The "Powered by Hot Pockets" Complaint Thread
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hazardous to giant ferris wheels
woe starbucks not answering phone. without latte civilization falls
i cant find a johnny sokko helmet. ~ a complaint
duhn duhnduhnduhn aaaye of the tigurrr
t.i. double gg rr
Complaint... I want to go down to the beach, but nobody want to come with me... suddenly kids want to study.
messing in the win10 3d paint. cant figure out how to load a texture on the 3d dohhh
my manager called me into his office. uh oh
complaint are people hoarding saline?
i cant' find replacement cartridges for the eye wash stations
the money transaction service store down the street just closed down per governor's orders. It will be a while before I can add money to my prepaid debit card. Sorry Daz but I can't buy much during March Maddness.
Non-complaint: Music to DAZ by; A musical picture of the life of a river. From its birth as a babbling brook through its growth, the calm periods and the turbulent periods. "Vlatava" or (The Moldau) by Bedrich Smetana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6kqu2mk-Kw
Other non-complaint: I've been taking advantage of the capabilities of my new smart phone. I've downloaded most of the apps for my online activities. I'm now almost totally portable. Also means that I can lie on my deathbed and order things from DAZ and Amazon, instead of having to crawl downstairs to the computer.
need some music to install and convert conternt to carrara
starting a binge watch of buffy and angel, from the beginning.
He's right you know. McAffee is not really needed.
Norton is even worse!
No, the world can and will do just fine without Starbucks, and even without lattes.
And especially will do better without Starbuck's lattes. Ask me how I know.
how do you know?
i slowly starving without the starbuck pbj sammich lunch kit. hungree
on B uffy, Cordelia started out as quite the bratt. she wasnt so intolerable on Angel.
credits says Joss Whedon. is this the same Joss who made Firefly and the Avengers movie?
how come sometimes chrome doesnt restore the pinned tabs?
I'm glad you asked!
The great majority of the world has never had a Starbuck's Latte, that's how I know.
And yet, stuff still happens. People still wake up, do their thing, engage in economic activity, feed and clothe themselves and their children, brush their teeth, do laundry, have real and enduring friendships, own homes and vehicles (yes, a rickshaw counts!), care for family and friends, and go to bed, prepared to do it all over again the next day.
Statistically speaking, and in terms of raw numbers, you are actually among a very very tiny number of people who have had the benefit of having a latte, whether free or one you paid for. I have never had one of these mythical unicorns. For me this is first a matter of taste. Starbucks to me is burnt. Secondly, it's the cost. A daily upper of $3.50 would have, over the course of years, preventd me from achieving my financial goals in life.
And to me, it's more important that I never EVER have to rent my shelter. Never. Ever. Again. This is definitely worth the price of a latte.
Actually now that I think about it, it's all about the cost. The fact that Starbucks coffee tastes like coffee-soaked cardboard baked for an hour under a 500 degree broiler? Well, I just chalk that up to being a life-choice.
And that is how I know.
Would you like a YouTube video on how to make a PBJ without a kit?
Oops, did a "quote" when I should have done an "edit". Fixed now.
warm steamed milk in latte.
just tried to order chinese food for lunch. they not answering the phone.
cant remember what i ate yesterday. i got plenty of water.
no pbj and no steamed white rice
my sister works for the paratransit bus company. she said they letting go 50% of the drivers and mechanics. it's the paratransit gets me to work and the supermarket. thought they were prepping bailout money for transportation services.
i cant imagine job hunting in the fall of civilization era
Maybe there is a neighbor who can give you a ride. Or...call the grocery stores. If you tell them about your situation, they may be able to deliver some food to you.
There is a brief scene in the 1965 b&w movie "Ship Of Fools" (a dreary expose' of human psychology*) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ship_of_Fools_(film) where the professional baseball player (Lee Marvin) is out on deck of the cruise ship heading for Nazi Germany, brooding over the fact that he'd fk'd up some game and damaged his pitching record. Another guy meets him out on deck and sets him straight on how most of the world has no idea what baseball is much less who the hell he is and why none of it matters. I don't remember much of that film but that part stuck with me for 55 years.
* Note: I seem to remember the '60s as having a number of dark psychological cinematic portrayals of human self-moaning. (Perhaps it was a result of living and working in all that ugly '60s architecture?) Another one I remember was the 1969 film "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_Shoot_Horses,_Don%27t_They%3F_(film) I'm surprised that the theater didn't issue one-bullet handguns as you left the theater.
Non-complaint: Thankfully, time erases all mistakes. So, a great deal of that ugly '60s architecture is gone.
Let's not find examples of it.
Corona is the name of Rapunzel's hometown apparently in Tangled.
i lost the battle at work. they makin me work from home all next week. i'm the only one here who doesnt have a laptop. i never complained cause i love my hexacore desktop. i don't have access 2016 at home. woes
I want to work from home, but that is not what type of job I have right now. My job is closed until end of the month.
They call it cricket?
croquet is the po
'boy's polo
i'm already whining i need someone to take me to the animal shelter to adopt a buppy
https://www.animalleague.org/adopt/profile/?id=TX0042
If they're insisting you work from home, they should provide you with what you need to do so.
Dana
That sounds kinda good actually... This could be the next big thing in coffee.
I'd forego the broiler and do high power infrared lamps behind glass cases... This way people can see the coffee soaked cardboard baking and the steam gently wafting off of it... it's like watching cookies bake or rats play on the subway tracks.
I'm torn between whole cardboard boxes or ripped up sections... the ripped up ones are more work and probably fit better, but the whole boxes are more bohemian... I suppose you can get away with ripped up, but you definitely have to go with bohemian... and definitely a NYC backstory (Seattle is old news)...
Anyone who's ever lived in NYC knows cardboard holds odors and flavors like nothing else... (Well, maybe old socks)...
The Gimmick: I'm thinking your gimmick could be "Stew Leonard's meets Starbucks"... Stew Leonard's is a Connecticut based supermarket chain that has animatronic farm animals that burst into song and dance spread out inside their stores, and depending on the store, the different sections are set up to look like a bakery or a dairy... but you want the gritty bohemian realism of the NYC streets, so the inside of your stores are made to look like back alleys, with cardboard boxes piled everywhere and little animatronic rats that sing and dance every fifteen minutes... patrons are encouraged to pee in the corners to add to the authenticity of the back alley experience... Starbucks capitalized on the little coffeehouse look, with the bare brick walls and snobby coffee blends... but that is so yesterday, you want to appeal to the millennial on the go... that kid who isn't afraid to party at some back alley rave in an abandoned factory... they don't want shiny brass espresso machines and polite baristas... they want gritty inner city realism, they want their coffee hand squeezed by surly workers who look like they may be part of some sort of criminal gang... they want that coffee squeezed out of dirty hot cardboard that was baking under heat lamps for hours, not poured from sterile machinery... they don't want Sumatran or Kona blends of coffee, that's pretentious, that's the coffee the man drinks... suits and the one percent... that's boomer brew. Of course that's your pitch to the investors... you don't actually care if you appeal to the millennial on the go, that just sounds good to people who want to be sold on something that will make them filthy rich overnight.
Your Backstory: I thought about that and I settled on redemption... everyone loves a good redemption story... You were a venture capitalist who was just swimming in cash from all your dirty dealings, you had it all, women (or men, the turkey avatar isn't very revealing so I've got no idea about your gender), fancy cars, fancy mansions, rocket boots, a herd of trained penguins that catered to your every whim... Then one day your best friend, partner and college roommate stabbed you in the back (both literally and figuratively) and stole the company from you, leaving destitute and on the streets... at first you wallowed in self pity, but then one day after squeezing some coffee out of a cardboard take-out box, you got an idea... the disgusting cardboard which had been baking in the hot summer sun gave the coffee a distinctive taste you'd never experienced before... better than civet cat beans... more like moldy cheese, it was sublime... you wanted to run out into the street grabbing people and telling the world what a delicious treat you'd discovered, but the last time you ran around grabbing people you were arrested, so you decided to do it the smart way... you collected unfinished, abandoned cups of coffee from the subway, shelves of assorted stores (it's a thing... people do that, they just leave unfinished coffee cups on stores shelves... especially Target and Home Depot), anywhere you could find them... you dumped them all in a big bucket you found behind the medical waste disposal facility and let it sit overnight... then you stuck shredded cardboard you had gathered from the alley and various rat's nests and stuck it in the mix and let it sit in the sun for a few hours... and voila! Then you set about selling your hand squeezed brew from a stand you set up outside the alley where you got the idea... At first nobody would buy your unique concoction, but eventually it took off like a pandemic, spread by word of mouth...
The Name: Starbucks' founders chose the name because they heard names that began with "st" were powerful and they chose the specific name because of a character from Moby Dick... But words that start with "wi" are also pretty powerful... like Winston Churchill or WiFi... so your company's name is "Wildfell's"... it sounds exotic and spicy, it conjures images of boxes that have traveled all over the world, commingling fluids and stubstances, picking up the flavors from puddles of stuff from everywhere on the globe... And it's also the name of the residence of the main character of "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall" by Anne Brontë, which in addition to being the first mention of cardboard in a novel, was possibly one of the earliest feminist novels in Victorian England... So it actually makes sense... Now for your logo...
Logo: I know you saw this coming... A walrus with a steamy box on its head... do I need to explain?... Who would you prefer to buy coffee from... A perky young lady with clean hands and a great health plan, or a filthy damp walrus who smells like herring? Like that needed explanation. Starbucks' original logo was a two tailed bare boobied mermaid holding her two scaley tails apart in a very suggestive pose... I'm not even making that up, it's actually rather disturbing, but it worked... a walrus isn't really that different and it could appeal to kids in addition to adults with a walrus fetish... I wouldn't pose the walrus too provocatively, maybe just leaning to one side with a devilish wink... like "you know... wink-wink"...
Your Product: Hand squeezed cardboard fermented industrial grade coffee... in fact, I'd find out where NYC's Rikers Island prison gets their coffee, get it from there and call that "Riker's Roast"... in fact you could name all the coffee blends after prisons and psychiatric facilities... "Attica Cafe"... "Bellevue Blend"... if you branch out into teas eventually, I'd name them after subway stations... Your coffee squeezed into unwashed reused paper cups (more flavor), and it comes in three sizes... "Uge", "E-frickin'normous" and "Are ya' Friggin' Kidding?"... I'd also seriously consider selling unrefrigerated sandwiches and pastries with bites taken out of them so you can attract a lunch crowd... also the bites should be taken out by the employees so you don't have to pay them as much.
I guess that's it...
Well, no need to thank me... when you are being interviewed by Jimmy Kamel or Steven Coldbear on one of those late night shows, you can mention me, but I caution you... most people who've mentioned my help or suggestions throughout history have either been burned at the stake or fed to hungry circus animals... but it's your call, there aren't a lot of circuses around anymore anyway...
Good, now go out and become a cold hearted ruthless entrepreneur!
starbuck not named after battlestar galactica?
amazon prime dont deliver overnight no moars
ordered myself a hot air popcorn popper. yumma hot no salt snack. why didnt someone suggest it sooner?
lol
People get mad at me when I make fun of Amazon, but... they ever delivered overnight? The three times I needed something overnight it turned into day and a half, two days and "we ain't got no idea what happened to the package... sucks to be you".
Everyone loves Amazon, but me not so much... it's probably because I don't order shower curtains or bbq thermometers, so the items are not regular products from regular vendors... even though a lot are Prime.