RRRR - Shakespeare Insults render contest Entries only thread

TotteTotte Posts: 10,505

Here we post entries in the "RRRR - Shakespeare Insults render contest".

The same rules as always.

State your tag, your insult and your image.

Example:
Tag: Richard_H:#01
Insult: Thou tottering elf-skinned clack-dish!
<the image>

Comments

  • luci45luci45 Posts: 2,248

    tag: luci45 #1
    Thou wayward spur-galled clack dish!
    Dirty Ollie was pleasantly surprised when Prince Rasnak rewarded him for a little gossip about Big Ronnie Rumorosa. Ollie's wife told him how she felt about snitches, but thought it was an impressive coin.

  • TotteTotte Posts: 10,505

    Tag: Totte#1

    Insult: Thou weedy motley-minded mammet!
    The new colony house hold robot was not really a good help at all.

  • DiomedeDiomede Posts: 9,378
    edited June 14

    Tag:  Diomede #1

    Insult:  Thou Villainous, Fen-Sucked, Boar-Pig

    When visiting her grandmother, Big Red Riding Hood thought she was being clever when she avoided the wolf by cutting through the fen instead of the woods.  But the three pigs went to the fen to avoid the wolf also.  One of the pigs was quite greedy, and the other two followed his lead. 

    Post edited by Diomede on
  • luci45luci45 Posts: 2,248

    Tag: luci45 #2
    Thou paunchy boil-brained strumpet!

    (with apologies to Gene Roddenberry, Captain Kirk and Mr Spock)

  • luci45luci45 Posts: 2,248

    Tag: luci45 #3
    Thou wayward shard-borne boar-pig!

  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 556
    edited June 18

    Tynkere #01

    Thou dank hedge-borne varlot! 
    (Varlot meant a kind of rogue or knave who might 'appropriate' things-- maybe from the wine cellar)

    Shakespeare1.png
    1301 x 1025 - 2M
    Post edited by Tynkere on
  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 556
    edited June 23

    Tykere #02

    Mammering, Plume-Plucked Mammet

     

    Shakes2Final.png
    974 x 1537 - 2M
    Post edited by Tynkere on
  • luci45luci45 Posts: 2,248

    tag:luci45 #4
    Thou tottering dismal-dreaming clotpole!

  • TynkereTynkere Posts: 556

    Tynkere #03

    Thou Paunchy, Hasty-Witted, Bum-Baily!

  • luci45luci45 Posts: 2,248

    tag:luci45 #5

    Thou warped motley-minded giglet!

    Clara Clown-Muse inspired this (sadly unfinished and unpublished) sonnet:

    Thou warped motley-minded giglet be,
    Who findest me un-mused in grim despair.
    As thither flew true beauty's company,
    Now hither flies thy gaudy vixen hair.
    Wretched surrogate obscene disrupter,
    whence wretched hour or misbegotten clime
    Com'st thou, ill-bred grievious vixen lewdster
    To vex my soul with beslubbering ryhme?

  • SaphirewildSaphirewild Posts: 4,817

    Tag: Saphirewild #1

    "Thou craven fat-kidneyed flax-wench!"

    Candise and Frank never did get along but he always showed up everyday and asked for her by name to serve him his bowl of fruit. She was always poliet with him but he would be insultive and sometimes threw the fruit at her.

  • GopherusGopherus Posts: 910

    Gopherus #1

    Thou mangled motley-minded fustilarian

    While Mistress Ford looks on, Mistress Page metes out a well deserved comeuppance to Falstaff.  His crime?  Sending identical love letters to Mistress Page and Mistress Ford and addressing them "Dear Sir or Madam as the case may be"  Maybe that is normal in London but not here in Windsor!

  • SaphirewildSaphirewild Posts: 4,817

    Saphirewild Tag #2 "Thou puking fool-born scut!"

    Ralph and Ronny were running through the forest like they did everyday. When all of a sudden Ralph felt like he was going to get sick. In mid run he did vomit but what came out was not vomit but a strange creature and that scared Ronny so bad that he started to run even faster then Ralph.

  • GopherusGopherus Posts: 910

    Gopherus #2

    Thou dankish folly-fallen ratsbane!

    Oh Thane of the Corridor,  Childe MacBeth,  have you no shame. Thou wishest to dress up my ratlings and post their pictures to the Hello Kitty Dating Site!  Flee, My Ratlings, Flee!

  • TigerAnneTigerAnne Posts: 987

    Oh right, I never actually posted my entry!

    Tag: TigerAnne#1 

    Thou Pribbling Rump-fed Bugbear.

    Edgar saw it as his duty as a respectable citizen and self-proclaimed Sheriff of the Throttlewood Barrens to keep an eye on things going on. He did this through a telescope located on the top floor of his house, from which he could see far and wide. Quite often he saw things that weren't strictly illegal, but which he could have lived happily without ever seeing. Like today...

    Edgar was minding his own business when suddenly he heard angry screaming. He turned around and saw that it was Lonzolas, the gothic Elf who lived down the lane from him. 

    "Edgar Bogweed!!1!" screamed the enraged Elf, "What in tarnation dost thou think thou art doing spying on me?"

    "I'm conducting surveillance to keep my neighbours safe from crime!" Edgar replied, a bit taken aback by how much Lonzolas looked like Steven Tyler from Aerosmith when he was screaming like that. "It's not my fault that you have a habit of dancing around naked to greet the sunrise."

    "Thou pribbling rump-fed bugbear!" Lonzolas screamed, spit and chunks of breakfast spraying Edgar's face. "Ye Dance of Dawn is a moste importante parte of my culture!"

    "Is that like an insult or sumfin?" Edgar asked, having composed himself a bit and remembering that he could easily pick up Lonzolas by the scruff of his neck, and carry him off his land, if need be.

    "Verily it is!" Lonzolas confirmed.

    "Oh, well then," Edgar retorted. "It might have hurt my poor wittle fee-fees a bit more, if I could actually understand what you were saying."

    "Thou art a sick man, Edgar Bogweed," Lonzolas exclaimed while flicking his long, sleek Elf-hair dramatically. "Get thee to a Bedlam house!"

    Then he spun around and walked gothically down the road.

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