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...no ants, no "skeeters" fortunately, but yet another heatwave, already 96° (F) and the hottest part of the day is usually in about another two hours or so. The tough part is humids tend increase late at night into early morning to around 75%. making for sleepless nights.
Did have a serious ant issue at the last place where I lived (a shared house) but the reason was pretty obvious as the owners would leave dirty dishes and cookware sit in the sink and on the counters for days (and they had a working dishwasher). That was the reason my collection of resealable containers grew to where it is now..
I would love it if that would work. Unfortunately, part of what he likes is that the one-piece with attached feet keeps everything in place, so his shirt isn't riding up, and his pants aren't shifting around (it's wretchedly hard to find properly fitting pants for him because manufacturers stop adding room for diaper bulk once you're out of toddler sizes, and just taking the waistband in is unacceptable to him. Tried kilts... hard pass). And although they make cotton sleepers for babies and toddlers, once you get to big kid sizes the only thing I've been able to find is fleece. He'll wear a shirt and pants if we're going out of the house, but not generally if we're in it. I was super surprised it worked that day. Once things have been established in his head as This Is How Things Happen, it's pretty much written in stone.
Heck, I wear a chenille sweater in the house year round because apparently it's his lovey, and it has to be on me for it to work. But hey, if it helps with the meltdown recovery, it's worth it. My heart hurts for him that the world can be so overwhelming that things that seem like no big deal to most folk are enough to completely capsize his day.
On the bright side, though, a lot of manufacturers are getting better about making sensory-friendly seams and not sewing in tags, so at least we have that going for us.
For my part, I'm usually sleepless in 45-ish minutes south of Seattle.
One upon a time, when I was younger I burnt the candle from both ends. And, while travelling, I got sleepless in hotel rooms. Home meant a good nights sleep. I have been a light sleeper my entire life. But as we get older we sleep less, or more. My older dogs sleep much more than they ever did, especially those near the end. Maybe sleeplessness is a good thing . . . ?
I see, oh my. Children do be complicated, no? I can hardly manage the cat and rabbitses, let alone a tiny human being! Although the animals do have a mind of their own, and the talking is - usually I suppose at least - easier to a toddler than to the-cat-that-does-not-want-to-move.
Maybe children like your son should be able to get vests and stockings with garters that tie directly to the vest, like kids used to have in the olden days - I forget the name exactly. Hm, or one could sew ribbons to a shirt? But that doesn't seem overly practical.
Heh... I find the talking works about as well with Little Dude as it has with the four-legged kids. Though he's started using words a little, especially with his sibling, so hopefully time and patience will help things get easier.
The best I've been able to figure out is that he just has limited processing power, like a computer. And the more that's taken up by things like managing disruptions in routine, and clothes that are bothering him, and other people inserting themselves into his space (instead of waiting for him to come to them, like a cat), the less processing power he has for things like language and working on new skills. Poor kid is just perpetually low on RAM, I think. So a lot of my day is trying to see what bumps I can anticipate and smooth for him so he can put his energy towards growth instead of survival.
In the meantime, though, he's decided to heck with clothes altogether and is just running around in his pull-ups. Why not, right? Less laundry for me! I'm there for it!
Love your picture with the low RAM, now I see him as a cute little robot rambling through the house and occasionally going 'bleeeeeeep' if something's overtaxing the system
. And clothes are overrated anyway, right?
LOL you're actually not far off the mark... he often sort of rambles around the house, tablet in tow, making whatever noises the tablet is making. The first imitation noise he made wasn't a dog, or a cat, or a duck, or any of that stuff.
It was the paper shredder.
But yes, clothes are definitely overrated when I have to wash them. Elder child went through a naked phase, too, though a bit younger. Doesn't work so well in the winter, but at the moment it's a solid life choice.
NylonBitch. But I suppose if the word isn't allowed in a screen name then it isn't allowed in a forum post either. But now I don't really remember if I actually tried that user name or just assumed it wouldn't work.
How old is the little dude?
Edit: Your kid sounds so ,much like my kid back in 1980's
I guess we will find out on the forum usage
it varies a lot by person
one forum regular can use a word that's offensive in his country which I cannot though it isn't offensive at all in mine
Physically he's 7, but his most recent assessments with his psych team put him at about 15 months developmentally, plus the extra support needs that go with the rest of his ASD parfait. So basically I have a 60-lb toddler.
I don't know if it's because I spend so much time with computers or not, but I do think this explanation has made more sense to me than any other about this subject.
I'm glad it resonated. :) I like the idea behind spoon theory, and I do use it because it's something a lot of people are familiar with, but I feel like it lacks nuance.
It levels out later but not entirely. My son is 45. When he was a six-eight years old Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto Ontario, told me he would never color within the lines or write within a 3 inch space. I accepted the fact he would be always dependent on me. They were wrong. He has an above average IQ is married, divorced and remarried (Dad to 8 kids including step kids) but sttill acts younger than his years and is totally independent. But it was along tough road. He still rocks like Bill gates especially when he is nervous or deep in thought, He's good looking and has a brilliant mind so the rocking catches people off guard and the thought processing route is shorter as in think-act skipping the in between what if scenarios that most humans process. He kept me awake more nights than I care to remember. Hanging from the closet throwing hangers like airboirne missiles. Climbing dresser drawers until the dresser toppled over. His father also had sleep walking issues where he would act out dreams and apparently it runs thru their family. I could tell you a thousand stories but I won't. I will tell you this it does get easier. He was always is special schools and I think that was the worst of times. Back then teachers were ignorant and inexperienced with these disorders, and classmates were horrid. But he survived and so did I. Stay strong!
Thank you so much for your encouragement and BTDT voice of experience. I'm blessed that I've been able to patch together the ability to be home with him, as given his parfait of stuff that's really best, so at least I don't have the external school-type stuff to contend with (just having to fight the administrators and with the homeschool regulations and such). I try to take it one day at a time and not worry too much about what the future will or won't look like, as there's just no way to know, but there are those fears (mostly what happens to him when someday I'm no longer here to care for him). He's clever, and a problem solver. I think if I could just figure out how to make all the base level stuff not run him down so much...
Lately he's claimed my closet as his own personal fort, and it seems to help him to have a place to take himself when he needs some space from other people's input, and yet he still has the security of mom being nearby (and, helps I can keep an eye on him, as he sticks everything in his mouth and needs watched for that). And hey, when he's having fort-time, I get Daz-time!
Out of curiosity, did your son sleep head-on-the-pillow on his bed? I co-sleep with little dude (house only has two bedrooms, 13-year-old gets the other one) and I swear he sleeps any direction on the bed EXCEPT with his head on the pillow (unless he's decided to share my pillow). Crosswise, diagonal, head-to-the-foot, feet where my head go (unfortunately sometimes with my head still there)... there's really no pattern to it.
Of course, he also seems to have made some sort of personal goal to fall asleep in the most awkward non-bed places/positions in the house as well, so maybe that's just part of it?
Sleep? LOL. I'm not sure he knew what sleep was. He slept in the weirdest positions across, head at the base, etc and this continued up to his preteens. People say kids get worse going thru puberty and turn into aliens from another planet. . I felt it was impossible for him to get worse. He, thankfully improved somewhat. He had a closet fort too and was into forts until about age 14. He would cover his ears when there were too many people . . . or noise . . . and I think the quiet of the closet consoled him. He was born deprived of oxygen a preemie forced birth due to issues. When I asked what the doctor what his chances were he told me if my son survived the night he would answer that. They ran blood test (via his feet? To check what they called back then 'Mental Retardation' later they called it minimal brain disorder etc. He underwent an operation, and had tubes attached to his scalp chest etc and post op was under 6 pounds. He had bilateral hernias and there was a strike at the hospital back in the fall of 81 (St. John's Nfld) so I was told to not let him cry and push in the hernia bulges if he started turning blue. No joke. I was petrified. They said once he reached 6 pounds plus they could operate. And the did when he was six weeks old and the hernias would not push back in. Today you would never know he had any disorder because immature adults are fun and acting like 35 when you are 45 is acceptable. When he was aboput 12 or so I found a dog (liked dogs disliked humans) and computers and a telescope helped him develop and hyper focus on more positive things. Each kid is unique and as they grow finding what excites them can be tricky. For several years it was cartoons and rocking on the couch about to launch into outer space. But be it a camera or a telescope or art supplies (yes ugly art smothered my fridge) anything to keep him safely occupied (SIM City helped him vent his anger). Once the doctor (a specialist) told me find something to reward him for even if it's simply how great he was breathing. No joke. I'd clap at the simplest things for other kids that were difficult achievements for him. There were times I had to close the door and give myself a time out so I could breath right and recompose. Later when your dude is a little older put a chart on the fridge give him very simple goals and lots of hugs when he does something positive. Put a star on it and tell him that star means he gets something special or a treat and he gets to chosse one of two or three things. Anything positive. Potty-training could be reward driven but failure shrugged off without punishment. Making a super big deal out of the little things. And yes day by day was truly the only way it was possible to cope. But it was worth it 500%. And yeah I worried 'what happens if I get in a car wreck and he needs me and I'm not there'. This actually happened in my book Shattered (do not read it - not a positive book at all for your situation) and I actually had to choose between two sons. I survived and so did my dude and I am super proud of the person he is (flawed . . . but aren't we all).
@ArtAngel Wow, what a terrifying childhood for you to go through with your son. I'm grateful neither of my (living) kids wound up medically complex in a physical way. (My first just... stopped... six weeks before her due date. No explanation, just "these things happen.")
The sleep thing though, I feel you. I used to joke that my now-teenager was a sleep agnostic: they figured it existed, just couldn't be bothered with it. I was pretty sure my blood type was French Roast after a while. Little Dude sleeps great, just... not in the patterns compatible with the rest of society. Between the two of them, I think pretty much any area I've lucked out with one, I've paid the piper for the other. Keeps a person humble. :)
Those "little" wins are so big, though. We celebrate every single one. You'd never think you'd need to praise your kid for beating his head into a pile of pillows, but it's not the floor.
Today the big-little one was he said "what doing?" to his sibling. He hasn't asked conversational questions like that before...
Hope. It's what hope sounds like.
(We'll see about the potty training. He doesn't seem to cue in to the "before" signals yet, probably because he gets so hyper-focused on whatever he's in the middle of doing. At least I know that one isn't parenting karma... when the older one binge watched "Elmo's Potty Time" for three days straight and toilet trained themself, I had the sense to realize it had nothing to do with my skill and didn't get cocky.)
Sure! Here’s a quirky, attention-grabbing forum post that’s random but fun—perfect for stirring conversation in an off-topic section:
Title: I Just Learned Octopuses Have Three Hearts… and Now I'm Re-Evaluating Everything
Okay so, this started as an innocent dive into ocean trivia during my coffee break, and now I’m spiraling.
Octopuses (yes, that’s the correct plural) have three hearts. TWO pump blood to the gills, and ONE pumps it to the rest of the body. But here's the kicker: the heart that sends blood to the body actually stops beating when they swim.
Imagine if your heart took a break every time you went for a jog. No thanks.
Also, their blood is blue because it’s copper-based. So we’ve got an eight-armed alien with three hearts, blue blood, the ability to camouflage like a chameleon, squeeze through a hole the size of a coin, and potentially open jars better than I can.
Why are we not talking about this more? Why are we not worshipping them as sea wizards?
Anyway, what’s the most random animal fact that made you stop and question the universe for a sec?
Let me know if you want it to be themed (conspiracy-style, sci-fi, philosophical, absurd, etc.) or fit a certain kind of forum!
HP Lovecraft agrees.
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
A while ago, I dreamed up a monster movie about a hybrid of a bear and an octopus. Imagine everything you just said, but it's also super strong, can run fast and climb trees.
...they also have nine brains. one central one and nne for each of the arms.
They also create gardens so the Beatle's song Octopus' Garden is based in fact)
Just looked for some pictures, wow! That sure looks lovely. If it weren't for all the breeding octopuses and probably very hungry between the beautiful anemones ...
If I had ever been an animator, I would've wanted to be one of the ones who worked on Hank in Finding Dori. Straight up the best character in the whole movie. I loved all of them, really, but his sass was fabulous.
(...and I might have trauma bonded with the entire cast of sea creatures during Little Dude's Great Finding Dori Binge of 2023, but I admit I never got sick of that movie... unlike the Snow White and Cinderella marathons his elder sibling did. Such a relief when they moved on to Mulan. Tarzan and Toy Story were pretty brutal, too, because I spend half the movie in tears.)
I'm nowhere near a Pixar-caliber animator, but I have enough experience to tell you that animating Hank was probably an absolute nightmare. I suspect that there wasn't that much keyframing going on, and it was done by building an engine for procedural animation, since Pixar movies have historically been proof-of-concept for some new animation technology.
Meanwhile, I have a Disney Plus subscription and I've seen none of these movies.
I probably wouldn't have except... kids.
I loved Finding Nemo/Dori partly because there's no romantic subplot. (Moana was great for that, too.) And also Ellen's line delivery absolutely cracks me up. (And the octopus, but he's only in the second one.)
The Toy Story movies are fun, but kinda traumatic if you're an adult.
(...and then you get me in the cinema with my kiddo in 2019 when Frozen II came out, and I'm sitting there trying to be subtle about the fact that I'm in tears halfway through, and they leaned over in between bites of candy and told me not to be sad because it was a Disney movie, so they were sure everything would be okay in the end.)
Really, most of the newer ones kind of blow me away with how emotionally (and thematically) sophistocated the plots are. Even if they don't end up being a favorite, I can really respect how far things have come since the "classic" movies. (Or what I consider classic, anyway.)
I seem to remember seeing somewhere that the reason he doesn't have all 8 arms is because the animators noped out of the complexity of dealing with that. So yeah, I'm sure it was a pain and a half, but... still. Awesome character.
I may have lived with/married an Octopus. I am on my 7th husband and have been married to the 7th for 21 years. But up to husband 7, my dating/marriage history sucked! I have paid spouses post separation/divorce and walked away from businesses I owned, and houses I bought prior to the relationship, but never received any alimony or properties from marriages. But one cost me emotionally and financially big time. The closest I came to an Octopus was in Canada when I was married to husband #4. He wasvery sneaky and great at camouflaging the real him. I was his surprised prey. He sucked me in big time. He was super sneaky. Octopuses love toys and to him my son and I were toys. Three hearts triple equated to a very cruel predator. I never understood him, but . . . scientists do not understand an Octopus either. He caused me years of sleeplessness.