Most of my cliches aren’t original.
All of the Mets’ road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium.
Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.
The Minnutemen are not tall in terms of height.
~~during a UMass basketball game.
Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
It was pretty good. Even the music was nice
~~said after attending an opera.
Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their heart through the night, and the next morning, if they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.
Colonel Gerald Wellman
We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.
Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.