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The Twinkies and Lime Jello Complaint Thread—Now With More Squirrels!
Posted: 27 November 2012 12:47 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 106 ]
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Miss Bad Wolf - 27 November 2012 09:25 AM

I have to pee.  I have to pee.  But the episode on this DVD is almost over.  Then I will pee.

To pee or not to pee… that is a problem…
Whether ‘tis better in the pants to suffer the slings and arrows of soaking undies,
Or to take leave of present task and pee a sea of withheld urine,
And by relieving stressed bladder, to faint, to sleep in sloppy puddle,
No more; and by a sleep I imply face down, as though drunk,
The Bladder-ache, and thousand almost drips that this swollen bladder is heir to!
This shall be an explosion, Devoutly not to be wish for.
To Pee to sleep, to perchance not sleep in one’s own urine, Aye maybe you’ll make it to the tub.
For in that gallon or so of pee, what embarrassment may come?
Perchance to make it to the potted fern or fluffy’s litter box, and hope the carpet not to soil,
We must not give pause, there can only be haste
So only this calamity of so long held urine not spill upon the floor,
For who will bear the whips and scorns of shame and not bear false witness on thy canine?
This pressure so wrong, this proud man’s impending incontinence?
The insolence of peeing in the office, the neighbors couch or all over sleeping felines beside you!
This patient bladder and the unworthy pressure it takes,
Where you yourself so risk a huge mess to make,
With bare bodkin? What’s a bodkin?
Is it the same as a butt or bum? No matter- Who would Fardels bear…
What is a Fardels bear? Oh, cruel hallucinations…
You grunt and sweat under heavy,weary bladder,
But that dread of something after this small death,
The undiscovered country, from who’s shame no traveller returns,
Puzzles the will, strains the bladder to see this through,
and makes us rather bear these chills we now have.
Than to fly to other areas we might not make it to, the places to rightly spew forth pee,
Thus the threat of incontinence makes cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of long stored urine, its sickly dark yellow, with the pale cast of shame,
This enterprise can no longer bear pitch or movement, with this regard all has gone awry…
Now you have lost the name of action, softly the tinkle flows… a rise… a gush…
The fair fluffy… feline on the sofa… forgive me…
Now forever this sin be remembered.

 

Damn… that was hard to do.


Hope you made it.

 

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Posted: 27 November 2012 01:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 107 ]
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Skiriki - 27 November 2012 07:26 AM

Morphs! Isn’t it awesome! LOL

LOL, yep. LOL

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Posted: 27 November 2012 01:15 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 108 ]
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Misty Whisky - 26 November 2012 06:43 PM

i wish they would make a movie from the Pern dragon novels.  F’lar, Lessa, Master Robinton.

Oh yeah, I would love that.

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Posted: 27 November 2012 01:31 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 109 ]
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lordvicore - 27 November 2012 12:47 PM
Miss Bad Wolf - 27 November 2012 09:25 AM

I have to pee.  I have to pee.  But the episode on this DVD is almost over.  Then I will pee.

To pee or not to pee… that is a problem…
Whether ‘tis better in the pants to suffer the slings and arrows of soaking undies,
Or to take leave of present task and pee a sea of withheld urine,
And by relieving stressed bladder, to faint, to sleep in sloppy puddle,
No more; and by a sleep I imply face down, as though drunk,
The Bladder-ache, and thousand almost drips that this swollen bladder is heir to!
This shall be an explosion, Devoutly not to be wish for.
To Pee to sleep, to perchance not sleep in one’s own urine, Aye maybe you’ll make it to the tub.
For in that gallon or so of pee, what embarrassment may come?
Perchance to make it to the potted fern or fluffy’s litter box, and hope the carpet not to soil,
We must not give pause, there can only be haste
So only this calamity of so long held urine not spill upon the floor,
For who will bear the whips and scorns of shame and not bear false witness on thy canine?
This pressure so wrong, this proud man’s impending incontinence?
The insolence of peeing in the office, the neighbors couch or all over sleeping felines beside you!
This patient bladder and the unworthy pressure it takes,
Where you yourself so risk a huge mess to make,
With bare bodkin? What’s a bodkin?
Is it the same as a butt or bum? No matter- Who would Fardels bear…
What is a Fardels bear? Oh, cruel hallucinations…
You grunt and sweat under heavy,weary bladder,
But that dread of something after this small death,
The undiscovered country, from who’s shame no traveller returns,
Puzzles the will, strains the bladder to see this through,
and makes us rather bear these chills we now have.
Than to fly to other areas we might not make it to, the places to rightly spew forth pee,
Thus the threat of incontinence makes cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of long stored urine, its sickly dark yellow, with the pale cast of shame,
This enterprise can no longer bear pitch or movement, with this regard all has gone awry…
Now you have lost the name of action, softly the tinkle flows… a rise… a gush…
The fair fluffy… feline on the sofa… forgive me…
Now forever this sin be remembered.

 

Damn… that was hard to do.


Hope you made it.


Now I have stopped holding my sides to control positive fits of laughter I think I can be coherent enough to type.  Lordvicore, that was awesome.

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Posted: 27 November 2012 02:11 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 110 ]
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Complaint Thread

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Posted: 27 November 2012 02:26 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 111 ]
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Thankyou Tjohn, I am happy now

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Posted: 27 November 2012 02:29 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 112 ]
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SQUIRRELS!

GIT ‘EM!

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Posted: 27 November 2012 02:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 113 ]
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Squirrels eating twinkies, that’s what I want to see.

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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 114 ]
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Morning. Grey day here, perhaps it will rain again. Phones at work are still off, going for a swim before the pool gets busy smile

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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:01 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 115 ]
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I got a new hair cut

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Hello, Sweetie!
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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 116 ]
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Dammit Bucky, don’t you dare die on me! Breathe! Breathe! Stay with me, Bucky!

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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 117 ]
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Umm… how many squirrels are in that pic and what are they actually doing? Isn’t that a third squirrel back there and… umm…

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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:44 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 118 ]
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fivecat - 27 November 2012 02:51 PM

Squirrels eating twinkies, that’s what I want to see.

Couldn’t find a squirrel…how about a ferret?

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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:51 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 119 ]
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Complaint: Rain brought me a sinus headache and subacromial bursitis attack.
Non-complaint: We needed rain.

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Posted: 27 November 2012 03:58 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 120 ]
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tjohn - 27 November 2012 03:51 PM

Complaint: Rain brought me a sinus headache and subacromial bursitis attack.
Non-complaint: We needed rain.

shut eye  I’ve had a headache all day!  Woke up with it.  Aspirin hasn’t touched it, Aleve hasn’t touched it, extra coffee hasn’t touched it . . . I don’t think it’s sinus, but it’s been cloudy and rainy here all day too.

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