Nothing better than having a good laugh in the morning, starts the day out right, puts you in a good mood and helps you to overlook the crap that all of us have to deal with on a daily basis.
We totally need spoiler tags here. I’ll do the post in white thing, so paint over the next area, ‘kay, if you’re morbidly curious?
I’m gonna put some space here.
Just in case if you’re receiving notifications via e-mail.
So you know that you might wanna stop reading, if you don’t wanna see the story of my nose alien.
Because it is kinda gruesome.
Okay. Story begins below that line.
I copy-pasted it from my LJ. I recorded it so I would forever remember the day when an alien came out of my nose.
Like I said, I’ve gotten a flu. And this flu has been particularly annoying, because no matter what I’ve done, I just can’t seem to empty my nostrils as usual. It is as if there is a thick film somewhere within my nasal cavities, and it blocks all the attempts to remove it; even worse, it felt like drumbeat somewhere within whenever I moved my head.
I took a hot shower, I tried to flush it out; I’ve drinked lots of fluids and I’ve tried to blow my nose. Nothing, nada, absolutely not working. I was worried about having to go and see the doctor over it, and the thought of nasal cavity puncturing drove me mad with worry.
Until some half an hour ago I felt my nose tingle, and I grabbed a hanky and gave it a blow. Ah, sweet innocence—you never miss it until you lose it.
I felt something blow through my nostril; it hurt like blazes, it was like giving birth through an orifice not meant for such task. The inside and outside felt like fires dancing on my flesh.
My hanky felt heavy. Way, way too heavy. A careful squish on the outside revealed something… lumpy in the middle of it. Shivers ran up and down my spine. Dreading, I opened the squished hanky just a bit to see and…
“EEEWWWWWWW! OH GOD!”
“What?” asked my SO, preoccupied with mortal trifles of life only couple of yards away from the ground zero.
“An alien came out of my nose.” was the only thing I could say without losing an extra load of sanity. Mortal curiosity overwhelmed me, and I took an another peek inside.
“Oh that’s good.” he said, then he went back to his business with tomorrow’s shopping list.
Fool, he does not know!
If I have saved the Earth from an alien invasion, the line for offerings and worship is clearly marked with a sign. Plz be behavink orderly.