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The Twinkies and Lime Jello Complaint Thread—Now With More Squirrels!
Posted: 11 December 2012 10:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 946 ]
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Miss Bad Wolf - 11 December 2012 09:44 AM

I am not blind.  I want a service cat to help me stay healthy.  a cat would be a great service animal as a companion who would keep me distracted when in emotional pain.

Well, I didn’t say you had to BE blind… you could fake it by walking into stuff when you go for the interview.
Besides that was only for the chauffeuring angle and most cats really don’t make very good service animals… if you send them out for groceries they usually only blow the cash on catnip and tuna, if you ask them to bring you something they usually just look at you with one eyebrow raised and snicker to themselves…
Not all cats are good at keeping you healthy either… my friend’s cat weighs like 75 lbs… I wouldn’t take dietary advice from him, he is like a furry blob with a tail AND poor hygiene… you know, when a cat can’t lick themselves anymore… things go downhill FAST.
I will agree that cats are great at distracting humans… especially when you are doing something important that coincides with “Random I Want Lay On Your Head Or Poke You In The Eye With My Tail” time… The problem with trusting a cat with you emotional pain is you really only can be 100% sure their interest is genuine if they are a kitten… and they give terrible advice… “pounce on her and bite the back of her neck” really has very limited use in most human social context… granted, if you are getting freaky, but generally its pretty useless in a work situation. The problem is too many cats from former soviet bloc nations have set up crime rings and have recruited local strays to prey on unsuspecting individuals just looking for feline companionship… they befriend you and in the end once they get a hold on your finances, they “accidentally” trip down a flight of stairs or onto your exotic knife collection. Even the Nigerian cat crime rings are getting in on this, had it not been for their poorly thought out “Save the Pussies” scam, hundreds if not dozens of confused and vulnerable individuals would have been taken for all they had.
Cats can be great friends and even nutritional snacks in some parts of the world, but always remember to be sure of who you are dealing with… CatFax has a great service where they will run a background check on any feline companion and cross reference its paw prints with known feline offenders.
Just sayin’... ya’ know… be careful.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 10:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 947 ]
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lordvicore - 11 December 2012 09:36 AM
Miss Bad Wolf - 11 December 2012 07:52 AM
tjohn - 11 December 2012 05:54 AM

Aw…cute kitteh for Misty.

if I could I would bring that kitten into my warm home and try my best to keep her for the rest of her life.  first I would have to get a doctor´s note saying I need a feline service animal.

I used to train cats as chauffeurs for the blind… It really wasn’t such a good idea, but I did meet a doctor who would sign pretty much anything for anyone… I even got him to sign off on my gill grafting surgery… stupid grouper chickened out at the last second so I still have to breath air like everyone else.
Never trust a grouper or any sea bass… and NEVER lend them money.
I suppose if you didn’t actually let the cat drive much…
Actually, it might not even make sense if your state doesn’t give CDL’s to cats… technically I had to claim the cats where trained as EMS technicians so NY would give them their CDLs and except for Oklahoma and Utah most states wont let cats drive anything larger than a golf cart… although Colorado did legalize pot in small quantities, so I’m figuring in a few months they might be supporting all sorts of “imaginative” new laws and programs… my “Jetpacks for Pandas” program already has gotten some support and its only been 1 day….

Holy crap that was funny.

I did see on a news program that dogs are being trained to drive. I can’t believe any law would pass that would allow it, but you never know. The day they pass that law is the day I will more than likely stop driving. How is a dog going to explain it’s side of an accident? Woof bark bark growl bark woof lick slobber woof bark. What will happen if a cat runs across the road in front of the dog? Will he jump out the window or just take the car off road? Will the dog be able to control itself passing by a pizza shop or a family cookout? Dog’s driving, I sure as hell hope not.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 11:04 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 948 ]
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Kaff, kaff, sneeze.  Hello Winter cold! downer

Stuck at home drinking hot tea and coffee and sucking down soup and chili.  Got COLD last night, 27f!  And it was 80f 3 days ago!!!! What the heck?!?!?! big surprise big surprise

spending quality time trying to make TentaSquirrel and installing content.  Sigh.  Waiting for new computer chair and guitar effeects pedal to arrive, should happen before.. midnight! shock Sometimes FedEx and UPS run late…

Back to another cup of Earl Gray and “Poser for Beginners”... smirk

Have a great day, everyone! smile

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Posted: 11 December 2012 11:07 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 949 ]
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Ledhead - 11 December 2012 10:56 AM

I did see on a news program that dogs are being trained to drive. I can’t believe any law would pass that would allow it, but you never know. The day they pass that law is the day I will more than likely stop driving. How is a dog going to explain it’s side of an accident? Woof bark bark growl bark woof lick slobber woof bark. What will happen if a cat runs across the road in front of the dog? Will he jump out the window or just take the car off road? Will the dog be able to control itself passing by a pizza shop or a family cookout? Dog’s driving, I sure as hell hope not.

Quite the contrary… in a recent evaluation of DMV records in New York, most dogs actually drove better than their human counterparts, and had few incidents of DWI.  NYC is considering a program to allow dogs to hold taxi licenses citing “how much worse can it be?”  The only thing holding back the project is that stop signs will have to be changed to “STAY” and traffic lights don’t really come across the same for the colorblind canines.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 11:14 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 950 ]
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lordvicore - 11 December 2012 11:07 AM
Ledhead - 11 December 2012 10:56 AM

I did see on a news program that dogs are being trained to drive. I can’t believe any law would pass that would allow it, but you never know. The day they pass that law is the day I will more than likely stop driving. How is a dog going to explain it’s side of an accident? Woof bark bark growl bark woof lick slobber woof bark. What will happen if a cat runs across the road in front of the dog? Will he jump out the window or just take the car off road? Will the dog be able to control itself passing by a pizza shop or a family cookout? Dog’s driving, I sure as hell hope not.

Quite the contrary… in a recent evaluation of DMV records in New York, most dogs actually drove better than their human counterparts, and had few incidents of DWI.  NYC is considering a program to allow dogs to hold taxi licenses citing “how much worse can it be?”  The only thing holding back the project is that stop signs will have to be changed to “STAY” and traffic lights don’t really come across the same for the colorblind canines.

I honestly believe some (I have seen some smart collies and chihuahuas) dogs could drive better than some (I mean most that I encounter on the road) human drivers.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 11:34 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 951 ]
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setup the christmas icicle lights on my office window, brought my christmas pooh bear.  if this don’t cure the blahs,  i’m seriously dysfunctional and there is no cure.  even the scope oscillator thingie wavies are kinda christmassy.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 11:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 952 ]
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Misty Whisky - 11 December 2012 11:34 AM

setup the christmas icicle lights on my office window, brought my christmas pooh bear.  if this don’t cure the blahs,  i’m seriously dysfunctional and there is no cure.  even the scope oscillator thingie wavies are kinda christmassy.

If you’re at work, I seriously doubt you could get rid of all the blahs, but maybe some of them. It usually starts with a smile and a coke or maybe the other way around.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 12:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 953 ]
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Ledhead - 11 December 2012 11:37 AM
Misty Whisky - 11 December 2012 11:34 AM

setup the christmas icicle lights on my office window, brought my christmas pooh bear.  if this don’t cure the blahs,  i’m seriously dysfunctional and there is no cure.  even the scope oscillator thingie wavies are kinda christmassy.

If you’re at work, I seriously doubt you could get rid of all the blahs, but maybe some of them. It usually starts with a smile and a coke or maybe the other way around.


no coke around, but i nabbed a diet Dr Pepper from the lunch truck. smile

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Posted: 11 December 2012 12:16 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 954 ]
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lordvicore - 11 December 2012 09:36 AM
Miss Bad Wolf - 11 December 2012 07:52 AM
tjohn - 11 December 2012 05:54 AM

Aw…cute kitteh for Misty.

if I could I would bring that kitten into my warm home and try my best to keep her for the rest of her life.  first I would have to get a doctor´s note saying I need a feline service animal.

I used to train cats as chauffeurs for the blind… It really wasn’t such a good idea, but I did meet a doctor who would sign pretty much anything for anyone… I even got him to sign off on my gill grafting surgery… stupid grouper chickened out at the last second so I still have to breath air like everyone else.
Never trust a grouper or any sea bass… and NEVER lend them money.
I suppose if you didn’t actually let the cat drive much…
Actually, it might not even make sense if your state doesn’t give CDL’s to cats… technically I had to claim the cats where trained as EMS technicians so NY would give them their CDLs and except for Oklahoma and Utah most states wont let cats drive anything larger than a golf cart… although Colorado did legalize pot in small quantities, so I’m figuring in a few months they might be supporting all sorts of “imaginative” new laws and programs… my “Jetpacks for Pandas” program already has gotten some support and its only been 1 day….

One of your students wouldn’t have happened to be named Toonces?
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xl4e9g_saturday-night-live-toonces-the-cat_fun#.UMd31ne7l2A

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Posted: 11 December 2012 12:20 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 955 ]
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Complaint, that Video can only be viewed in the US.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 12:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 956 ]
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lalala “we’re on the island of misfit toys”  lalala “there’s always tomorrow for dreams to come true”

hmph, if Santa had accepted Rudolph’s red nose at the beginning, everyone else would’ve accepted him. 
then Donner wouldn’t have covered up his nose,
and then there wouldn’t have been the laughed out of the reindeer games incident


TOONCES!

... Toonces usually drove them off a cliff or something, ?

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Posted: 11 December 2012 12:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 957 ]
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chohole - 11 December 2012 12:20 PM

Complaint, that Video can only be viewed in the US.

Sorry Cho. Try Googling “toonces the driving cat steve martin” and see if one comes up you can view.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 01:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 958 ]
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blech, even the gatorade protein drink tasts gross.  after taste blech blech.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 01:45 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 959 ]
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Apparently there is something called “gripe water”. It seems to be used to treat colic in infants. Although I have heard of both infants and colic, I was blissfully unaware of “gripe water”. They say you learn something new every day. Apparently for me it was “gripe water” today.
Now I am wondering how to use my new knowledge. Perhaps someone will say, “I have an infant with colic.” Then I could smile knowingly and ask, “Have you tried gripe water?”
It could happen.

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Posted: 11 December 2012 02:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 960 ]
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I hope I can use my computer soon

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