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Hope it will take less than 13 years to roll out next episode :)
Your animation was pretty good. You need to watch for the backgrounds. If you're going to put in background people and they are going to be moving, you MUST put as much care (or more) into their movements as you do for your main focus character otherwise just leave them out. As an example, at 00:46-00:50 you have a figure in the background who moves around jerkily, then turns on 90 degrees and then instantly speeds up. His actions are SO jarring that they take away from the action that you want to be seen. Background motion can add detail to the scene, but it can also completely destroy your composition. Better to be static or not there than to detract from the story. Your background people must be invisible to the main action *unless* their actions are necessary for plot furtherance.
Another cinematic issue: Static Cameras and Camera movement taking "Focus Elements" off camera. Static cameras are the first giveaway that you're a CG scene/amateur film. A mistake that most amateur film-makers make is to leave a camera static throughout a scene. This happens in live action as well as CG, and is usually a combination of 'lack of knowledge' or 'lack of equipment budget'. In polished productions, cameras rarely stay static unless there is a specific point trying to be made (focus on a computer screen, for instance). Adding a dolly motion to keep the action in "context" will improve your look as well as keep the eyes of the viewer from glazing over. Which way you dolly will depend on what the scene is doing. You want to encourage the direction that the viewers' eyes travel to proceed toward your focus. If your character is walking to the right, dolly the camera to the left/back of the character to expose where it is that s/he is going. This encourages the viewer to "look ahead" and take an interest in the motivations of your character. In some sections this is done well, but there are many more where the camera is far too static for the motion that is happening. Which leads to the Camera movement/focus. In several places, the camera motion (or lack thereof) takes the main focus elements out of the view or leaves areas of 'disinterest' as the main content in the scene. Viewers are not normally interested in where the characters were, but where they are going (unless there is a YUGE explosion happening in the vacated area).
Secondary: nudity. Nudity must be used judiciously. Nudity will ALWAYS draw the eyes of the viewer; without exception. Whether it elicits the correct emotion is the question. This is where honest focus audiences are a great help -- friends, family, and fans are too interested in protecting your feelings than to give honest feedback (ESPECIALLY if they know how much work was involved). Too much nudity, or nudity that lasts too long risks losing the viewers' initial interest and can turn even a great initial response into an unwanted turn-off. Your initial nudity was fine during the awakening segment, and upto the falling onto the floor. After that, your nudity became less of a plot interest than an exhibition. She makes a concerted effort at 2:33 to protect her modesty; it would be perfectly acceptable/expected for her to continue that effort *especially* when doors suddenly open and others enter. There are two main options here: 1) remove her interest in modesty (is she an android without modesty?) and leave the whole section "open", 2) Leave her more prone on the floor, hiding her "assets", and have her look up at the men from there.
Finally: Between the release of the containers on the cargo ship and the exposure of the hibernation pod, there needs to be exposition that the pod *came* from the containers as opposed to having been already on the base. The jump to the "awakening" room left no idea that the pod was from the ship until significantly into the scene and leaves the viewers asking "where did that come from" and trying to examine the environment for information about what is going on. This detracts from the interest of what is happening to/in the pod.
Keep up the good work.
Kendall
Yes, you're right - idea was to show thoughtful older man jumping off the way of hasty young officer but it wasn't polished as well as it should be.
Intention was to show everyday life on this station while story wasn't yet started.
There isn't a single shot with static camera in any of my movies :) Another question is that I prefer more traditional 'camera on rails' approach to 'shaky camera' (you can see it in abundance in 'Blind spot' show for example). So I use faster motion of camera to accent the character's motion only, like in the 'fall' shot.
From this I conclude that I didn't my job well enough here :) - she's not protecting her modesty here, `cause she's alone in the chamber - she's shaking from cold and trying to get some warm :) I have rebuilt this scene 3 times from scratch and still her shiver is not 100% convincing :)
I had such shot but it was cut out and words about 'special delivery' were inserted into Ana's mouth instead :) The main reasons for such action were:
Maybe somewhere in the future I'll convince Kevin to alter music so this shot could be included, then I'll do 'Extended cut' of this :)
Thanks for critic, I'll add some new items to my QA checklist :)
Maybe that's because I'm fan of old SciFi movies, or maybe I'm too old myself :)
In this case it may have been better for him turn the opposite direction since a move toward the camera will cause the viewer to presume that the character is somehow going to affect the action. This leads to unnecessary distraction. His initial stair climb was decent, though he stops a bit farther from the stairs than would be normal for his "intended" actions. A quick way to resolve this would be for the crew member that is the farthest back to "flag" the older man when the elder stops and looks that way. Then you are prefectly justified in the 90 degree turn. All that is required is a reversal of the directions.
The cameras in several spots moves far too slowly for the action that is occurring, allowing the "flow" to get ahead of the camera. This is also considered a "static camera event" even though the camera is indeed moving. A nice thing about CG over live action is that "pacing" of the camera movement doesn't require the actors to come back and redo the shot
Ah. Then you might want to look at more references for women of her "stature" for that type of "pose". A cold woman won't necessarily cross her arms across the front her breasts. According to all of the women that I've asked (about half a dozen) to show me their arm positions when they're cold have their arms _below_ their breasts, since (as I'm told by them) "my breasts don't really get cold". Since I'm male, I'll take their word for it.
They also say they "curl up" (I don't know if Genesis can get into quite that type of pose with the spinal bones available).
Kendall
Hi a-sennov
Can you please PM, me the link to your film when you get a chance I would love to watch it. but daz has removed the link.
search on vimeo works
great video
I used real person as reference for my first take on this :)
Hi Ivy, PMed you.
Thanks :)
@ a-sennov
If you're planning on making a career of animation, or storytelling in general, you should never have to defend your work as an artist. Once a work is done to your satisfaction and you release it to the public listen to the criticism and then accept or reject it as necessary, but remember that the work has to stand on it's own. You can't retroactively explain what you meant to do, or why it turned out the way it did unless you're doing a commentary track for people who might be curious.
If you've done your best work, acknowledge any flaws ( or percieved flaws) and do better next time. Heck by the time you reach the 13th ep, you might go back and completely redo the early episodes of the series. By that time your skill level should have tripled from the experience.
Thank you very much pming me.. . All I can say is Wow! . that was a excellent film, I really enjoyed it., you did a wonderful job, your story and timeing was excellent. Your voice actors really did a great job too. I can appreciate the time you put in it really shows. & I can see you put in tons of render time in it as well... I look forward to your next film. this one was very impressive :)
Thanks, Ivy - I'll try to not delay it for too long :)
One of the goals was to release what's done, stop polish it and move to the next goal. So I doubt I'll return to the first chapters at the end. I already have plans for next two episodes (not chapters :) ) and finally the game.