and other sweet stuff.

    My friends will enjoy it, and I'll get my sugar levels down to normal. Next, I need to give up the wonderful desert after lunch.

    Once my head clears, I'll try once again to do a portrait of Richard!

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439

    Ron Knights said:

    I gave away my scotch, beer, candy and other sweet stuff.

    My friends will enjoy it, and I'll get my sugar levels down to normal. Next, I need to give up the wonderful desert after lunch.

    Once my head clears, I'll try once again to do a portrait of Richard!

    Sounds good. I look forward to seeing what you come up with. It doesn't have to be an exact likeness (especially since we've never seen a photo of him). Go for your own style. I like it.

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353

    Well, I'll tell you now, the portrait is of his feline identity.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    Ron Knights said:

    Well, I'll tell you now, the portrait is of his feline identity.

    Of course! That is the only identity we know. Is there any other?
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    edited January 19

    I Spilled A Bit of Water

    Richard Haseltine: I washed my fur and now I can't do a thing with it.
    Lola (engrossed in her book): It's probably still damp. I'm sure it'll be fine.
    Richard Haseltine: I spilled a bit of water on the bathroom floor. I couldn't reach the towels on the rack to mop it up.
    Lola: It'll probably evaporate. If not, I'll get a rag and wipe it up after I finish this chapter.
    Richard Haseltine: OK, I'm going back to Ron's apartment to see if he still has those lovely boxes from UPS. I can't get them out of my mind. 
    Lola: Have fun; don't get in any mischief.

     

    Richard Suds Scene_001_Camera 2.jpg
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    Post edited by barbult on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439

    background said:

    I certainly hope cat hairs haven't blocked the drain, otherwise you might need a leaf-blower.

    It is quite possible that the drain could be somewhat clogged with cat hair, although all the extensions had already fallen out, so we may be in the clear. 

  • richardandtracyrichardandtracy Posts: 7,363

    Our 8 month old Maine Coon kitten looked like that after 6 minutes in the rain.

    Regards,

    Richard

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353

    Uh-oh. I should have gotten rid of those boxes!

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 109,102

    Ron Knights said:

    Uh-oh. I should have gotten rid of those boxes!

    That would probably have been wisest.

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353
    edited January 19

    This is a preliminary look at Richard's "portrait." As you can see, Richard is dropping toward a spot of trouble.

    I'm having some trouble doing this fun project. I started with Acrylic paint markers, but they proved woefully inadequate.

    I switched to acrylic paints. It's looking better, but it's lacking the fine details that Richard's fur deserves.

    I've been battling a terrible pain in my lower back. 

    It only hurts when I breathe, sneeze, laugh or move.... Incredibly intense.

    I am having fun. I wish I might have kept the alcohol.

     

    richard shark sm.jpg
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    Post edited by Ron Knights on
  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,439
    edited January 19
    We know Richard can swim. I hope he can swim fast! I think his fur looks fine. I don't think you need to do anything more to it.
    Post edited by barbult on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 109,102

    Certainly looks like I will have an incentive - though sharkskin would probably be good for claw-sharpening.

  • Ron KnightsRon Knights Posts: 2,353

    Barbult, thanks for the compliment. I did fiddle with it a bit more.

    Right now I'm letting the paint dry.

    I might get back to my acrylic portrait of Marlin Fingle.

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