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MIGHTY DEEP STUPID THREAD VI
Posted: 18 March 2013 09:26 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1126 ]
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which reminds me, exactly how do you use a dictionary if you cannot spell?
before computers or at least spell check on my phones it was a huge problem for me!
my Mum, a teacher and good speller could understand the problem as she had seen it in students
I did not inherit the ability to spell.

in the music library looking up “the music of Wales” as opposed to “the music of whales” could result in vastly different sound tracks tongue rolleye

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Posted: 19 March 2013 05:55 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1127 ]
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wendy♥catz - 18 March 2013 09:26 PM

which reminds me, exactly how do you use a dictionary if you cannot spell?
before computers or at least spell check on my phones it was a huge problem for me!
my Mum, a teacher and good speller could understand the problem as she had seen it in students
I did not inherit the ability to spell.

in the music library looking up “the music of Wales” as opposed to “the music of whales” could result in vastly different sound tracks tongue rolleye

Dory can speak whale. smile

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Posted: 19 March 2013 07:30 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1128 ]
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bottoms up

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Posted: 19 March 2013 07:36 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1129 ]
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Sputter!! Cleans monitor off.

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Posted: 20 March 2013 09:00 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1130 ]
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Absolutely true, Wendy.  The 17-month-old in this house has managed to stop up both toilets this week.  He regularly dips the dogs’ water bowl in the toilet to fill it for them.

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AtticAnne in Austin TX


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Posted: 20 March 2013 12:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1131 ]
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Whee!!

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Posted: 20 March 2013 01:41 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1132 ]
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chohole - 18 March 2013 05:51 AM
Kulay Wolf - 18 March 2013 05:45 AM

Mine is money that is spent on 3d content is never wasted

Kulay Wolf - 18 March 2013 05:46 AM

Even if I have not used it.

I would debate that concept.

Money spent on anything that is never used is always wasted, and would have been far better spent on something useful or something which would have been used.

I was joking.  Sorry for forgetting to add a smiley to the post. LOL

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Posted: 20 March 2013 02:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1133 ]
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The only SURE way to not spend your money on Content.

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Posted: 20 March 2013 02:18 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1134 ]
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Jaderail - 20 March 2013 02:17 PM

The only SURE way to not spend your money on Content.

ohh

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Posted: 20 March 2013 06:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1135 ]
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How to double your money. Guaranteed to work.


Step One: Fold money in half.
Step Two: Put it back in your wallet.

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Posted: 20 March 2013 07:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1136 ]
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What?  My message field is empty?  Is that because I didn’t type anything in the message field?

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Posted: 20 March 2013 09:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1137 ]
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Why we shoot deer in the wild:
(A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this)

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up—3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer—no Chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer’s momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn’t want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand…kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head—almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp… I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse—strikes at you with their hooves and you can’t get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope…...to sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true so help me God…An Educated Farmer

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Posted: 20 March 2013 11:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1138 ]
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...Bambi ain’t so cute and darling anymore is he?


That makes me feel they got it all wrong in the little parody cartoon Bambi Meets Godzilla.

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...it’s five minutes to midnight…

I’d rather have a blue sky above me than a blue screen in front of me.

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Posted: 21 March 2013 12:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1139 ]
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Deer are MEAN as HECK!! But boy do they taste good…

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Posted: 21 March 2013 04:44 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1140 ]
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AtticAnne - 20 March 2013 09:00 PM

Why we shoot deer in the wild:
(A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this)


#snipped for brevity#

Himself is now holding his sides in agony because of how hard he has been laughing. He was ahead of the story in some places, having spent 27 years working in a park which had “managed” herds of deer.

When necessary culling of the herds was needed even the Gamekeepers in the park use rifles, but there are times, such as when a deer has been clipped by a car on a park road and needs to be dealt with, where the gamekeeper may think that shooting “the poor little bambi” in front of concerned members of the public may not seem the politic solution, but even a deer on 3 legs is still nasty enough to not wish to deal with in any other way.

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