Another good day for Scandinavian (SAS).....
...ah, ladies and gentlemen this is your captain. As we are in arrears on our rental agreement at the main terminal and have been summarily evicted, we will be deplaning in the grass at the end of the runway today. Please check to make sure you are wearing your most comfortable footwear before leaving the aircraft as it is a long walk to the terminal. For those passengers whom Helsinki is the final destination, you may claim your luggage on the side of the road outside the west perimeter fence in about an hour. For those of you connecting on to other SAS flights, please check with a passenger service representative as to which end of the field you to need to proceed to. If you are connecting to another carrier that is solvent enough to afford a gate at the main terminal, you are on your own.
For your personal safety, you are required to look both ways before crossing any taxiway, active runway or tarmac area. SAS will not, and cannot afford to, be held liable for any injury that may occur from incidents involving other aircraft that may be encountered on the field.
On behalf of the flight and cabin crew, we apologise for the inconvenience this may cause and thank you for choosing SAS, We look forward to serving you again provided we aren’t liquidated or bought out by another airline.
Have a nice day.