barbult's take on the lives of Jack and Richard

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  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    IceDragonArt said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    IceDragonArt said:

    barbult said:

    A Bad Idea

    Jack took Richard punting on the river. As soon as they left dry land, it was obvioulsy a big mistake.
    Jack and Richard Punting on the River

    This is awesome!

    Ah, is that what those words meant.

    Haha clearly!

    That was before Richard learned to swim, out of sheer necessity, and later became a beach lifeguard.  Water no longer terrifies him. Perhaps he and Jack should try this again. I'm not sure Jack would be willing, though.

  • memcneil70memcneil70 Posts: 5,235

    Barbult, I am robbed of speech. I feel for Jack so much. I tangled with Simon over one toy Sunday and he 'nailed' my right fingertip so deeply he left part of his nail in it. I am still bleeding off and on. Gingers are vicious when crossed. And very pushy. 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156
    Gosh, that doesn't sound like our Richard at all. Except maybe when he deletes our messages. (I'd put little laughing face or devil face here, but I'm on my phone, and it doesn't give me access to Daz emoji.)
  • richardandtracyrichardandtracy Posts: 7,070
    edited December 3

    @memcneil70 : We have a very non-pushy, non-vicious ginger at home. He's a Maine Coon, runt of the litter (only 3'7" tip of nose to tip of tail or front stretched paw to back stretched paw) and terrible timid, even though he's 13 now, he's scared of our 6month old MC kitten.. He's on the left of the attached cat photo below (unfortunately the other two are ex-cats now. The front Ginger died of cancer at 16, the black normal cat at the back died of old age at 19.5.

    Regards,

    Richard

    Pets.jpg
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  • David RDavid R Posts: 426

    richardandtracy said:

    @memcneil70 : We have a very non-pushy, non-vicious ginger at home. He's a Maine Coon, runt of the litter (only 3'7" tip of nose to tip of tail or front stretched paw to back stretched paw) and terrible timid, even though he's 13 now, he's scared of our 6month old MC kitten.. He's on the left of the attached cat photo below (unfortunately the other two are ex-cats now. The front Ginger died of cancer at 16, the black normal cat at the back died of old age at 19.5.

    Regards,

    Richard

    Cute. 

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    richardandtracy said:

    @memcneil70 : We have a very non-pushy, non-vicious ginger at home. He's a Maine Coon, runt of the litter (only 3'7" tip of nose to tip of tail or front stretched paw to back stretched paw) and terrible timid, even though he's 13 now, he's scared of our 6month old MC kitten.. He's on the left of the attached cat photo below (unfortunately the other two are ex-cats now. The front Ginger died of cancer at 16, the black normal cat at the back died of old age at 19.5.

    Regards,

    Richard

    Even the bedspread has cats on it. Maybe that's why they look so comfortable there.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156
    edited December 3

    Neighborhood Watch-Cat

    Richard Haseltine, self-appointed neighborhood watch-cat, has vowed to never let a big cat threaten the neighborhood. Lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards - he's ready to take them all on. And so far, nary a one has dared to enter his territory. But then, he hears a loud roar in the distance. He dons his snowsuit, mittens, boots and earmuffs to go out into the snow and check. Could a big cat be on the prowl? Richard prepares his ammunition as the biggest cat of them all - the SnowCat - rounds the corner and heads straight for him! Richard waits for it to get within striking range and lobs the first volley. Oh no, it has already swallowed a neighbor man, and he is flailing his arm and screaming for Richard's help to escape - isn't he??
    (Look! Richard's pajamas took on new life as his snowsuit!)
    SnowCat

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    Post edited by barbult on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    It is a truth almost universally acknowledged that cats have pretty much no sense of relative scale.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    Richard Haseltine said:

    It is a truth almost universally acknowledged that cats have pretty much no sense of relative scale.

    A friend's cat can jump to the top of their entertainment center, and land accurately on a fairly narrow surface, with no problem. How can she do that, if she doesn't sense the scale of the item she is leaping onto? Or is it that she knows the absolute size, but not whether it is bigger or smaller than she is?

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    Yes, it's relative scale  - "is this  too big foer me to take on or not?" Perhaps also "Is this too small to be a threat requiring absolute annihilation?"

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Yes, it's relative scale  - "is this  too big foer me to take on or not?" Perhaps also "Is this too small to be a threat requiring absolute annihilation?"

    Hmm. You seem to be suffering from that very issue right now, in your confrontation with the SnowCat. That may explain a lot of the predicaments you find yourself in (i.e that I put you in), now that I think about it.  

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Yes, it's relative scale  - "is this  too big foer me to take on or not?" Perhaps also "Is this too small to be a threat requiring absolute annihilation?"

    Hmm. You seem to be suffering from that very issue right now, in your confrontation with the SnowCat. That may explain a lot of the predicaments you find yourself in (i.e that I put you in), now that I think about it.  

    I thought it probably reflected long experience with cats

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Yes, it's relative scale  - "is this  too big foer me to take on or not?" Perhaps also "Is this too small to be a threat requiring absolute annihilation?"

    Hmm. You seem to be suffering from that very issue right now, in your confrontation with the SnowCat. That may explain a lot of the predicaments you find yourself in (i.e that I put you in), now that I think about it.  

    I thought it probably reflected long experience with cats 

    I was only about 10 years old that last time I owned or lived with a cat. I do have a couple friends with a cat. That cat is pretty sedate and doesn't get into much mischief, other than jumping out of reach on top of the entertainment center or hiding behind the TV in inaccessible spots when it is time to go to the vet. My "experience" is imaginary and triggered by things you say. How many "other" cats live with you?

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    Yes, it's relative scale  - "is this  too big foer me to take on or not?" Perhaps also "Is this too small to be a threat requiring absolute annihilation?"

    Hmm. You seem to be suffering from that very issue right now, in your confrontation with the SnowCat. That may explain a lot of the predicaments you find yourself in (i.e that I put you in), now that I think about it.  

    I thought it probably reflected long experience with cats 

    I was only about 10 years old that last time I owned or lived with a cat. I do have a couple friends with a cat. That cat is pretty sedate and doesn't get into much mischief, other than jumping out of reach on top of the entertainment center or hiding behind the TV in inaccessible spots when it is time to go to the vet. My "experience" is imaginary and triggered by things you say. How many "other" cats live with you?

    Just the one, but all our cats over the years (six, plus visitors in-between) have been ... individual.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156
    edited December 4

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    SnowCat Richard Mission Accomplished.jpg
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  • Yep. Every cat is very different from every other cat. Our first cat (my avatar) couldn't hunt, was terrified of everything except cats & dogs. But for cats & dogs, he was the local thug, the mafia boss, the hit man all rolled into one. He terrified our neighbour's Doberman/Alsatian cross so badly it ran away from the fence looking over its shoulder when he landed on the fence, and he regularly came home with half frozen food or joints so hot he had to put them down regularly (once a rack of 5 lamb ribs so hot he had to put down every 5 paces). But when a fish in the pond sucked the tip of his tail, he ran indoors and stayed there for 3 days, same when a frog jumped on him while he was sleeping in the garden. And he never worked out that claws work only one way, so he always fell out of trees when he came down head first. And he was scared of heights.

    Regards,

    Richard

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    richardandtracy said:

    Yep. Every cat is very different from every other cat. Our first cat (my avatar) couldn't hunt, was terrified of everything except cats & dogs. But for cats & dogs, he was the local thug, the mafia boss, the hit man all rolled into one. He terrified our neighbour's Doberman/Alsatian cross so badly it ran away from the fence looking over its shoulder when he landed on the fence, and he regularly came home with half frozen food or joints so hot he had to put them down regularly (once a rack of 5 lamb ribs so hot he had to put down every 5 paces). But when a fish in the pond sucked the tip of his tail, he ran indoors and stayed there for 3 days, same when a frog jumped on him while he was sleeping in the garden. And he never worked out that claws work only one way, so he always fell out of trees when he came down head first. And he was scared of heights.

    Regards,

    Richard

    What a character. He had as many adventures as Richard Haseltine. 

  • I reckon so. He definitely made a lasting impression, still think of him regularly despite the fact he died of old age 21 years ago.

    Regards,

    Richard

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    barbult said:

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    Now I just need to get the snow out of my poor ears. Still, that definitely has the air of a James Bond sequence....

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156
    edited December 4

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    Now I just need to get the snow out of my poor ears. Still, that definitely has the air of a James Bond sequence....

    Yes, you have snow in your ears, because your earmuffs flew off and were crushed by the SnowCat treads. The earmuffs are over there near the tread on your right, flat as a pancake due to DS axis scaling. 

    Post edited by barbult on
  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    Now I just need to get the snow out of my poor ears. Still, that definitely has the air of a James Bond sequence....

    Yes, you have snow in your ears, because your earmuffs flew off and were crushed by the SnowCat treads. The earmuffs are over there near the tread on your right, flat as a pancake due to DS axis scaling. 

    A Pyrrhic victory, then.

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    Now I just need to get the snow out of my poor ears. Still, that definitely has the air of a James Bond sequence....

    Yes, you have snow in your ears, because your earmuffs flew off and were crushed by the SnowCat treads. The earmuffs are over there near the tread on your right, flat as a pancake due to DS axis scaling. 

    A Pyrrhic victory, then.

    I had to go look that one up. laughIf you have anymore winter adventures, I can get you a new set of earmuffs from my product library, so don't worry too much. Or perhaps a cozy knit cap would would be nice.

  • Richard HaseltineRichard Haseltine Posts: 107,857

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    Now I just need to get the snow out of my poor ears. Still, that definitely has the air of a James Bond sequence....

    Yes, you have snow in your ears, because your earmuffs flew off and were crushed by the SnowCat treads. The earmuffs are over there near the tread on your right, flat as a pancake due to DS axis scaling. 

    A Pyrrhic victory, then.

    I had to go look that one up. laughIf you have anymore winter adventures, I can get you a new set of earmuffs from my product library, so don't worry too much. Or perhaps a cozy knit cap would would be nice.

    Ears ar vitally important to cats, both for sensing the world and for communicating. Hmm, maybe that was why the big cat didn't want to back down - it couldn't read my ears?

  • barbultbarbult Posts: 26,156

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Richard Haseltine said:

    barbult said:

    Mission Accomplished!

    Richard Haseltine: Ha! I ducked and rolled with perfect precision, right under his giant body, just as he tried to hit me. His huge paws didn't even touch me. Look! He's running away, afraid of a fight. Mission Accomplished! I am an excellent evasionist!
    It's too bad I couldn't help the neighbor escape, though. I hope he makes it out on his own.

    Now I just need to get the snow out of my poor ears. Still, that definitely has the air of a James Bond sequence....

    Yes, you have snow in your ears, because your earmuffs flew off and were crushed by the SnowCat treads. The earmuffs are over there near the tread on your right, flat as a pancake due to DS axis scaling. 

    A Pyrrhic victory, then.

    I had to go look that one up. laughIf you have anymore winter adventures, I can get you a new set of earmuffs from my product library, so don't worry too much. Or perhaps a cozy knit cap would would be nice.

    Ears ar vitally important to cats, both for sensing the world and for communicating. Hmm, maybe that was why the big cat didn't want to back down - it couldn't read my ears?

    I don't think we will ever know what a SnowCat thinks. I don't think it thinks at all.

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