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Crap.
As a grown-ass woman of 39, I've hurt at least three of my long-time friends in the most High School manner possible. Long story short, I've talked to - fraternized with - someone they have a mutual dislike for because I had questions, and it's made them feel betrayed. Now I'm sitting here, wondering why I even did it. Why did I risk hurting my friends by talking to some people I don't even really like, behind their backs? Two answers keep bouncing about, "You wanted answers" and "Becuz Ur stupid." I didn't have a problem with anything about them, I had a problem with some things they were saying they'd heard, which I didn't fully believe in. Yes, I could have chosen to just accept what they were saying as truth, but there was something... I don't even remember what it was, that made me sceptical, so I decided to talk to some Persons of Ill Repute. Despite being warned repeatedly that those people were the devil, I thought I should talk to them and listen to them because that's how I roll.
So now I'm feeling like absolute garbage, kind of like when I was 13 and one of my friends got wind of me telling people I was glad we were in separate groups that year. But this is worse, because everyone involved is an adult (although one is quite young) and it's not about being annoyed with someone always wanting to copy your school work. This time it's about who's lying about some really dark sh**. Being wrong here is going to be a dark stain that'll never go away.
I'm not really asking for support or suggestions, I just needed to vent because this sucks. Although I always knew it would eventually happen, everything about it feels so unnecessary and stupid.
If you're still worried about that crap then you are still in High School. If your friends are still worried about that crap then they are still in High School. If after approaching the Persons of Ill Repute and they still strike you as Persons of Ill Repute then you know how much to believe. And if you're an adult then you know what to do about it.
My mum says "remember the source" when I complain about what people say that I let hurt my feelings. If a housemate says ADHD is only for kids, that does not mean it is true. If my doctor says I need ADHD medication then she probably knows what she is doing. If my stepdad thinks I should get off my medication, that does not mean I should unless my doctor agrees.
Another thought, even if you did say those things they say you said, are you still saying them now? I remember saying awful stuff as a kid but that does not define me as an adult. (I confused the word that starts with S which is a crappy word for stop when I was in grade school. My brother did stop but also was shocked I used a bad word.) I have done other bad stuff in the past but it is probably time to learn from my faults and move on. I cannot go back in time to get those lost items or pay those bills before they are long over due. Yes I made bad choices in the past but I should not let that define my present or future
What I am trying to say is "remember the source" and to forgive your past so you can live in the present time and look forward to the future.
stress is bad, all kinds of health issues manifest. it even increases blood sugar
like that song about the comet, sometimes goodbye is a second chance
goodbye to stressful relationships
complaint - my cousin is a bank teller.
she caught 2 fraud attempts last week.
my complaint is they didn't arrest the culprits.
they still out there to do more fraud.
the latest trend
when they get your account number, they go online and add themselves to create a joint account.
they then start transferring the money out
they got caught, cuz the 2 accomplices went to the bank at same time,
using the same name at 2 teller windows, to withdraw money.
frauds are more active during holidays
and they don't get arrested? ?
it makes goin on a date with someone extremely scarier.
I wish it were that simple, but when I say "ill repute" I mean it as in "suspected of murder" level distrust. These guys aren't always nice, and I'm aware of that, but I haven't seen or heard anything to make me believe they really are evil incarnated. Said friends are afraid of them for reasons, and there's also some really serious anxiety/depression disorders and suicidal thoughts involved, so I need to step very carefully. In many ways they're exposed and vulnerable, and I've upset them pretty badly, so yes I'm worried.
We've had an episode before, where the roles were reversed. I was trying to tell them about some really horrific crime that had taken place uncomfortably close, with literal toddlers as the victims, and they didn't believe it was as serious as reported. Even when I provided a link to a news report about it, one of them got really upset and started blaming "under-funded police" instead of the perpetrators. Apparently the things I said then "made them really uncomfortable." I think the only thing I can do now is suggest we go our separate ways. I don't want them to feel like they need to be wary of me, and I sincerely believe they've been listning to some very dishonest people and are in denial. But I'll miss them. They're not bad apples, and we've had a lot of fun.
(And yes, I literally have somewhat reduced emotional maturity, because of a neurological disorder. It's not Asperger, it's some weird sort of ADHD. I often think stuff I've done is a lot worse than it is. People tell me this, which is how I know.)
This. 101% this!
non complaint
someone left linzer tart cookies, the big ones
, in the break room
doh already behind schedule on my new movie production.
I am behind in my writing schedule.
1/2/2020 good time to start a sheduelle
I am worried that a pair of pants I just got for work will be too big. I had a gift card at a maternity store but I am not pregnant. I am hoping that the pants I got will work for my job. I am hoping they have a good return policy or better yet a great exchange system if the pants are the wrong size.
i originally wanted a binary star system, but the extra shadows impact render times.
checking out l homme, worst elbow bends i evah seen they not embarrassed to show that?
...buppies haz cheezeburgers too
Why are McDonalds' cheeseburgers so good? I mean, they're not really all that... good. The patty is a bit dry, as with all standard McD burgers, the bun is usually squoshed kind of flat, and half the cheese is attached to the paper. Still there's this particular flavour to them that's all but impossible to replicate with grocery store ingredients. It keeps you eventually starting to want a fix of delicious trash.
BUPPIES
day old linzer tart cookies in the break room
my left foot is dragging a bit, afraid it's too noticeable. gonna have to not roam the halls today.
ignoring the bowl of kisses on the receptionist's desk.
lol, radio playing a sharmin ad, shiny hiny jingle ^.^
i just realizing how dragon like ducks are
needs a bigger head and muscular neck, position of wings on the back look perfect
excellent pose reference for the dragon's legs
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, maybe it's a dragon?
lol
i luv your new avatar name
silly thing
how do you see what frame is selecterd in the daz studio time line, in keyframe mode?
don't see it nowheres
Is it just me but the idea of ordering clothes from a maternity store seems odd? I had a gift card for a maternity store, but instead of selling the gift card I bought 8 items of clothing for about a hundred dollars (the amount of the gift card). One off the items was a pair of pants for work. I ain't pregnant so that pudge is just fat. I am afraid that the pants will be for a woman with a big belly not just a pudgy tummy.
Carp. I have to sit in the back of a van. I do not know why. Apparently my housemates are too good to sit in the back or something. I do not know.
trance gemini? tee hee
tee hee
duck skeleton
...but what if it tastes like a duck? I'd imagine that dragon is a bit more on the spicy side and a bit tough.
Not wishing to nit-pick, but if they all claimed to be ducks some of them were fibbing.
If they're maternity pants I'd only worry if they were a perfect fit.
Perhaps you never tried Aiko3, LoL!