Plumber Bill, a private contractor has just repaired the lawn sprinkler system at the local Air Force base and is running a test via a low priority maintenance operations computer…
Bill (typing): Run week day watering schedule.
Computer: Launch sequence access granted.
Bill (nervous): A little help here….. please!
Airman Davis (getting up from desk): What’s wrong?
Airman Davis (looking at screen): Oh… yeah, thats nothing… just leave an extra space between Run. (walks away)
Bill (unsure): Um… okay… thanks…
Davis (sitting back down at desk): Thats what I’m here for.
Bill (typing): Run weekday watering schedule.
Computer: Launch sequence entered. ICBM Target destination Serveromorsk Submarine base; Northern fleet- Russia.
Bill (not typing): AAAAAACK!
Davis (casually): Problem?
Bill (Shaking and bug eyed): I think I just launched a missile !!!
Davis( comes over and looks at screen again): No…. no there was no launch yet…
Davis: I mean “there was no launch”... just leave three spaces after Run… thats probably it…
Bill: YOU DO IT!!
Davis: Don’t worry, you do it- I have to take this….
Bill (Shaking and with deep bowel distress begins typing): Run week day watering schedule.
Computer: Missile bay Y137 Active- All systems GO- AMAC-TANGO-100101010001> Launch initiated… would you like to choose additional targets?
Based on your previous choice LaunchNet would like to suggest Mogilev Oblast EWH- Belorussia SSR or Lakhta Air Base- Russia.
Click yes to see more exciting choices.
Bill(Very loudly) AAAAAAAH!
Davis (slightly annoyed and on phone): Ahgh…Click NO!
Bill (possibly peeing in pants): THERE IS NO- NO!
Davis (covering phone): NO! Just No!
Bill (tears in eyes, pee in shoes): THERE IS ONLY YES!
Davis (covering phone): No- no?
Davis (very annoyed and still holding phone): Yes or NO?
Bill (Pee soaked and frantic): YES! NO-NO!!
Davis: Did you type four spaces?
Davis: (talking to person on phone) tell the guard Davis with a D… did you give soy sauce… Wait a moment… (holds phone again and says to Bill).... Then click Yes…
Bill (falling to floor) Thump-splish!
Davis: Damn… Gotta go (hangs up).... (Goes over to computer muttering to self… steps over damp Bill)... Oh, yeah… three spaces….. “Yes”...
“Exit”... (Glances out window at sprinklers working diligently)... megh, what’s the big deal… its just a stupid bug… they’re gonna fix it soon…
(pokes unresponsive Bill with toe)... is that PEE? (walks back to desk)... Man, I aint cleanin’ that up… drama queen. (phone rings as Davis sits down at desk)... Maintenance,Davis speaki…. Oh, hey Mavis what’s up? Did they give soy sauce?... Damn…
-camera pans around to left to a man standing by main door. He is wearing a simple black suit with a white shirt and black tie, he is standing holding a cigarette in his right hand-
Narrator: Submit for your approval Bill Watkins…. simple plumber and now pee soaked victim a of a fear so deep it could easily poke any one of us in the eyes at any time… a fear of the unknown… a fear that what they see before them on a simple computer screen, although just an ordinary bug might actually be real… yet to others this simple bug, this ethereal ghost in the machine is no more than a common annoyance that is to be expected as the cost of living in a fantastic future… a future only to be found in The Twilight Zone.
Key Spooky music and late 50s kids cigarette commercial.